Damnit, rice, where were you last week when someone was labeling me least sexy doperchick ever? LOL
In answer to the reposting of the question, I think a lot of folk here were posting their answers because they would feel a sense of responsibility once love was declared. So it’s a problem even if it’s not a relationship being proposed. After the computer support guy admitted his crush on me (which I reciprocated, by the way–ricepad had to listen to me go on and on about him) I sometimes wondered if I should talk less about my boyfriend (later husband) to him. I felt like censoring myself on his behalf, and felt conscious of his feelings. It’s those little things that would still be a drag, even if said love declaration didn’t threaten one’s ongoing relationship.
I’m wavering here - between needing to know that I’m as loveable as I like to think I am and remembering the number of times I heard: “If only I wasn’t married…”
I think I’d like to know, but from a third party. Yeah, I know, it’s SOOOOOO junior high but I think I’d do better with “Joe is in love with you” rather than having Joe say “I love you.” At least that way, Joe and I are spared that potentially awkward moment but the warm fuzzies are still there.
I’d have to say no. One of my own immature traits is a difficulty in appreciating what I have while imagining what could be. I may have the desire to know, but the desire would be to relive the fleeting passion which is prominent in new relationships. Since I would never cheat on a person, I would be sorely tempted to break up with the person I was with in order to recapture that passion. After that faded, I would be right back in the same position without having dealt with my own issues, except there would be a different person sitting across the dinner table from me, and there would be a lot of drama and hurt feelings on the way to that seat at the table.
Then again, the incurable romanticist in me says that somewhere out there is an undeniable true love. One which never wanes, is never taken for granted, never becomes mundane. If that was who fell for me, then yes, I’d want to know. But the realist in me suggests that such a love does not exist.
Having carried a torch for one of my best guy friends for years, I would say no. Not that he’s in a relationship, but because I know (with near absolute certainty) that my feelings are not reciprocated, and it would just make everything awkward. I value the friendship (he is my oldest non-related friend) more than the miniscule chance that I’m wrong in my assessment of the situation. If he were in a relationship, and nothing changed, the awkwardness factor would still be there, and if he broke up with said person because of me I think that the guilt would prevent me from ever really feeling OK with it.