How about, plain and simple, they love each other?
Quite easily. There some people (cough…Phelps…cough…JerseyDiamond…cough) who are evil bigots who I think are frightening and dangerous. I don’t want my son to hang with people like that, let alone enter into a serious relationship with them. There are some Christians who don’t spread a message of hate and exclusion (Poly comes to mind). I would be mystified, but not upset, if my son dated these people.
Gotcha. I’m wondering where you draw the line, though. Would Unitarians be okay, but Baptists and Pentacostals not?
How about Roman Catholics, or Presbyterians, or those pesky Methodists?
Wouldn’t it be far easier to judge whether the person in question is a decent person or an asshole, and go from there? It seems far easier to me than writing off entire denominations and religions.
Frankly, you sound as bad as those Christian parents who get upset when their children date or marry atheists. Intolerance takes many, many forms, Kalhoun.
Now, see…you’re not paying attention. I said I’d be mystified, but not upset, if my son dated someone who was a good believer.
I’m paying attention. I was just focusing, again, on the some Christians remark.
Seems like you would be upset if your kid dated a Christian who was an asshole, right? Wouldn’t the problem then be the jerkish behavior of the individual in question, rather than an entire religion?
I don’t know where religion has a place in the discussion, unless you really have a problem with religion. And, like I said before, that seems intolerant to me.
My boy is English, Irish, Scots, German, Sicilian, black, and Vietnamese. (I prefer to regard him as just American.) So even if I did object to him dating someone of a different ethnicity, he’d still have a lot of options.
OK, I have to admit I would have a problem if my daughter was dating a Muslim man.
Unfortunately, I have had a great many bad experiences with Muslim men. I don’t like this trait in myself, and I try to change it, but oftener than not something else happens to burn me.
Mostly, I would hope that she was 110 % sure that the man, whoever it was, would treat her with dignity, and respect. And I don’t see many Muslim men treating their wives as an equal. I am no expert, it’s just what I see. I have a lot of Muslim friends…but I would never consider dating any of them, myself.
I hope I have explained myself. In the end, I would rather attend her wedding to a Muslim man and dance joyfully at the wedding than take the chance of being shut out of her life.
Given that I, a Jew, am married to a nice Irish Catholic boy, I would feel hypocritical should Aaron choose to date someone who is “different”.
That said, however, if he chooses a partner of a different religion to the point where he’s pressured to convert in order to keep that partner, I’d have a problem with that.
Robin
I’m trying to decide what I’d do if my hypothetical daughter came home and wanted to become Aldebaran’s third wife…
:eek:
:eek:
And I like Aldebaran, too…just not as a husband or a son-in-law. Sorry, Aldy baby.
I’m not Kalhoun, but it seems clear to me that she was referring to “jerkish” behaviors that are rooted in certain so-called Christian beliefs like homophobia or sexism (submission of wives to husbands).
My children would be free to date or marry someone of a different race or ethnicity or religion. My worry would be for the other set of parents. I dated a black guy in college who told me I could never meet his family (I’m white). I had a very serious boyfriend who was Jewish. Most of his family hated me, and I was not welcome at family events. Even his parents, who liked me as a person, told him they were ‘dissapointed’. I believe family pressure help lead to him dumping me. I was crushed, and I’d feel obligated to warn my children about the great uphill battle they may be in for.
And you know what, I’m with Kalhoun. I’d be very, very concerned if my child brought home a religious fanatic of any sort. I’m sorry, but Christians do not get a pass from having their fanatic sects called as they are just because Christianity is the dominant religion in this country. (Note that the boyfriend would have to be an actual believer and not just raised by them. I certainly don’t hold my own boyfriend responsible for his crazy fundie relatives)
It depends on the family though. My parents were once dead set against me seeing an ‘outsides’, so to speak. However, they did realise the folly of this, and that if they wanted to keep me in their lives, they’d have to compromise with me on this one. It is an uphill battle – that I don’t deny – but then it could happen for any sort of reason, not just ethnicity.
Please change ‘outsides’ to ‘outsider’ in that comment.
There are jerkish behaviors on the other side, too, among certain “sects” of atheists. Madalyn Murray O’Hair wasn’t known as a particularly nice individual, after all.
I’m loath to paint all atheists as shrill and intolerant based on her example. If my kids were dating atheists, I’d be concerned solely with their character as individuals.
Honestly, who has time for such nonsense? Where do people find the energy to be concerned about such bullshit?
Racism is racism. It’s just as corrosive and destructive if it’s Ken the Korean Immigrant as if it was Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel. “He’s from the old country, they have different values” is the dumbest excuse in human history. Don’t come to my country, a land of tolerance and freedom, and (rightfully) expect us to treat you as a brother, and then turn around and treat your fellow Canadians as less than equal. If you want to be a racist you should have gone to some shithole country where that’s the norm.
Heh. Fremont. My hometown. :smack: What broadcast was this?
Somehow I’m not surprised. But then, I hate that town.
Anyway. I’m pretty libertarian about this - I don’t care who my child would date, so long as that person treats my child well and isn’t an asshole. There really isn’t much justification to limiting another person’s choices like that.
My mom said this to me, almost word for word, when we talked about it.
In early high school I dated a Hindu boy. Because I wasn’t Indian (I’m white) and I wasn’t Hindu (was raised Presbyterian) his parents were really wary of the relationship. I don’t think he even told them for the longest time, and eventually we split up, largely because of the family tensions. He’s been dating a nice Hindu Indian girl from his temple’s youth group ever since.
Dante and [Elenia28**, I’m moved by the sympathy that drips from your posts.
Once a Muslim, always a Terrorist, I suppose? (variation: Once an Arab…)
Oh sorry… have to leave you. I must go overwatch the daily beating of my spouses. And this time it shall take a few hours…Once again no pregnancy!!
Salaam. A
knowing very well that wishing you peace shall not help to make you see the insulting bigotry you display
You think to much. 
Sure, I can just see it now. He one day grows up and brings home a nice girl who is English, Irish, Scots, German, Italian, black, and Vietnamese! The shame he would bring to your family. You’d kick him out on the spot.
I’m getting married this summer. Near as I can tell, my kids will be:
1/8 Irish
1/8 Polish
These two are clear cut from straight off the boat grandparents of mine.
After that it gets murky:
1/4 Scottish anscestry that’s been in the US since the revolution, so it’s watered down to the point of simply being “American”.
1/8 African American.
3/8 Mix of English and Scottish. Again, this side of my wife to be’s family have all been in the US long enough to be watered down to the point where it doesn’t really matter anymore.