That was a joke “fuck you” by the way. Sarcasm can be difficult to render in text form.
Personally I think that Conan in Egypt is going to be garbage… What? The Rock? Scorpion… Oh. Well, umm, in any case, it’ll suck.
A few thoughts:
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It does not appear that “The Scorpion King” is set in Egypt, in the sense that I don’t think we’re going to see anything particularly Egyptian except sand. It looks like it’s just a generic Mad Maxish world of people in rags with swords.
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If the trailer is any indication, the villian in “The Scorpion King” is just about the least intimidating, wimpiest villian in film history. I just cannot buy that some skinny English geek is a threat to anyone. He looks like a soccer player.
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I’ll bet dollars to donuts it won’t even have particularly good action scenes. It looks cheap.
Sure, sure, as long as you realize that a naked pagan princess can give practically any film some merit!
EXT - THE CORLEONE FAMILY ESTATE - DAY
MICHAEL CORLEONE, dressed in his Marine uniform, and KAY ADAMS, his girlfriend, are seated at a table amidst the happy chaos of Carlo and Connie’s wedding day. Traditional SICILIAN MUSIC is played as relatives dance and sing. Kay is pointing out the various Corleones and their friends.
KAY
(Points at a large, scary man talking to himself.)
Why is that man talking to himself? That scary man?
LUCA BRASI (Rehearsing to himself)
Don Corleone, I am honored, and grateful…
MICHAEL
He’s a very scary guy.
KAY
Well, who is he?
MICHAEL
He helps out my father sometimes. There was this bandleader…
KAY
(Points to the dance area)
Who’s that?
MICHAEL
That seems to a naked pagan princess.
A NAKED PAGAN PRINCESS writhes and jiggles to the sound of Sicilian violin music. TOM HAGEN dances with her with a look of transported joy.
Am I the first one to mention that there really WAS a Scorpion King in Ancient Egypt? According to tradition he was the father of Narmer, who united Upper and Lower Egypt in the 3100’s BCE and is considered the first Pharaoh. This was about 500 years before the Great Pyramid, give or take.
I’ll be interested to learn if the movie makes any reference to this. The Scorpion King has always fascinated me because, if he was really called that by his contemporaries, it seems to indicate that the very idea of a “name” was different in that remote age.
Well, maybe. I’ve seen some advance stuff on it, and this writeup seems to be pretty much an average summation of the various responses.
And jarbaby, another thing you can do to justify The Scorpion King is to watch Conan the Barbarian beforehand to see how much of the plot they rip off. That’s what I’m going to do, when I eventually do see it. (No guarantee I’ll see it in the cinema. I see everything eventually, but hey, I refused to pay nine bucks for Sorority Boys, too. That’ll be on HBO in a year. Dunno if I’ll feel obligated to catch Scorpion King at the local plex.)
RickJay,
Wow, it works even better than I thought.
Too bad the princess in the upcoming Star Wars isn’t a naked pagan. Ah well, the light saber fights will carry the film just fine I suppose. Still… if only George would see the potential of an R rated Star Wars film…
Did I post that outloud or just think it?