I left my drink unattended for a mere two minutes and in that time someone spiked it with prolactin.
In time, the noises will subside and you’ll wonder how you ever lived without a parasite growing around your spine.
The whore made love to a loaf of Wonder Bread on hotel balcony facing an icy Lake Michigan.
I knew she was a whore when she said please hand me that transmission, it’s my sex toy.
Montreal, Wisconsin can go fuck itself!
- occasioned by someone asking me which Montreal I lived in.
As Charlie Sheen handed me his credit card, he told me that in Montreal, Wisconsin, he had managed to fuck himself.
At a later date, Charle Sheen admitted that’s how he had contracted HIV.
It turns out that Charlie Sheen did not use a condom when fucking himself.
Emilio Estevez walked around for the rest of the day with a painful bowlegged limp.
Around these parts, stranger, a man gets to know a fellow before asking to borrow his pinking shears.
As the undertaker stood up, a pair of pinking shears dropped out of the pocket of his business suit whose colors better suited a harlequin.
At a table in a small room, in a small town in Florida way off the beaten path, the gambler noticed the suits of the cards he was being dealt bore no resemblance at all to the four with which he was familiar.
"Exactly how do you play Texas hold up with tarot cards? " asked the gambler, as he borrowed a stranger’s pinking shears to cut them up.
You’ve got exactly three seconds to put Uncle Jeb’s autographed shotgun back on the steer horns where it belongs.
“Come, SzechuanKat,” said Bumpo, the wonderful dog, “let us consummate our love and produce a herd of Lombardy Pudding Elk to be my heirs.”
The herd of snowcows melted into a puddle of chocolate milk.
Her lactose intolerant cat lapped up the melted snowcow.
Where, oh where, are the melted snowcows of yesteryear?
They are mooing and lowing in the dizzy multicolored mind of Syd Barrett.
Syd Barrett put on the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat and made his Broadway debut.