I would describe these guitar fills as tasty, with a side of crunchy.
Routine maintenance of your guitar includes taking it on an extended weekend in Vegas at least once every three years, baby!
After three straight nights of breaking guitars against the wall, I walked outside and each of my ten thousand one hundred and twenty six alligators had a rose in his mouth.
My alligators don’t like smelling roses; they far prefer tearing apart boxes of Assyrian moist towelettes with tongs.
Rose-tinting alligators isn’t as hard as some blind Albanians would think.
Think you know Peabody Churchill Azarakalaminana-Bellflower-Fartopolis? Well, yes, then… you probably do.
Most Americans do not know that “Peabody” is properly pronounced “Throat warbler larch staple.”
A confused Sherman asked Mr. Peabody what he, Pluto and Goofy were doing in the doghouse at Mickey’s during the afterparty of the Emmy Awards ceremony.
As Mickey Spillane stood in the dark ally, one question kept running over and over again in his mind-“Was it a mistake to use condensed milk instead of evaporated milk in my Christmas cookies?”
By the time I found Mabel crouching behind the potted ficus at the annual Pipefitter’s Union Awards Banquet, any chance I had of asking for her hand had evaporated.
Life insurance salesmen enjoy a nice glass of scotch and a sweet candy cigarette after group sex in the coat room.
Happy Lendervedder’s coat was made only of the finest Guyanan perch, and laced together with razor-tested Corinthian leather straps.
As she put on the strapless evening gown sewn from the finest emu leather and garnished with platypus bill buttons, she thought “I shall be the Belle of the PETA Ball!”
My emu has the face of a Filipino boy.
Boy, could I go for a braised elephant’s trunk about now.
The elephant packed himself into his trunk and embarked on his long voyage.
Every elephant I have ever taken jet-skiing couldn’t care less about GOP politics.
Colorful blue notions awaken preposterously
Blue notions are like Doritos, they make a tasty breading for chicken.