Write a story, one sentence at a time!

As soon as Sam woke up, he knew it was going to be a crappy day.

The leaf blower or snow blower or vacuum cleaner or whatever it was had his head in a mess.

Clearly, drinking half a bottle of Jack was not a good idea when you already have the flu.

And if that wasn’t enough, the words of his sister-in-law kept repeating in his head:

“Don’t forget what we talked about last Saturday.”

“It puts the lotion in the basket. IT PUTS THE LOTION IN THE BASKET OR IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN!”

Were the clouded thoughts amongst delirium tremens.

Nevertheless, Sam climbed down off the pool table where he’d fallen asleep and staggered toward his pants.

How that teenage hooker ended up wearing his pants he had no idea.

Tripping over something squishy on the way.

But he was glad she was still there…and breathing!

Hmm, “I don’t remember buying these…I’ve never worn a size four with a hole cut in the crotch,” he thought.

“Jesus!” Sam shouted, causing his roommate to roll over and grunt. “Get up off the floor and get me a glass of water and some ibuprofen or a tranquilizer dart or something. My head’s killing me.”

Jesus blinked back at him blearily. “What choo want, Homes?”

“Hey, isn’t my life supposed to transpire one sentence at a time,” he wondered while vaguely thinking of his dear friend Purl McKnittington.

Sam groaned to himself, “If only someone had substituted commas for periods this whole mess would never have happened, compound sentences would have been fine, well within the parameters of the experiment, heck, even ellipses…but with the latest failure it was hard to see how the project could recover”.

“Plus my ability to keep tenses straight is shot,” mused Sam as he searched his pants pockets for that bottle of Vicodan he’d scored last week.

The door opens, and a shadowy figure approaches…

But recover he did, tenses and all, and found himself wondering if perhaps he had given his lovely but rather expensive teenage friend the flu–and whether she might have given him something much worse.

“Oops,” he thought…“I seem to be getting ahead of myself.”