…and then I stepped in a pile of dog shit this deep! Argh! I hate Wednesdays!
“Yeah, I finished second in the farting contest but I won the longest booger contest with one this long.”
No no, I hit that car while side parking. Its always because men are telling me that *THIS * is six inches.
In a bold maneuver, Bush administration officials try to coax the United Nations into war without bothering to produce the fake vile of anthrax Colin Powell used.
“We just wanted to see how far we could push the envelope” Condoleezza Rice remarked.
Unbeknownst to the Senate Panel, Nominee Condoleeza Rice flashes a “Crip” sign to Senator Joseph Biden (D-DE) and gives props for her homies in the Senate and Hizzouse.
Tripler
She got mad advizin’ skillz, yo.
“I will now distract you with my left hand and flip you off with my right.”
“Capitol Hill Cat Fight! Raowr! Ffft! Ffft!”
“Tsssshit. Where did that hand come from?”
“Pencil erasers, sir? Hell, no. They were this long.”
“We have these new invisible spy cameras. Let me demonstrate by taking a picture of myself. Cheese.”
Because Rummy said he wouldn’t put more than this in Senator Boxer. Jealous?
You know if you put your hand up like this, the moon only looks THAT big.
Watch me hack a loogie through the goal posts here.
You know what “C” stands for Ms. Boxer?
“There is some evidence vital to my argument that we currently lack; I’ll hold up my hand and we can photoshop it in later”
This one is my favorite so far. ::applause:: 
“The art of power dressing. Now, notice my fringe is just so.”
“Did you hear the one about the lobster…”
But neither of my hands look like an ‘L’, are they both right?
Any of you seen my chapstick? Plastic, cylindrical, about this tall. . .I could really use it right now.
Please allow me to quantify your political relevance, Senator Boxer.
“Ms. Boxer, I am thiiiiis close to going up there and knocking you on your bitch ass.”
“I move for a twenty-minute recess: I have to take a dump thicker than my arm!”