http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/050119/480/wcap110201191629
“If it wasn’t for that gnome, I never would have made it through college.”
“Long Dong Silver, my ass!”
“I’m crushhhing your head!”
“I was this close to taking off my earrings and kicking Colin Powell’s pansy ‘I don’t wanna go to war’ behind!”
‘And Monica was like “It was huge!” and I was like “Nah, this long at most”’
“Osama
Has only got one ball.
Sadaam
Has got two, but they are small…”
Ms. Rice, at what point would you consult an orthodontist?
“In discussing the detainee torture scandal, nominee Rice explains that authorized physical abuse was limited to giving the suspects ‘such a pinch…’”
That was* fuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnyyyy*! 
I have had it up to between here and here.
Alright, alright, you caught me. I admit it. The fish was only this big!
“Fine, we admit it. What we found were only weapons of slight destruction.”
Wait a minute…That head! It’s already been crushed!
“Oprah Winfrey, your skills are weak. PREPARE TO BE DESTROYED!”
“What’s that Mr Socky? Someone’s stolen your clothes?!”
“And once all the wires and pullies are connected, this is how I make Dubya’s lips move.”
“Arrrg! Arrrg! Here comes the big dinosaur to eat the poor little microphone!”
“Gimme a ‘C’ !”
I like this one.
“Don’t tempt me Senator Boxer, for my balls hang this low off the ground and I will slap you silly with them.”
Here comes the CLAW! AAARGHH! The Claw! Nobody can stop the claw! everybody fears the claw!
“Why did I divorce his ass? I’ll tell you why, muthaf****r! THIS RIGHT HERE IS WHY!!”
I was THIS close to convinving Bush to nuke Baghdad! And that pansy Powell talked him out of it!