Write your own lyrics to stupid songs

Cafe Society
1

This was inspired by a recent thread naming bad songs by good artists. When I hate a song that’s playing on the radio or stuck in the middle of a CD I love, but not so much that I have to get up and skip it or change the station, I find myself writing my own lyrics to it.

A snippet I can think of off the top of my head…

Bridge over Troubled Water, the Funkel Brothers – Simon and Gar …
“Like a fish out of troubled water, I will flop around.”

Now give us your favorites. If they’re memorable, it will probably make all those bad songs go down a lot better from now on.

Zeb

2

My favorite was given to me by a DJ at a station I worked at many years ago.

Saving All My Love For You by Whitney Houston, one of the most gawd-awful annoying songs ever written, contains the line:

I’d rather be home, feelin’ blue,
'Cause I’m saving all my love for you…

I walked in the station one night, and heard Amy singing at the top of her voice:

Completely lost it at that point.

3

I planned to keep my own posts to my first thread to a minimum, but I have another I had to share.

After Macy Gray embarrassed the country with her “Star-Spangled Banner” fiasco, I retooled the chorus to her decidedly UN-dumb song “I Try”:

*I try to sing in public and choke,
Try to cross the stage and I stumble.
Though I try to hide it, it’s clear:
My brain is drug-addled beyond repair.
*
Yes, I crack myself up.

I also have a whole slew of REM songs rewritten to fit personal events at the time, because you could only understand every third Michael Stipe lyric or so. I could be the next Weird Al.
:rolleyes:

Zeb

4

Well, my brother was the one who came up with this, but he’s not here and I am, so:

Bailamos (sp?) by Enrique

Look at my mole,
It’s starting to take over,
Look at my mole.

5

A couple from my life:

Guns and Roses, Sweet Child of mine, which loses itself somewhere near the middle and starts in with the “Where do we go?” business:

Doesn’t this blow
Doesn’t this blow
Doesn’t this blow
etc.

Though not a bad song at all, a friend once created these alternate lyrics for the end of Stairway to heaven:

My wife will never be the same
Since she ran into a train
Cause it mashed out all her brains
She said she never felt such pain

And finally, you can sing the ABC song to Tom Petty’s “Last Dance with Mary Jane”

abc, efg, hijk, lmnop, qrs, tuv, wx, y and z
Now I’ve said my ABC’s tell me what you think of me
I can do my numbers too, listen to how good I do.

Reapeat.

6

Uhum. To the tune of Christina Aguilera’s “Genie In a Bottle”:
If you want to see me nude
Baby there’s a price to pay
I charge you by the hour
But I’ll be a cheap lay