WTC

My favorites from page 5 of this thread. Sorry, authors not credited, but should be honored by some tribute song (y’all know who you are):

[ul]
[li]Air strike over Midwest: Kansas, Missouri gone. Bush says, “Oops.”[/li]
[li]NASA Implicated In WTC Collapse: " O-Rings." Was all the unnamed source would say[/li]
[li]U.S. Forces Bomb Afghanistan Into Ultra-Hyper Laser Beam Age: “Shit, we got it backwards,” says Rumsfeld[/li]
[li]Department of Defense Goes 3-D: Construction begins on new Icosahedron[/li]Yet another way to beat a dead cow, the Pentagon-shape joke

[li]Producers of “Blind Date” offer Osama bin Laden a guest appearance on the show[/li]
[li]Tapes of Homemade Tribute Songs Begin to Surface: DJs Request Tongs[/li]
[li]Jeane Teasdale: “Things Sure Are Gloomy At The Fashion Bug”[/li][/ul]
My humble submissions:

Osama bin Laden Puppet-Stooge for Another Really, Really Evil Guy
Hitler, Tiny Tim Could Not Be Reached for Comment

In Wake of Tragedy, Jared Regains 200 Pounds
Subway restaurant spokesman finds recent ads uninspiring

Americans finding solace, comfort in Milli Vinilli

Straight from this hour’s headlines
Osama bin Laden Homeless
Terrorist leader to live on streets of Manhattan in cardboard box

Sorry posted to wrong thread. See “Possible Onion Headlines.”

-whitehouse

Okay, I’ll lock this one off then.