WTF?!! Gays - do you go through this much?

Ok I’m still a little tipsy so bare with me on this post. I was at a party tonight playing a game of pool with a friend, minding our own business when all of a sudden this girl comes up and starts dancing on the pool table, flaunting herself, being a regular drunkass, no big deal. It was the last shot but we both suck at pool anyway so it was no big deal. So anyway, after she was done with her little table dance she started walking around to all the guys saying “do you have a problem with that?!!” Just being really obnoxious and not making much sense. Mind you I was still cool with her at this point. Then she gets to me and says “do you have a problem with that?” and starts sucking on my neck. Now my girlfriend wasn’t there to say anything and I wasn’t very comfortable with this lady sucking on my neck so I said “I’m gay.” Suddenly this woman pushes me and then rams me in the gut with a pool stick and starts shouting “I have a problem with this gay motherfucker!”
Most of the guys there knew me and they didn’t hear me make the comment so they just shrugged it off and said “he’s not gay” but the whole situation really made me think. Do openly gay people really go through this much shit on a day to day basis? If so then cheers to you, I admire anyone that can take a load of shit like that and be big enough to not want to dish it back out.
I always said that if I was gay I would be open about it but tonight really made me think twice. Anyone else have any stories of people over-reacting when you told them you were gay?
[sub]note to mods: I’m not good enough at ranting to consider this a rant. I think it’s more of a “wtf, has this ever happened to you?” type thread, but if you feel it belongs in the pit then please move it there.[/sub]

Um, this is a situation wherein a drunk, psycho hosebeast is merely getting pissy after being rebuffed, probably about 5 minutes before she starts a crying jag about how she’s not pretty anymore and nobody loves her. I don’t think this can be compared to coming out to Grandmother over Thanksgiving turkey or, in my case, being outed by my evil bitch sister who had found out that I was gay (diary reading skag) and could not wait to rat me out. Luckily, my mom was cool.

Generally, I have had few problems with people finding out I am gay, apart from the one gaybashing incident, and in that instance, I just happened to be the unlucky guy walking out the gay bar door.

(gobear I thought you were a girl until now, no idea why, just an anecdotal comment.)

I’m not talking about “coming out” though. I’m not talking about sitting down with your grandmother or mom or whoever and explaining to them that you’re homosexual. I’m talking about regular everyday situations wherein something comes up and you mention that you’re gay and someone freaks out. I mean, I realize that this girl was just an idiot drunk but the way she responded just really took me off gaurd.

Well, there’s the incident I wrote about in the “what is gaybashing like?” thread where a group of kids started attacking me because they thought I was gay.

Comparable? Iunno.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who do freak out upon learning that someone is gay. There are a lot of people who do really hate gay people. I’m bisexual but almost no one knows that, so I have never had to deal with anything like that, thankfully. I recomend reading the gaybashing thread (bring some tissues).

**Cisco wrote:

Do openly gay people really go through this much shit on a day to day basis? If so then cheers to you, I admire anyone that can take a load of shit like that and be big enough to not want to dish it back out.**

Not on a day-to-day basis, but it does happen. More likely like once a month or so.

What often happens is I’ll mention my partner and then use the masculine pronoun afterwards and suddenly people’s eyebrows shoot up and then Christian Bible verses are spouted. :rolleyes:

Most people are cool about it, but then you get the people like your drunken psycho bitch.

I suppose that depends on how you define “over-reacting”. Forget about how strangers and casual acquaintances react–You might be surprised how many people think it’s perfectly reasonable and acceptable to cast aside a good friend, a son or daughter, a spouse or a parent upon learning the truth about whom they love, who they are, who they’ve always been but have been too afraid to reveal themselves to those people closest to them. Is it an over-reaction to suddenly see someone with whom you once shared companionship and confidences as a complete stranger, a freak, a pervert? A lot of people wouldn’t think so. I doubt that many of us who have come out don’t have at least one or two stories of rejection, abandonment and betrayal. That’s just how it goes. If everyone took the news in stride, there wouldn’t be so many terrified people still in the closet. Our choice is really pretty simple: risk losing those we love or live a perpetual lie.

What Is Gaybashing Like?

Well, I just spent three days confined to a room (medical study) with a guy going on about how gay people were degenerate perverts and so forth. Dude with a swastika tattoed on his arm. Not fun.

Roommate freshman year in college was most assuredly homophobic. It is a rather fortunate thing that he moved out very shortly after the start of the spring term (not long after that I figured out I at least wasn’t gay and wasn’t completely straight), because I don’t want to think about the confrontation that would have caused.

And of course there’s this “Christian” group I used to hang out with who mostly have issues with people who aren’t straight (these would be your cookie-cutter hypocrite christians). Once I figured that out, and once I figured out that their reaction to most of the stuff I was happy about in my life would be “Ew, gross” or something like that, I stopped hanging out with them. Their loss? Iunno. But I doubt I’m losing anything other than the chance to be angry by not associating with them anymore.

There’s a guy on fizzy’s LJ “friends” list who seems to derive joy from actively hating anyone who isn’t heterosexual (recent post, basically, said, “I don’t care how many people accept it or if they prove it’s okay and natural, it’s still disgusting and I hate it and it’s immoral.”) But he posts so infrequently that she’s not yet bothered to take him off her list.

I’m gay, and I’ve had less-than-pleasant encounters with women who view men as potential partners only. (This phenemonon is widespread across all genders and orientations, natch.)

It’s like they’re personally affronted that you aren’t attracted to them, and if you aren’t a potential boyfriend / sex partner, you’re not worth dealing with at all.

Not exactly homophobia, just nasty pragmatism. People have purposes and reasons for existing other than sexual ones, but some self-centered people have a problem with this notion.

If you thought gaybashing was bad, try being openly transgendered.

The thing is… there’s bad on-the-spot treatment like this, and then there’s the legal barriers and all that BS that the LGBT community goes through…

I work at a center for LGBT resources, counseling, etc. and some of the things I’ve heard are horrific. Teens have come in with stories of beatings, rape, abuse by police, being thrown out by their parents… and this is the ‘irregular’ stuff. Getting called names, being spat at, things like that are -common-.

So far (I’m not exactly TS, but I do genderbend quite easily and do so on a fairly regular basis, and I’m bisexual) I’ve been spat upon, called all sorts of names, physically threatened… in terms of family, I never had a good relationship with them anyway, but after they found out, things got even worse. They acted as though everything were my fault, that I was being weak and selfish, that I did this just to spite them, etc. and then when my mother got depressed and my father worried she would commit suicide, he blamed it all on -me- and constantly told me what a horrible child I was. Hmm.

Well, now teeming millions know this. :smiley: :cool: :smiley:

Let’s see…

(Presumably) straight guy in college refused to room with me after I came out because his father told him he couldn’t. Actual roommate and his friends (mostly ROTC) stopped speaking any time I came into view (including abruptly shutting up when I ran into them on the stairs talking about how unfair it was that my roomie had to keep living with me until the end of the semester). Former employer told me I couldn’t have gay newspapers at work (although “Modern Bride” magazine was just fine). Current employer made me take down a portion of a Women’s History Month display that included the word “lesbian” because “it’s Women’s History Month, not Lesbian History Month.” I took down the entire display instead.

Other than that, the assholes have talked behind my back instead of to my face.

I have found your story to be true in many cases…the drunk attractive woman who feels she can get anybody she wants and unfortunately targets a good looking gay guy.
Firstly, she is humiliated that her wiles ain’t working.
Secondly, she realizes that the guys is gay…usually he has to scream it in her ear like you did.
Thridly, she now has to face the drunken realization that her average score of 100 percent with men has now dipped to 99.9 percent.

On the flip side, I have seen gay drunks come on to other gay men and get all bent out of shape when they don’t respond. I have even witnessed so-called straight guys get upset when a gay man doesn’t respond to their offer.

Drunks are not a lot of fun unless you are two drinks ahead of them. Otherwise, watch out…and I have to admit, without being sexist, there is nothing worse than a woman who is loaded, horny and scorned…men will just mutter “bitch” or “faggot” but a wild woman will make sure the whole bar knows what the score is. Experience would have told me to walk FAR away the minute she got on the pool table and started to dance. She was a woman with a mission, and trust me, you do not want to be her mission.