So, we’re invited to a BBQ at my mum’s coworkers house for Canada Day - nice right?
Except she’s charging us $8 each for meat and we pulled up and apparently it’s a potluck as well?!? Of course we have nothing (other than a bottle of wine) because the twat that invited mum didn’t mention it and who the F charges for the meat and then expects the ‘guests’ to bring the rest of the meal too???
Ugh - at least Junior is napping at the moment so I have an excuse to hang out in the car for a while.
I’m trying to figure out what a mini-go is. Google’s not helping much. Assuming it’s a handheld steamer, then you got yerself the fixin’s for a cheddar soup of sorts. If it’s a moving storage pod, then you should just throw your own BBQ, charge $10 a head+potluck, and pick the best potluck offering to bring to your mom’s co-worker’s. If it’s a small pony…well…guess you don’t have to pay for more meat…
Yeah, around here, that would be considered weird. I’ve never been to a cookout or dinner party that had a cover charge. The polite thing to do is bring a bottle of something, or ask if you can bring a side dish or dessert or whatnot, but it’s not required. If you ever see me throwing a party and asking guests for money, punch me in the face, please.
I grew up understanding that to be invited means please come, free of charge, I would like to see you and I will pay your way. When someone invites you to their home it is polite to ask “is there anything I can bring?” and they might request a special side dish you make or ask you to bring drinks or a dessert.
OK, when did my niece grow enough to have a child, and when did my brother’s family move to Canada?
Those two’s notion of “inviting” someone to a party is to hold it in the grilling range at their pool club; “guests” must pay their own entry fee and bring a dish to share (dishes are assigned by the “inviters”). And they wonder why most people manage to have busy agendas whenever my sister in law’s birthday rolls by, and why children who do not belong to the club also happen to have a previous engagement when the kids’ birthdays take place… (his B-day is barely a blip on the celebrations radar, and only because their eldest started asking “why does Daddy not have a birthday?”)
I’ve been wondering for 12 years what the fuck happened to “inviting someone means the inviter pays”.
In general I agree with this. However, there is a class of party that differs in that. We have lots of “pot-luck”*, BYOB, “open grill” (aka bring your own meat), etc parties around here. Universally however, the nature of the party is clearly communicated to the initial invitees. Any seconday invitees are, of course, at the mercy of the native intelligence/awareness/courtesy of their inviter.**
Down here though, what the OP described is generally referred to as a “bad restaurant”.
There’s actually something approaching a GD here. Pot-luck used to mean “bring food”, lately it seems to mean “bring a side/desert”. Discuss.
**It should also be noted that, in the rare case where the initial was too stupid or too Canadian (;)) to properly communicate to the secondary, the village stepped up and nobody left any hungrier or soberer than they wanted to be.
Exactly. It’s pretty tacky to charge. It’s even perfectly fine to straight up ask for guests to bring the sides I’d say - especially for a decent sized party where the meat charges can rack up quick. As in “we’ll provide all the meats, fixings, drinks and a couple snacks, guests please bring potluck sides to share” but charging AND making everyone bring food is weird. If you cannot afford to provide at least the basics without charging like that, don’t host.
I even talk about how most parties I’ve been to don’t have this weird host-pays-for-everything mentality that more affluent people have. But I’ve never in my life heard of a potluck + pay party. I pay you for your food, but you get mine for free? WTF?
And you sure as hell don’t invite someone without telling them the requirements. I’m honestly surprised the OP is still there. Even in Canada I’d think not helping someone cheat you would be more important than being polite. I mean, I expect fake excuses about why you are leaving, but still leave. At least at a restaurant you can pay for your food without having to bring extra.