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I ran out of gas. I, I had a flat tire. I didn’t have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn’t come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts. IT WASN’T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD.
I had in front of me at the draft 2 pieces of information, Fantasy Football Weekly and ESPN Fantasy Football 2005 guide. I took Culpepper with trepidation, knowing that exactly this situation was going to develop, what I hadn’t counted on was exactly how many RBs would be chose between my first and second picks. I knew I wouldn’t get a Lewis/Davis/Portis/Green type back, but I had my eye on the two Jones, Westbrook, Brown from Tennessee or maybe Martin from the Jets. I figured one of them would be there when my turn came around again, I had all of them queued.
They all went off the boards before it got back around to me, leaving me with no pick and very little time to make one, so I started looking fast. The Broncos have a history of 1000 yard rushers, so I glance in their direction. All I know of the Broncos is that they are the Ravens’ bitch in the playoffs, so I turn to the materials at hand. FFW’s depth charts listed Andreson and Bell as sharing that starting job in Denver, which made sense because Denver does tend to go with a by-committee approach, which lessens the value of any one back, but they run a lot which offsets that somewhat. Cross-referencing to the ESPN guide, I see Bell listed as the #22 RB in the draft. He has their little “on the rise” symbol next to his name, and the text says “Bell is more than capable of reaching the bar that Clinton Portis set in Denver…if he avoids the nicks that plagued him in 2004, he’ll be a star”. Mike Anderson, on the other hand, was nowhere to be found. In fact, I had to look twice before I found him listed at #100. He has the “injury risk” symbol next to his name, and is described thus: “The Broncos still value Anderson for his versatility, but he’s aging and increasingly rickety, and is unlikely to provide more than the occasional TD”. I’m on the clock and I have maybe 30 seconds left at this point. I don’t know these 2 players from Adam, but all of my planned options were gone. Given what I’ve just outlined, which was the sum total of my knowledge at the time, what pick would you have made?
So yes, Bell was not a good pick in the second round, and I’ll have to live with that, but it’s not like I picked his name out of a hat or anything. He was the best pick based upon the (bad) information I had in the limited time at hand during the draft.
As for Barlow and Droughns, I think some of you are going to be surprised. SF sucks, true, but Mike Nolan is coming from a run first team that didn’t have much of an air attack into a situation where he doesn’t have much of a credible air attack either, but has a talented back; he’s revamped the O line for run blocking…most of all ask yourself this: What else is SF gonna do on offense if NOT run, run, run? Cleveland is still the Clowns, every other team’s bitch, but I like Romeo Crennel to keep things simple in his first year which means run, run, run, especially with Dilfer (much as I love him) at QB AND Romeo’s not about to tolerate any off-field nonsense from Suggs or Green, in my estimation this makes Droughns a solid 4th round pick.
On another note, I think we (although I am but a minor one) stat geeks tend to place too much emphasis on who got taken in what round. Suppose I had taken Davis in round 2 and Bell in round 9, would that change anyone’s opinion of my team?( “Davis is a huge reach here, he’s injury prone and DeShaun Foster is breathing down his neck for the starting job”-am I right? 
) Yet it would be the same team I wound up with. Say Omni drafts Kyle Boller in the first round, and for some reason Payton Manning drops to round 14 and Omni grabs him. He’ll still have a great starter and an ok fantasy backup, won’t he? What difference does it make who went where, isn’t the team as a whole going to be the reason anyone wins or loses?
To recap:
So who wants to guess who I started?
Ooh, ooh! I know! McAllister and Jones! What do I win?
Bzzzzzzzz.
Hmmm. Tatum Bell is starting to look better with Anderson likely out, no? Oh ye of little faith!
Bell looked horrible on 12 out of 13 carries (I got to watch the whole damned game, punishment for living in south Florida) including getting stuffed at the line on goal-to-go. Anderson will have his job back by week 3.
Glad to hear it. It’s going to be hard row to hoe if I get 5 yards out of my round 3 pick every week. 
a hard row to hoe :smack:
Thomas Fuckin’ Jones!
Who doubts me?
Regular Season:
-
Varlos’ Zzzzzzz . . . . . . . . 11-3-0 (.786) 1300.49
-
Fourth and Nineteen . . . . 10-4-0 (.714) 1235.98
-
Mundi Morning Blues . . . . 8-6-0 (.571) 1362.26
-
Cedric Benson Busts . . . . 8-6-0 (.571) 1310.80
-
New York Fanboys . . . . . . 8-6-0 (.571) 1247.01
-
BoomGoesTheDynamite . . 8-6-0 (.571) 1212.70
-
Rhinosaurs(neuroman) . . . 8-6-0 (.571) 1211.18
-
Clusterfucks . . . . . . . . . . 8-6-0 (.571) 1159.13
-
Crabby Hermits . . . . . . . . 7-7-0 (.500) 1115.06
-
Feed My Family . . . . . . . 6-8-0 (.429) 1163.24
-
Moridwon . . . . . . . . . . . 6-8-0 (.429) 1136.71
-
Baltimore Weirdos . . . . . 5-9-0 (.357) 1274.32
-
Fightin’ Quakers . . . . . . . 3-11-0 (.214) 1032.47
-
Pentium None . . . . . . . . 2-12-0 (.143) 934.29
Clearly, it doesn’t matter how you draft or whom you start from week to week: what matters is how long your team’s name is. The top 7 teams averaged 18.3 characters per name (including spaces). The bottom 7 teams averaged just 13.3 characters.
Final Standings: -
Mundi Morning Blues
-
Cedric Benson Busts
-
Fourth And Nineteen
-
Varlos’ Zzzzzzz
-
BoomGoesTheDynamite
-
New York Fanboys
-
Rhinosaurs(neuroman)
-
Clusterfucks
-
Crabby Hermits
-
Feed My Family
-
Moridwon
-
Baltimore Wierdos
-
Fightin’ Quakers
-
Pentium None
Mundi’s a little too good at this. Congratulations on the back-to-back titles, but next year you have to give us a handicap (no trades, maximum 2 roster moves; I don’t know, but something).
2006 Draft Order: -
BoomGoesTheDynamite
-
New York Fanboys
-
Rhinosaurs(neuroman)
-
Clusterfucks
-
Pentium None
-
Fightin’ Quakers
-
Baltimore Wierdos
-
Moridwon
-
Feed My Family
-
Crabby Hermits
-
Varlos’ Zzzzzzz
-
Fourth and Nineteen
-
Cedric Benson Busts
-
Mundi Morning Blues
This is right, yes?
Yep, looks right to me. Somebody volunteered to post the final rosters. If we don’t see anything by next Sunday, maybe just everyone post their own.
So I missed the playoffs by, what, 60 points? Gee, did I happen to have a week where I scored 60 points below average? Possibly during the Giants bye week, maybe?
Fuckin’ bye week screwed me outta the top 4. Then again, I’m guaranteed to get Tiki next year, so it’s all good.
Seriously good times this season. Looking forward to someone doing a seasonal recap. If Leftwich hadn’t gotten hurt (or I’d have not gambled on him staying healthy) I think I’d have won this league. Only lost the final game of the season by a few points with Fyre as my starting QB, and was juggling him, Bollinger and Garcia over the final 5 weeks or so. Damn you Mundi, I shall have my vengance!
Don’t think I’m not dreading the prospect of bookending your picks for the entire next draft. I expect that you’ll be ratfucking me on all my sleepers, and I owe it to the rest of the league to screw you just as many times to give everyone else a chance.
So can we just start next year’s draft now? Alexander goes first to Boom, then Tiki, then LT to neuroman…
I would like to note the particular accomplishments of the Baltimore Weirdos, who managed to finish 12th out of 14 despite scoring the fourth most points in the league. Heck, he oustscored me and finished five games behind me in the standings.
I’d feel bad for him, but then I look at his keepers for next year - Gates in the 8th and Larry Johnson in the 7th(!). Ouch.
I figure either he or Boom has got to be the early favorite for next year - Boom’s got the top pick, plus Carson Palmer in the 8th and Lamont Jordan in the 3rd. I’m sure there are other good keeper crops out there, but those two worry me the most.
Me, I’ve got Philip Rivers potentially in the 14th round… sigh.
Granted LJ lit up the Giants (and everybody else he faced) this year, but for some inexplicable reason I can’t help but feel like he’s going to pull a Julius Jones.
Compare what and how Jones did last year to what and how Johnson did this year…it’s practically a carbon copy. But Jones this year? Crushing disappointment.
Then again, for the 7th round, LJ will be the bestest player anybody will ever see.
New York Fanboys final roster:
QB E. Manning (9th round pick)
WR P. Burress (6th rounder, trade from Baltimore Weirdos.)
WR A. Toomer (12th round pick)
[del]RB T. Barber[/del] (1st round pick)
[del]RB J. Sowell[/del] (free agent)
TE J. Shockey (4th round pick)
W/R L. Coles (3rd round pick)
BN J. McCareins (14th round pick)
[del]BN C. Martin[/del] (2nd round pick)
[del]BN W. Ponder[/del] (free agent)
[del]BN T. Carter[/del] (free agent)
[del]BN D. Ward[/del] (free agent)
K J. Feely (7th round pick)
[del]BN M. Nugent[/del] (released and re-signed)
DEF New York Giants (8th round pick)
[del]BN New York Jets[/del] (released and re-signed)
Players not eligible to be keepers have been [del]struck out[/del], along with the reason they are ineligible. Players eligible for keeper status are followed with their draft round, how many times they’ve been kept before, and how acquired if I didn’t draft them. I also bolded the keepers that look promising. (Only three allowed, IIRC.)
If memory serves, you can only keep players drafted in rounds 3 or later, since keepers bump up two rounds for next year.
Pentium None final roster:
[del]QB P. Manning[/del] (1st round pick)
WR C. Chambers (5th round pick)
WR J. Horn (3rd round pick)
[del]RB D. Foster[/del] (2nd round pick)
RB M. Faulk (4th round pick)
TE C. Cooley (10th round pick)
[del]W/R K. Robinson[/del] (free agent)
[del]BN W. Welker[/del] (free agent)
[del]BN B. Watson[/del] (free agent)
BN N. Burleson (11th round pick) - kept last year
BN T. Taylor (14th round pick)
BN J. Bettis (7th round pick) - kept last year
BN B. Roethlisberger (12th round pick) - kept last year
[del]K R. Lindell[/del] (free agent)
[del]DEF Tennessee[/del] (free agent)
[del]BN St. Louis[/del] (free agent)
Fightin’ Quakers final roster:
QB D. Garrard
WR M. Muhammad (8th round pick) - kept last year
WR L. Fitzgerald (5th round pick)
RB F. Gore (10th round pick)
RB M. Bennett (3rd round pick)
TE H. Miller (9th round pick)
W/R S. Smith (4th round pick)
[del]BN M. McMahon[/del] (free agent)
[del]BN K. Holcomb[/del] (free agent)
[del]BN T. Thompson[/del] (free agent)
BN Ma. Jones (11th round pick)
BN R. Brown (3rd rounder, trade from Moridwon)
BN J. Arrington (3rd rounder, trade from Cedrick Benson Busts)
BN R. Dayne (13th round pick)
[del]K N. Kaeding[/del] (free agent)
DEF Arizona (14th round pick)
Wow, these are labor intensive. I’ll probably keep chipping away at them, going from bottom up in the standings. Feel free to add your own team! hehheh.
Keeping Droughns for a 2nd round pick is the debate I’m having with myself right now. Fortunately, I have a whole off season to decide. His numbers are down because he didn’t score but 2 TDs all year, which is not what you’d expect from a back with over 1700 total yards. If he’d scored, say, 8 TDs (not unreasonable for a 1700 yard back, I don’t think), he’d have finished the year with 210 fantasy points making him the 8th most productive RB in our league, and that would be worth a 2nd round pick I think.
My Final Eligible Keepers, with round taken:
R. Wayne (round 4, kept last year)
D. Mason (round 5)
E. Moulds (round 7)
J. Delhomme (round 8)
Mike Williams (round 9)
Atlanta DEF (round 10)
B. Stiokley (round 12, kept last year)
P. Rivers (round 16).
The rest of my final roster were FAs plus my top two picks.
It’s eminently possible I’ll keep no-one. Brees getting hurt in the last game means that SD might keep Rivers as a backup plan. I guess he might still be worth keeping in the 14th. Williams has been a major disappointment; can’t see using a 7th on him. Reggie’s good, but not 17th overall pick good. I guess Delhomme in 6 is possible.
Also, am I correct that you cannot use a 1st round pick on a keeper? Effectively meaning that 3rd round picks last year cannot be kept?
I wouldn’t be at all surprised if Larry Johnson is the consensus #2 pick behind Alexander next year. His last 8 games were incredible… over 1200 yards and 15 touchdowns.
Really? On my boards I have him as a 7th round pick. 