Yay! I have a disease!

I am happy to announce that I can now join the ranks of the self diagnosed “I have a cool new disease” club. Yes, that’s right. I’ll see your Asperger’s and raise you a Misophonia.

Do you suffer from “stress” when your husband drums his fingers on the table?
You may have Misophonia!

Do your wife’s hiccups cause you anxiety?
You may have Misophonia!

When a gangsta rapper repeatedly asks “y’ know whut um sayin’?” do you want to beat him to a pulp?
You may have Misophonia!

It's time for us Misophoniacs to stand up and demand our rights! 

  1.  We demand that all ticking clocks be outlawed because it makes us nervous.

  2.  We want reserved parking close to the entrance of stores because the repetetive tapping of our shoes on the pavement causes anxiety.

  3.  The words Hi Opal will henceforth become a felony.

  4.  Songs that repeat the word "love" more than three times in a row shall be banned from the airwaves.

  5.  Anyone attempting to open a cellophane bag in a movie theater will be charged with a crime against humanity.

  6. The murder of anyone who whistles, hums, or sings off key will be a misdemeanor.

Fellow Misophobiacs unite! Join me in demanding our rights as a handicapped minority! (But no chanting please.  It makes me stabby).

No chanting? Well, can I at least sing a bar of Alice’s Restaurant?

Cool! I have hypertonia, which sounds like some sort of time traveling utopian metropolis.

Okay, but no finger snapping or foot tapping.

Sounds more like ‘crowded rat cage’ syndrome. When you are surrounded by people you end up getting mild social anxiety, and things begin to ‘bother’ you.

Big meh, soon going to be the next over-self-diagnosed problem like ADD/ADHD/Aspergers.

So how will businesses have to ‘accomodate’ people, give everybody their own littlesound proofed womb-offices?

This needs to happen.

Ticking clocks make me crazy, and I don’t even have anyone buried beneath my floorboards.

so you would have us believe :dubious:

I’ll join the movement–I’ve been a not-so-closeted misophoniac for years. My father noisily eats with his mouth open. Drives me crazy. One of the partners here whistles all the time. Drives me crazy. (It doesn’t help that his favorites seem to be various earworms.) Chewing gum disgusts me. (Actually, it disgusts me in general, but I can more or less tolerate it so long as you keep it in your mouth, keep your mouth shut, and chew quietly.)

Elect me dictator, and the world will be a much more peaceful place!

I came down with a terrible case of misanthropy when I was a small child. Doctors say it is chronic and there is no cure. Stress and sleep deprivation tend to aggravate it.

There’s a woman at work who’s nervous laugh makes me nuts - does that count?

OK - I think this should be a capital offense in any and all circumstances. I don’t need to have a disease to know that.

Also - I am driven nuts by my husband’s chewing. I am sure he has nothing negative to say about any of my habits or actions.

I’ve noticed that grocery shopping is much more enjoyable with headphones on (attached to my phone and playing music I enjoy). I don’t even have to take them off for checkout, because of self-checkout. Maybe you can just wear headphones as much as possible? I strongly recommend noise-canceling earbuds for any situation where human interaction is not required. Well, except at the movies of course.

Irregular yet constant sounds drive me nuts. People chewing gum or with mouth open makes me want to strangle them. A ticking clock doesn’t bother me at all. A fan that intermittently ticks or rattles or squeaks makes me want to scream and I will take up inordinate amounts of time to make it stop. If it just makes some sort of regular, predictable noise (the motor, sound of fan blades, even a mild out of balance ticking, as long as it’s regular like a clock), no problem.

This has a name? For me, alarms drive me crazy and lyrics repeated more that three times in a row. It goes beyond mere annoyance. It sometimes makes me want to scream, cry, or destroy the thing making the noise.

Wait, so now I have Myopia, Dystonia *and *Misphonia ? Then if I can just catch Dyslexia I could also have Myphonia, Mistonia and Dysphobia. I apparently already live in a Dystopia (not Ethiopia). I’m not sure I can copia.

If you get dyscalculia after all that then I think you get disease bingo!

One sound I really dislike is raspy voices. The rattle scratchy sound somehow weak and irritating, like literally they’re irritating their throat, and it drives me nuts.

I was sitting in a very slowly moving, if it moved at all, train the other day. During the whole journey there was someone passing the time by playing some game, I think, on his mobile. And the key click function was set to “on”.

My god. There’s a name for it. Snapping, rhythmic sounds (think the kit kat commercials) cause such a visceral horrible feeling in me. Tapping fingers, crunching of chips, any repetitive, staccato sounds. Eating noises? Don’t even go there.

I mostly deal with it, but sometimes I have to remove myself or change the channel. IMMEDIATELY. When that damn kit kat commercial is on.

Misophonia? Me so sorry.