Yeah! I got my first gig!

A couple days ago I sold my keyboard and bought this bass, and not two days later I was informed by a friend that he was starting a band. I told him to give me a month to learn to play bass for real, but that I could do punk stuff whenever. He said that was cool, and so now I’m in this as-yet-unnamed band.

Now I’m informed that in about 2 months time, we have a gig playing at a school, and a few days after that at a local coffee shop/youth hangout/music venue.

So everyone sing it with me…

Lu-cky is… a punk rocker! Lu-cky is… a punk rocker!

Hehe, 3 days and I’m already a professional bassist (well, I’m getting paid to do it…)


How lucky! I am happy for you. I would play the bass(just to play 'Cebo songs), but I tried learning to play an acoustic and I hated it. I guess I am stuck with the piano.

Good luck! Practice, practice, practice! :slight_smile:

Im sure you can already play better than Sid Vicious…

And whadda ya mean “stuck with” the piano…The piano Rules…
Instruments you can carry without a forklift are for wimps…

The world needs more good bassists, I’ll tell you that! As a drummer, I’m always able to find at least three guitarists at any given point to jam with. I have never played drums with anyone who has had much experience with a bass. It sucks! Kudos to you, my friend, and may I recommend that you go buy a couple Vic Wooten/Bela Fleck cd’s as well? :slight_smile:

Good Luck!

Many many congratulations! Pretty bass! I play that and the piano, and hopefully one day I’ll get to be really good :slight_smile:

Hope you guys play wonderfully at the gigs!

I will not make bass player jokes…I will not make bass player jokes…I will not make bass player jokes…

Why do bass players leave thier strings packages on thier dash?

So they can park in handicap parking

ooh ooh! Please do! Ooh!

BTW- my name suggestion for the band would be some alternate spelling of “Curiosity Closet”.

That comes from pre-revolution France, where the aristocracy would gather collections of the most bizarre, macabre and otherwise amazing collections. When one entertained guests, you would show them your “Curiosity Closet” and hope to have a scarier collection than others. That’s such a cool concept… good band name.


Q : What you call a bass player who just broke up with his girlfriend…
A : Homeless.
Q : What does the average bass player get on an IQ test?
A : Drool.
Q : Did you hear about the drummer who locked his keys in his car?
A : It took him 2 hours to get the bass player out.
Q : Why is a bass solo like a sneeze?
A : You can tell it’s coming, but you can’t do anything about it.
Q : How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A : Twenty, one to hold the bulb, and nineteen to drink until the room spins.

A bass player and drummer are engaged in a heated argument when the singer comes over and asks what on earth is going on.
“Well”, said the bass player, he has just detuned one of my strings.
“So what is the problem?”, replies the singer.
“He won’t tell me which one it was”.
A man gives his son an electric bass for his 15th birthday, along with a coupon for four bass lessons. When the son returns from his first lesson, the father asks, “So, what did you learn?” “Well, I learned the first five notes on the E string.” Next week, after the second lesson, the father again asks about the progress, and the son replies, “This time I learned the first five notes on the A string.” One week later, the son comes home far later than expected, smelling of cigarettes and beer. So the father asks: “Hey, what happened in today’s lesson?” “Dad, I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to my lesson; I had a gig!”

Q : How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?

A : None, They let the keyboard player do it with his left hand

This guy goes on vacation to a tropical island. As soon as he gets off the plane, he hears drums. He thinks “Wow, this is cool.” He goes to the beach, he hears the drums, he eats lunch, he hears drums, he goes to a luau, he hears drums. He tries to go to sleep, yet he hears drums.

This goes on for several nights, and gets to the point where the guy can’t sleep at night because of the drums. Finally, he goes down to the front desk.

When he gets there, he asks the manager, “Hey! What’s with these drums. Don’t they ever stop? I can’t get any sleep.”

The manager says, “No! Drums must never stop. It’s very bad if drums stop.”


“When drums stop…bass solo begins.”

Heh. There’s so many to choose from. :slight_smile: Of course, most of them are frequently changed from drummer to bassist to guitarist depending on who is telling the joke.

Here’s my personal favorite:

A man visits a tropical island on his vacation. As he steps ashore, he hears a rhythmic drumming off in the distance. It continues for some time, so he stops a native and asks “What’s the drumming for?” The native freezes, a look of terror fills his eyes and he says “Very bad when drumming stop.” The native then hurries away.

The man is rather perplexed by this, but continues on. 15 minutes later the drumming is still going on, so he stops another native. “What happens when the drumming stops?” he asks. The native shivers in fear and says, “Very bad when drumming stops.” Then he faints.

The man begins to get worried. Whatever happens when the drumming stops must be terrible, and no one will tell him what it is. So when he sees another native, he grabs him, slams him up against a tree and screams “What happens when the drumming stops!?!?”

The panicked native looks at him, chokes down his fear and says…

“Bass solo.”


Okay, maybe it’s not that great, but I like it.

Have fun with the gig. I played in a band in high school, and even though we weren’t any good, it was a hell of a lot of fun. The good thing about the bass is that you can literally start playing right away without even needing to understand the principles behind what you are playing. Of course, you should learn that all that as time passes, but you can still jump right in and start playing.


Oh, dude, you’re killing me over here! Oh man, the one about the kids bass lessons hits home… man. Hehehe.

Also, the keyboard one, considering that I sold mine to buy the bass.

Hoo boy. Thanks man, good stuff.

::wipes away laughter tear::

So, you seem to know all the band jokes, what instrument do you play?


Ha!..I beat you to it

P.S. - Rossarian, I do understand the basics of music, as I played keyboard for around a year, it’s just a matter of learning how to make the notes on the bass, and then applying that. That’s why I figured I could be a decent bass player inside of a month.

Keyboard, piano, Hammond organ, and synth. Blues Harp, and some mandolin/violin.

My old band I did the web page for, and one of the things I put on the website was a monster collection of musician jokes. I have a ton of them stashed somewhere. All my bandmates started bitching cause there were no keyboard player jokes. I challenged them to find some. For some reason, keyboard is the most neglected instrument when it comes to musician jokes. Theres a few out there, but all the ones I found sucked.

Sorry if it sounded bad, it wasn’t meant to be a put-down or anything. Just saying in general that the bass allows anyone to start playing right away, as long as that person can count frets.

Because of that though, it’s very easy to tell a good bassist from a bad bassist. Good bassists seem to be much harder to come by than good guitar players. You should pick it up quick, and your keyboard experience should help you to quickly branch out beyond just playing the root note of whatever chord the guitar player happens to be on. Our bass player did that too much sometimes. It gets old.

Some of the most fun that I ever had was playing in a blues band with a bass player who only knew how to play Dee Dee Ramone style bass lines. It was just the root note played very fast, but behind some really fast blues it sounded great. Damn I miss that band.

I’ve heard all those jokes. From my husband, a professional guitar player (and a really effing great bass player too, I might add). The bass-player-without-a-girlfriend one was the first joke he ever told me, except he replaced it with “guitar player.”

Oh, and he told it to me a week after he moved in with me. Because if I hadn’t let him move in, he would have been homeless. I laughed so hard I cried. :smiley:

The “now comes bass solo” joke is my husband’s favorite bass player joke, too. :smiley:

One of my personal faves, though, is a lead guitar player joke:

Q: How do you get a lead guitarist to turn down?
A: Put sheet music in front of him.

Congratulations, Lucki. I always wished I would have gotten a bass instead of my guitar.

Oi!!! No More Bass Player Jokes!!


Best of luck Luckii, after all, these other musicians are just jealous. remember, if you turn down the vocals and the lead guitar, people will still dance :wink: