Nah, I was a nice guy before this thread; now I’m a narcissistic douchebag asshole drama queen stealth-bragging guy who is not assertive enough, except when I am, in which case I’m a womanizing dirtbag as well.
You could have saved us the trouble and just put this in your OP.
Wow, seriously. First you complain that Lauren isn’t fucking you (just the occasional hand job). Now she’s fucking you and you decide to go with Mary because she’s obviously a better person… because she’s not fucking you. Which one do you want, again?
I’d actually forgotten all about that nonsense, damn you! But no, I was still on board at that point because I thought there was still hope.
This. Cuckoorex, your Madonna/Whore complex is loathsome.
Mary isn’t necessarily a better person than Lauren; she’s got less baggage but I’m not interested in her or think that she’s better because we’re not fucking. You people are overstating the “madonna” aspect here; Mary is definitely not a virgin and she probably has at least a dirtier sense of humor than me.
As cor what I really want; I wasn’t sure before, but I think I want something like what is going on with Lauren at the moment, because I was unhappy being just friends but I am not looking to settle down and get married either. So I think I’m just looking for a like-minded woman.
I can’t wait to see what this thread is like in ten years. I have a feeling it will still be going strong and we’ll be talking about some new barflies (and the old ones, too, I’m sure) that Cuckoorex is still trying to talk into tugging his junk.
I know someone who went through exactly the same thing as Cuckoorex. The indecision, the self-doubt, the drama.
Thankfully it all ended by the time he finished junior high.
So Quelnor of Tartaka still isn’t returning my calls, and talking to her hive-mates, I think she’s gone back to her home planet to build an egg deposit. I just found out that Janet is a cyborg, which is why she won’t stay over - she needs to recharge - and I feel somewhat betrayed that she hadn’t told me this before. On the other hand, not only is Karen a clone, but there is the possibility of a threesome, or even up to a a sevensome, if only I can talk them into it.
What should I do?
Welcome to the Dope, SPASM.
Nice name, I’m surprised it hadn’t already been taken.
This is the funniest thing I’ve read all month.
It is pretty funny, I agree. 
You killed it.
Hahahahaha! He can’t catch a break.
LOL I catch more breaks than I deserve anyway.
Can we go back to the haikus? I loved the haikus. 
ugh, not funny in the least. I’m pretty sure I’ve taken responsibility for my actions and the results thereof. Unlike this guy, who is making excuses for everything that he is doing and the results of these actions.
At least that is what I choose to believe… 
Curses! **Cuckoorex ** is once again rejected. 
I get rejected when I lead with the whiney artist who really wants love part of me.
Ya know, I do realize I’ve been using this thread like a blog or livejournal, and I know that opens me up to hecklers and criticism. Diowhateverhernameis is right, whatever I put out here is fair game. But ya know, it’s not like I go around talking about any of this, to strangers or friends or family. I write about it here mainly for two reasons; one, I’m pretty sure there’s only two people on this board that know me personally, and two, the heckling and snark and all that is coming from people that I don’t know anyway; they might be right or wrong, but ultimately it doesn’t matter. The people who keep saying I must be really bothered by the haters to keep responding to them; I don’t expect to ever convince you otherwise, but you just don’t know me. My reasons for responding to these posts are my own, I don’t expect you to understand. But I’d also really appreciate it if you stopped pretending like you DO understand, and how you’re oh so much better; that’s actually more pathetic than me using a message board to vent.
I was actually going to post an update, but I’m pretty sure no one reading this would believe it anyway, so I won’t.