Yeah. It's true. But the creator never intended it.

Left Hand of Dorkness, please give a link to the Monte Cook article. I googled it, and news grouped it, and only found that it is on his blog and his website. I can’t search the blog, or his site, since I get a message saying that the search is down, and while his blog is well written, I would rather not read thre years of entries to find it.

Anyone else interest here is the links I found:
http://p222.ezboard.com/fokayyourturnfrm11.showMessage?topicID=169.topic
http://www.montecook.com/montejournal
http://www.livejournal.com/users/montecook/

Oh, so this is just another example of my Number One SDMB Pet Peeve, the OP that is so badly written, muddle-headed or just plain loopy that absolutely nobody can make head or tail of what is wanted in response. And then the OP comes back and blames the responders.

You think you’re angry? I’m going to go bite the head off a whippet.

Exapno, I immediately knew what it meant. Maybe we’re just like-minded crazy, or something. Or maybe I just like being snarky to movies in this particular fashion, and think about it a lot when I watch movies (to my wife’s amusement and exasperation).

Plaid, unfortunately, it’s been years since I read that article, and his website has undergone a redesign since then; I have no idea where to find it. Sorry!

I’ll try to remember more.

Daniel

I am so demoralized. Next you’ll be telling me that there are no Cylons, that Tinkerbell isn’t real, and that Santa isn’t Billy Bob Thornton.

I spoke too soon: Gilligan’s Descent into Madness. Enjoy!

Daniel

Psst–

Pink, to play along at home, you gotta treat the show in question as if it’s nonfiction, and extrapolate. If you treat it like fiction, it’s no fun.

Daniel

Okay, one more, this one about the game World of Warcraft. It won’t make sense if you’ve not played it; I wrote it a couple months ago for their messageboard.

Daniel

OK. Sorry to have been inept. The Force is not with me today.

Good riddance, one of those stupid dogs play-fought with me, against my will, so hard that it tore my skin when I was a kid. The world could be a far better place without those spooky skinny dogs.

P.s. as a guest I am unable to search. Please refer me to post you have made about pet peeves. It does no one any good to be upset.

p.s. L.H.D., that made such perfect sense that it was scary. Thank you. But please, more funny stories everyone.

Another example of the topic would be

[http://www.mjyoung.net/time/army.html](this webpage) , which attempts to work out temporal anomalies with stories lines of movies such as “Army of Darkness”

In addition, there is the story “Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?”

Note, just saw Lefties Warcraft story. A bug, made into a depressing philosophical point. Perfect!

The important question that we’re all missing here is, “Can we have sex with them?” I mean, that’s all that really counts, right?

Slash fanfic writers make a pretty good case, so whither you are male or female, the answer to the above is yes. At least for my next example. I don’t care to speculate on the example you are talking about with SWs humanoid aliens. You, E-Sabbath, can have sex with Jean-Luke Picard.

We can extrapolate reason why he speaks with an english accent instead of either
picard or his native french. The explanation that a british actor would have no interest in speaking in a faux french accent has no appeal to me, so I decided that he is speaking french, and that a universal translator he had set up speaks english with an english accent. I could never decide wither he did this because he thought that english sounded cooler, or he was to lazy and smug of a git to learn english, and the default mode on the translator is english accented. Here are some simpler explanations from usenet discussions:

"Or yet another stupid explanation (sp?)…Picard learned English (or
Standard or whatever) from an English person and adapted that accent. Heck
, when I was in Israel I was surprised to hear many Israelies and Arabs
speaking with an English accent. When I asked them about it they told me
that they learned English from watching movies and tv: programs being piped
in from ENGLAND (not America). I found that kind of amusing.

                    -wendy "

"Here’s my theory: (oh, no, another theory-- run for your lives.)

The european community (maybe the world?) adpots english as its standard
language to communicate with the rest of the world, because of its
predominance in global communication.

So, basically, everyone speaks their own language, plus english.

Then:

Since France is geographically near England (no doubt linked by many tunnels,
high-speed shuttles, etc at this point), the english the French speak is
british english. Hence the british accent.

This also fits into the names of the Picards:

“Louis” in “Family” was Lew-iss, not lou-ie. English pronunciation. But the
Picards, Jean-Luc, Rene, and Robert, are french names. Why? And why is Robert
ro-bair (Except for the one time when Jean-Luc slips and calls him raw-bert,
perhaps as a taunt)–

Simple. Picard’s father was, obviously, a traditionalist. He wanted to keep
all things french. So he pronounced the boys’ names in the french way, and
gave his second son the name Jean-Luc just so there would be no hiding that he
was french.

Make sense? I hope so.


Jason Snell / jsn…@ucsd.edu / University of California, San Diego
“The more I think, the less I’ve got to say about these poison years.”
–Bob Mould"

I realize some other possibilities have beeen introduced…including the very sensible “It’s fiction, get over it”. But if we’re going to take it seriously, well…I have to ask, why are you assuming it could only be that humans colonies other planets. And not the other way round? Perhapes Luke’s great-great-great-great ( and so on) grandson Space Commander Adam and Leia’s great-great-great (well you get the idea) grandaughter Communications Officer Eve were some how stranded on a indifferent sort of planet on the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy, couldn’t they have been, in fact been the introduction of human life on Earth?

(Hmmm…I think I just referenced Star Trek, Star War, the Bible, and Douglas Adams all in one post. I think I should win some sort of SDMB award.)

Only if he was prepared.

Missed one. So close…

Daniel

betenoir, I grant you the official “I-have-nothing-to-say-so-here-is-bunny-with-a-pacake-on-it’s-head Award” and…
Wait just a damned minute! I throw the award in the corner, where the bunny begins to nibble on the pancake which has finally fallen off, after a long time of waiting. Ewwwww, incest. You just totally added something to the biblical conception of earth, since Luke and Leia are brother and sister.

Wait, no, you didn’t. See Gen.4:17 And Cain knew his wife; and she conceived, and bare Enoch: and he builded a city, and called the name of the city, after the name of his son, Enoch. and then extrapolate which of Cain’s unnamed sisters must have been his wife.

That is unless the account of the first man is incorrect, and there were actually other tribes around.

http://hometown.aol.com/lazey007/images/pancake%20bunny.jpg

http://www.creepo.net/images/oolong_desktop.jpg

The writters narrowly dodged one on Stargate * 8.15 “Citizen Joe”

Seven years ago, Joe—a happily married middle-class father—picked up an odd-looking stone marked with strange glyphs at a garage sale. Ever since, he has been seeing visions of a top-secret Air Force unit commanded by Jack O'Neill, who leads a team through an ancient portal called the Stargate.   

What has happend to O’ neil durring this time?

He’s been having visions of parts of the life of a barber in Indiana for 7 years and never mentioned it to anyone. Why didn’t he try and get rid of them? Because they were relaxing. After all, he gets shot at daily, but he can just have visions of an ordinary life. It makes perfect sense, and it’s a good throw-away line.

Star Wars… yeah, no argument there. The OP is spot on.

I knew they were aliens practically from the second I laid eyes on them. It’s one of those truths so huge and all-encompassing that it is never spoken aloud, only echoing its whispered message between the moist fissures of the brain in the small hours of the night when our resistance is at its weakest. Another age, another galaxy. Convergent evolution. In a universe of near-infinite size, vanishingly unlikely coincidences become a certainty over time. The signs are there for those with eyes to see. A population of super-white colonists, on a desert world under a double sun, with nary a trace of melanoma nor peeled skin? As someone who has lived in Florida for years, I can tell you just how unlikely that is.

Humans, in our relatively short time here on Earth, have managed to drive the overwhelming majority of Pleistocene megafauna to extinction, including numerous species of predators and in all likelihood competing subspecies of hominid as well. In comparison, these ‘long ago, far away’ humanoids seem to have a Leo Buscaglia-like warmth and tolerance for alien species. Even the apparently exclusionary Galactic Empire at its most rapacious seems not to mind employing alien agents to enforce its policies when need arises. And when push comes to shove, who in the saga comes across as the most visibly competent? The wisest of sages is a tiny green alien…the most feared of crime lords is a bloated, legless alien…the admiral in charge of the victorious force in the ultimate military battle is an amphibious alien. And yet none of these displays any unequivocally superior merits that would automatically preclude them being almost instantly slaughtered and ground into aphrodisiacs by any self-respecting band of Homo sapiens.

At this point, it’s hardly worth mentioning the wholly incredible defeat of these technologically advanced, fearsomely armed “humans” by a marauding pack of obese koalas with sticks. Any genuine human subgroup in the history of Earth, armed only with string, could have emerged victorious from such a combat. Elderly, snowblind Eskimos who had never even seen a tree in their lives could have handily defeated them. These guys, on the other hand, had to rely on the completely accidental side-effects of the Death Star II explosion to finally eradicate the Ewok menace. If the Endor Holocaust hadn’t finally ended the threat, it seems plain that the vastly more competent Ewoks would have probably managed to wrest control of the Galaxy away from these so-called “humans” within a few generations at best.

It’s therefore worth hypothesizing: if not actual humans, what are they? We don’t, we cannot, know. Even their basic biological parameters must remain a mystery to us. We have not had the opportunity to observe their reproductive practices in detail. They could be marsupials… * They could lay eggs.* We can’t even know their physical dimensions for a certainty, having no basis for comparison. They could be giants by our standards, deceptively agile in a lesser gravity field. Or they could be infinitely smaller than us, acting out their epic adventures on ‘planets’ no larger than a grain of dust. For all we know, these stories could all focus on the affairs of spacefaring, egg-laying dust mites.

Yeah…that was fun.

I wonder what the writers of Star Trek: Voyager thought they were doing when they wrote the episode “Threshold,” which more than any other episode of any Trek series that I can remember (and perhaps not coincidentally, this is around the time when I stopped going out of my way to watch episodes), seems to go out of its way to undermine the entire philosophy of the franchise. So, humanity’s grand adventure of discovery turns out to be competely pointless, since the ultimate destiny of humanity is to revert to mindless amphibian status, and we only get there faster if we try to break the transwarp barrier. It’s like the writers bet themselves that they could write a whole episode around that one joke from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Fantastic responce. More then I hoped for when I started the topic. On a related subject, I typed in threshold into tvtome and found a description of a yet to be made tv show.

http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/ShowMainServlet/showid-32983/

Welcome to the Threshold guide at TV Tome.

Threshold," from producers David Heyman and David Goyer. “Threshold,” written by Bragi Schut, revolves around a female government contingency analyst who leads a team of scientists and military personnel who get in contact with a mysterious alien lifeform. “Blade” writer/director Goyer is on board to direct the Paramount Network TV pilot. He also will exec produce with Heyman, producer of the “Harry Potter” movies. Schut is co-exec producing with Mark Rosen.

Show Information 		

First Aired September 2005
Status New Series (Pilot Ordered)
Running Time 60 min
Country United States
Network CBS

February 14, 2005

  Casting News!

  Charles S. Dutton ("Roc") is the first to be cast in the drama pilot, about a female government contingency analyst who leads a team of scientists and military personnel to respond to the threat of a mysterious alien lifeform. No details were given about his character in the project, which comes from Paramount Network Television and executive producers David Goyer, David Heyman, Bragi Schut, Mark Rosen and Brannon Braga.

"Someone somewhere went to sleep and dreamed us all alive.
“Dreams get kicked around a lot and I doubt if we’ll survive.
We won’t get to wake up, dreams were made to dissapear,
And i’m pretty sure that none of us are here.”

Well, I just read the description of this episode and it brought back some horrible memories. It also gave me another example. Let’s say that the Captain was to make an honorable women of Seven, stop living in sin and finally get married. (As I would expect that marriage is marriage by that time) Let’s say they have kids. For the kids family tree chart in kindergarten, the tykes will have to list, “Half brothers/sisters, unnamed highly evolved lizard/human things on an unknown planet.” Sure, it’s more likely that their mother wouldn’t tell them about that time she got it on with a man, so I guess it would go on their family trees after all, but it would still be true.

I like it. I was thinking the last line might flow a little better if it were:

And I’m pretty sure that none of us were ever really here.

Sorry, maybe I’m out of line kibitzing. If so, please accept my apologies. :slight_smile: