Great. The thread title keeps making me think of the phrase “Straight Pope Message Board.”
Well sure it’s up to the individual. Come out, or not. Big deal. None of my business, none of yours.
But still, c’mon! I can be curious. My vibes say gay. So what if it’s none of my business? My vibes still say gay, gay, gay! I’m not trying to force anyone out of the closet. I don’t care if Esprix gets a date. I saw him first! 
He’s on TV. He’s at the top of his career. I’m sure he could give a rat’s ass what I think. I can still speculate. What, you never gossiped about someone? Well, excuse me. Here’s my Pope ring. You deserve it more than I!
No, wait. Give it back a sec. You’re all excommunicated! There, now you can take it.
I still think he just has to be gay. Apparently not. Thus, this thread. If it’s a waste of your time, don’t waste my time telling me it’s a waste of your time. Nyah.
Is it John Madden you’re talking about?
He’s pretty flamboyent!
No, I’m betting John Ritter.
Every bone in Pepe Le Pew’s intuitive little noggin’ said ma cherie l’amour when he met the kitty cat, too.
But nobody done no harm by speculatin’… 
Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen? Good guess, but no. Not him.
Professor X the X-Man comic book character? He was straight. The character in the movie? You mean Patrick Stewart? I’ve speculated about him & he got married not too long ago. Wasn’t thinking about him tho.
Dr. Phil? No, not him.
Not John Madden.
Not John Ritter.
Pepe Le Pew? Now there was a stud!
Sir Doris said, "I can think of a few that probably seem gay to everyone, including me, but aren’t. "
Your name does nothing to dispell that myth.
I have a girlfriend from grade school who I recently came back in contact with via Classmates. She told me she’s a lesbian, and when I acted surprised, she couldn’t believe that I didn’t know it already. Then I started thinking back to high school. I never knew her to have a boyfriend, and she was a bit less “girly” than the other girls, but I never put it together that she was gay. I just don’t put all that much thought into it. There’s at least one guy at work here who I “think” is gay, but what do I care???
You’re gay only if you have sex with the same sex exclusively. If a man occasionally has sex with women, he is bisexual. If you never have sex with anybody, then your sexuality, such as it is, is moot.
Being “flamboyent” doesn’t make someone gay. Neither does liking fashion, interior decoration, “arty” movies, wine, or the opera. Being effete doesn’t make a man gay. Being faintly masculine doesn’t make a woman a lesbian. Hell, I don’t think even getting aroused by gay porn makes someone “gay.”
Nope, I think it’s best to judge people by their actions, not their thoughts and emotions, which are private. If a man lives his whole life married to a woman but with gay fantasies that he never acted on, then he wasn’t gay. He was just a guy with some gay fantasies who lived his life as a straight.
But I doubt the above happens much in this day and age.
Lizard, I have to disagree with you. There are a lot of people on the SDMB who classify themselves as gay and have NEVER had sex. Who am I to second guess them? It isn’t the act…it’s the attraction.
I don’t agree with that. Are you saying a virgin doesn’t have a sexual orientation until they have sex?
I think you are what you are, regardless of your behavior & actions. In the case of gays, sometimes it takes a lot longer to come to the realization, or to admit it to themself. Most older gays I’ve talked to who were married & raised families before “coming out” said in retrospect, they were always gay. Due to various reasons, they just never gave it enough consideration until later in life.
Now the guy I’m talking about in this thread. He seems too happy & well adjusted to be a repressed closet case who hasn’t figured it out yet. If my instincts are right, then his wife is just the hollywood “beard” you hear about. Or, he’s a bisexual who just strikes me as gay.
If I’m totally wrong, so be it. I agree being flamboyant doesn’t make you anything other than flamboyant. Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen is a good example.
But this guy I’m talking about, he just really sets off my gay vibes. It’s kinda like “dude, you know too much.” Maybe he was raised in the wild by a gang of flaming queens.
Thoughts that popped into my head as I read this:
[ul][li]Kinsey Scale[/li][li]Sexual orientation[/li][li]Sexual behavior[/li][li]Gender identity[/li][li]Gender social roles[/li][li]Biological gender[/li][li]The differences between them[/ul][/li]
Take from that what you will.
Esprix
I have an “issue” with this with the “girls” at work. Quite possibly, they are “baiting” me because I have made my feelings clear on their (my perception) homophobia … I try not to make a judgement.
“Cheri, is (so and so) gay?”
I don’t know. (so and so) has never discussed their sexuality with me.
“But, don’t YOU THINK they are GAY?”
I just said, I DON’T KNOW. ALSO, why is it any of our business? Should (so and so) ever tell me they are gay, I will be sure to tell you. Until they choose to DO so, I don’t consider it any of my business. Or yours, for that matter.
Sigh…sometimes I just wish I could make a living from home.
IOW, why is it any business if this person, whoever it is, is gay?
Any of OUR business, of course. :rolleyes:
It’s not any of our business. We’re just nosey & gossipy & we’re not the “mean spirited out 'em & lynch 'em” types. We’re more the good natured busy body “nosey out 'em cause we have nothing better to do & we know someone who’d be perfect for you” types.
Ok, I don’t know which is worse. I’m just nosey that way. So sue me!
Of COURSE, nosy is better than mean spirited.
No contest.
[sub]But sometimes it is hard to know which is which and that sort of thing, you know? Also, some people mask the “mean spirited” thing with the “nosy” thing. NOT saying YOU do, just noting that it happens.[/sub]
And then there’s Lyle, The Effeminate Heterosexual.
There was a guy I went to high school with who would definitely fit the “acting gay” description. Flamboyant dresser, spoke with a lisp, touched people when talking to them, etc. Thing is, he said he was straight. Ooookay, fine, he’s straight.
He came out in college.
The point is, before he came out, he fits the originally posed question. Despite the impossibility of pinning down a definition of “acting gay”, and despite the fact that any correlations are percieved and statistical anyway, it’s not pointless to discuss this stuff.
I worked with a guy who was really effeminate, but he said he wasn’t gay. (I don’t know if he later said he was, this was a while ago).
From what I heard, though, he grew up with three sisters, and his dad died when he was 2, so he was always around women, and he tended to pick up their mannerisms. Kind of like the opposite of a tomboy.
Now, whether or not that means anything, who really cares?