If what he means is a guy who is going to be a lot of much work or going to play hard-to-get, no, forget it, I can’t be bothered. Few, if any, guys are worth that much trouble, especially because so many equally attractive guys are no trouble at all.
Also, know that many guys who pretend to be straight or say they’re straight, are NOT straight, and are making eyes at YOU. That can definitely be a turn-on - NOT the fact that he’s straight-acting/appearing (whatever THAT means), but that he is an attractive guy who is flirting with you - in fact, finding out that this guy presents himself as “straight” has turned me off of guys in the past, for a number of reasons.
So for purposes of the question, these latter cases of guys are not “straight” but something else. If one had never spoken with them (like, a new guy in the shower at the gym), how would one know which group that guy belonged to, without more precise definitions of “gay” and “straight” from Izzy and Jervoise?
Yeah, what nisobar said. Or are you one of those gay guys that claims to have an infalliable Gaydar?
I have a gay friend who’s terribly sweet and sensitive, and he fell quite badly for a straight man. Not in a real, huge unrequited love kind of way, but in a way that they lost the friendship that they had because he just felt so uncomfortable around him (he was still very much in the closet at the time), knowing that he wanted to be more than friends, and this guy had no clue, and would never return his feelings.
He was quite young and still finding out about his sexuality at the time, and I don’t think he’s felt the same since he got the heck out of our small town, gone to the big city with lots of gay clubs, and joined a gym and got super buff. Now he has to fight all the other horny men off with a big stick, so maybe it’s just a question of availabilty.
Not quite sure what point I’m trying to make here, except to say that I am surprised by the general opinion that gay guys can’t fall for straight ones- certainly without crossing the sexuality divide people fall for completely inappropriate and onobtainable people all the time.
Bippy: have I seen your ass? Sunshine, this is the Internet age–I bet your grandparents have even seen it by now. If you didn’t want me to look, you should stop setting up all those sites, you big tease, you…
You won’t get a “general opinion” from me, just my own feelings.
Could I fall for a straight man? In the past, sure. In my present state of mind, not a chance. In my old age (nearly 24! ;)), I’m pragmatic enough that unless there’s a chance of something happening my feelings just will not develop in that direction. My head controls my heart, not the other way around (that’s the head on the top of my neck, incidentally. :D) It’s probably due more to my social conditioning rather than an innate safety measure, but who among us can claim that their own conditioning doesn’t affect their level of attraction to various people?
To take (yet another) crude example, who’s going to admit that they could be aroused by an attractive sibling? Your conditioning gets in the way long before there’s a chance of that happening–your mind has control of your heart (and dick, for that matter).
I don’t quite understand how my “gaydar” fits into all this. Suffice to say, however, in the context of my gym (my workplace too, for that matter) it’s not really relevant. I proceed on the assumption that everyone I don’t know is straight. Is that new guy in the showers a big ol’ homo? Unless it’s clearly evident that he is, I don’t really care. I’m going assume he’s straight and therefore unavailable and unattractive to me. Like I alluded to above, I’ll therefore treat him with respect and carefully avoid doing anything that would make me appear sexually threatening.
It’s just good manners. And a little bit of self-preservation.
Oh gosh, from a girl with a lot of gay friends i know what your going through. Just cause your gay doesn’t mean your after every guy. Whats even more hilarious than that is the way ppl believe that if two ppl they know are gay then they should date… Anyways just b/c your gay definately doesn’t mean you don’t have boundaries or preference or flat out morals. My lesbian cousin won’t even date bi girls let alone go after a straight one…
I am perplexed by the notion that some straight guys have that gay guys wany to hit on them and therefore they hate, etc…
As has been stated by some of the gay guys here, basically, straight guys have nothing to “worry” about. My gay friends have said basically the same thing. I’ve never been “hit on” and I don’t really see why it would be a big deal if I was. I’m straight, and it just doesn’t matter. My friends also told me that I haven’t been hit on because I don’t show up on “gaydar”…
It’s silly, all this. I mean, think about it. Straight men are in competition for women. Gay guys, obviously, are not. In terms of primal human nature, straight guys should celebrate gay guys; less competition! Hell, I wish more guys were gay, more women for me, yay!
