“Bastard”? You dare use that word around me? When my boyfriend’s uncle’s mother-in-law’s second husband’s first cousin’s foster father died from falling off a scaffold while he was doing bastard tuck pointing? How could you be so cruel!
OH!
MY!
GOD!
How could you!?! My father’s half-brother’s cousin’s stepsister’s aunt’s mother’s uncle’s babysitter’s son-in-law was killed by someone dressed like Friar Tuck for Halloween!
And I’m my own Grandpa!