My goodness, it’s unkind and discourteous to have a facial expression that may in some way mirror one’s state of mind? We’d better call up Miss Manners. :rolleyes:
I’m getting good use out of that smiley in this thread.
You know, if I happen to wear a cross to work, and someone stops by and says ‘Hey, Bible-Thumper, preach your religion somewhere else’ … I’d think they were crazy. Similarly, if I happen to be frowning when someone drops by my cubicle and they pipe in with ‘Hey, don’t get your grumpy on me!’ I will likewise regard them as crazy.
Let’s lay this out simply for all the egomaniacs out there : My choice of clothing, facial expression, hairstyle, etc … has nothing to do with you. Really. I’m not renting out a billboard to shout out to the world “Hey, I’m grumpy!” or “Hey, I’m Christian!” because I have some outward sign that those MAY be true. I didn’t think ‘Gee, I want everyone I work with to know I listen to They Might Be Giants, so I’ll wear a They Might Be Giants t-shirt today.’ Maybe some people do that, but my method of shirt selection is more like : ‘Does this comply with the office dress code? Does it match the pants? Swell.’ NOT : ‘Well, gee, Maria in the office on the other side of the building is terrified of alligators, and it’s conceivable I’d bump into her for five seconds, I shouldn’t wear this Izod shirt.’
Then try sympathizing with the people that have to put up with working with a bitch-puss a couple days a week. Put yourself in their situations and note that it’s a fucking drag. Totally legal, and definitely expressing a bitch-puss’s inner-self, but a fucking drag nonetheless.
Not that I consider the OP a bitch-puss…I’m talking about the chronic bitch-puss condition. I’m just saying that very few “bad moods” need to be shared with people at work. That’s what a good friend is for. Vent for a bit and get on with your life.
You know, I have… and I can’t say the idea of working with someone who has an occasional grumpy day bothers me all that much. I most certainly would never tell them to cheer up or send ‘inspirational’ e-mails. I may ask what was wrong, and if they chose not to answer I’d make it clear that that’s okay, and that I hoped whatever it was blew over soon. And I’d go on with my work day because I’m a professional, not an emotional vampire.
Why the hell are you addressing this to me? I said fuck-all about being “pissy”… I simply expressed surprise at the notion that if one’s mother is in the hospital dying, you “should be at the hospital with her”–a simplistic and ridiculous notion.
As for “Agreed. And you should be able to turn it off to get something accomplished at work.” Who the hell said that they weren’t getting something accomplished at work? All they are asking for is that people not butt in their nosy ass and start spouting cliché crap to chastise them for not being in a good mood.
No, only YOU are talking about that. You seem to be piling on all sorts of assumptions and extras that no one but you is talking about.
For someone who is so down on people being “pissy” you sure seem, well, pissy.
Well, excuse me for over-simplifying. When my mother was dying, I didn’t go around shitting in everyone’s cornflakes over it. If you mother felt the need to be “pissy” for the entire three months, maybe she should have taken some time off. I’m just sayin’…
What she said was, "Why can’t a person just be pissy? Why MUST I snap out of it? Don’t people grasp the fact than annoying an already pissy person is tantamount to waving a red cloth in front of a bull? It just makes me want to punch them in their overly toothy “buck up, pal” smiling gobs. "
I interpret the word “pissy” to be the equivalent of “bitchy”. Not “sad”, not “depressed.” Someone who is bitchy is affecting those around them, even if they don’t say a word. It’s body language and attitude.
Actually, I wasn’t the only person talking about it. Maybe you should re-read the thread.
Look…this is a message board and I didn’t bring the subject up. If someone feels the need to broadcast their bad mood, and their “fuck you” attitude toward someone who is concerned (and I’m not talking about the terminally perky) they can expect (and actually ASKED for) feedback. In real life, I’d let someone sit there and be “pissy” and be glad I didn’t to live with the bitch.
Who said a goddamned thing about my mother’s mood? What the fuck drugs are you on, anyway? YOU said that if someone’s mother was dying, they should be at the hospital, not at work. I submit that is the stupidest fucking thing I’ve heard all day. People can be “dying in the hospital” for extended periods of time. People’s dying relatives can be in non-local locations. PEOPLE STILL NEED TO FUCKING EARN A BUCK AND EAT EVEN WHEN THEIR MOTHER IS DYING. These are simple concepts which you don’t seem to have the capacity to grasp. Why you are attempting to tie in my pointing out how stupid you are to somehow saying that I had any input whatsoever into your whole issue with people’s bad moods is beyond me.
As for the rest of your post… well it’s just so full of more assumptions, jumping to conclusions, speculation, and general stupidity that I am not going to even bother to address it.
Jeezus, Opal…you might want to consider some drug therapy yourself. The exchange went like this, Originally Posted by Kalhoun - Now, if your mother is dying in the hospital…that’s not a “pissy” mood. It’s an emotional trauma (but you should be at the hospital and not at work if that’s the case).
and then you said…
Wait… so, like, when my grandmother was dying, and spent those 3 months in the hospital, my mother–who is an attorney–should have cancelled all of her clients, court dates, etc. and flown 2500 miles to sit in a hospital room 24/7 the whole time? Dang. I mean she did fly out there twice for a few days each time, but I had no idea that she was supposed to completely turn off her entire life and livelihood and move in at the hospital. I’ll write that one down so I remember.
Of course you’re not expected to drop everything during someone’s lengthy illness. The actual dying process is only a few days. The point I was making (and everyone else seemed to “grasp” it but you) is that it isn’t an excuse for rude behavior. If you feel the need to be a fucking bitch because someone is dying, you shouldn’t be at work. I don’t care how much you need the fucking money. Take your bitchy, mournful ass somewhere else. That’s all I’m saying…
But what you look like does affect the people working around you. If you came to work naked, it would certainly change the tone of the office that day. People actually do choose clothing, etc. partially based on how it affects other people. It might not be the most important factor, but it is a factor when you are dressing for work (and if it isn’t, it should be). [example with hyperbole]You might think your “all women are sluts” t-shirt is the funniest thing ever, but chances are you wouldn’t wear it to work in a workplace full of women, even if t-shirts were allowed.[/example with hyperbole]
I believe the same thing holds true for attitudes at work. Human beings are fantastic mimics, and we definitely take on the attitudes of the people around us. Haven’t you ever noticed how much better you feel around happy people than around gloomy people? We can’t help being emotional chameleons.
***Disclaimer - I should say that I’m coming from a place where I just worked 20 months with a raging bitch who never, ever got told to smarten the hell up, and felt free to take her frequent bad moods out on those around her, so I am more than a little biased on this subject.
Ah, jeeze, I forgot again that I wanted to say that people being responsible for their own moods at work aside, nobody needs to have someone yelling at them “SMILE, DAMMIT!” and sending you glurge all day. That’s just being a pain in the ass. You have my sympathy, MissTake.
You mean empathize. To sympathize would be to adopt the same psychological state. As in “The influence of a certain psychological state in one person in producing a like state in another.”
I find pissy workers and cheery workers equally annoying in general. But if I have to interact with them, I find the pissy person infinitely more annoying.
Ahem. ‘Office Dress Code.’ See my post, and please read it this time. And while nudity is agains tthe office dress code, it’s a good idea to dress legally as well. I would’ve thought that went without saying.
No, I really haven’t. I can honestly say that the emotional states of those around me don’t affect my mood much at all.
Taking one’s bad mood out on others is one thing. Wandering around with a scowl on one’s face is quite another.
Second, the other day was what you might call a lousy fucking day. Long story. Anyway, I go to work, don’t do the obligatory schmooze, and sure enough, it’s whisperwhisperwhisperLOOPYwhisperwhisperMADORSOMETHINGwhispertitterwhisperwhisper…er, oh HEY loopy! Yeah, so uh, how you doing? I mean, you doing OK? Well, hey, later!
Fuck you. You don’t care how I feel you gossiping bitch. No, I want you to wonder. Think hard. Entertain me with whatever theories you and your corporate sewing circle dream up to explain why I failed to say hello to you per shitnoser protocol.
Which are nicely scheduled in by the staff so that you know when to show up, right? :rolleyes:
I would have a lot easier time caring what you have to say if you weren’t being such an ass with the way you are saying it. I’m simply replying in kind.
You’re acting pissy in public for the attention it gets you. It’s a cause and effect thing. You KNOW they’re going to enquire as to your well-being, if you act this way…so why do it?
No you poor clueless sods, sometimes people are just pissy, just because. Not all people are as insidious as you seem to be. We don’t all use our “displayed moods” to manipulate those around us, as you seem to advocate, and do. Sometimes we are just in a mood, without hidden motives. End of story.
Must be hard, to be so paranoid, looking at each person’s expressions etc. and working your fevered little brain into knots figureing out everyone’s “motive” for having such an expression/doing such a thing/sounding a certain way. At least your life seems to have some excitement. :rolleyes:
FYI I read “pissy” to mean quite grumpy, but not bitchy. A “leave me alone, (as in don’t try to find out what’s going on, or cheer me up) I’m grumpy, if you don’t I’ll get grumpy in your face” type of demeanor. Leave the pissy person alone, give them some space, and they’ll unruffle, and calm down. As long as they are doing thier job, and not impeding the work of anyone else, let them be, it’s not your business.
Like I said, I really don’t give a rat’s ass if you want to walk around all day with the bitch-puss. Have at it. But don’t be surprised when people think you’re a real drag to be around.
Precisely. And IMO exactly what the OP was describing. How this has mutated into someone who storms about all day, every day, flinging ugly angst right and left, it’s hard to see for all the strawmen stacked arond here.
From time to time I go into work in a dark mood. Nothing to do with work, it’s just outside stuff in my life. If it can’t be shaken by the time I arrive, I simply comment to the “Hi, how are yas” that greet me: “Rotten, thanks! I’ll tell you when I’m fit for human company.” To which I’ll get something like “Okay, let us know when it’s safe to enter your den!” And no hassle to cheer up. But then, I work with sensible, considerate adults who don’t expect everyone to be perky pefect all the time.
As I said before, I don’t expect anyone to be “perky perfect”. I hate it. But I hate it more when someone who is being paid to do a job tells me to steer clear of them until they’re “fit” for human company. “Go away! I’m Grumpy!” is unprofessional and bitchy. If you feel the need to take a pass on the small talk, that’s fine. But banishing people from your world of doom and gloom is obnoxious.