Yes, it's a toy. No, I won't let you make me feel silly.

The BBQ Pit
1

A few weeks back, a friend of mine from back in my high school days called me and asked me if I’d go on an out-of-state trip with him. He wanted to buy a new ATV. With nothing to do that weekend, I accompanied him. And wouldn’t ya know it? I bought one too.

Upon arriving back at the Homestead, Mom, Sis and a few visiting neighbors asked me about my purchase. After I had explained myself, they had this to say…

“What is it with boys and their toys?”

This is about the 6 millionth time I’ve heard that question cross the lips of the women in my life. My mom asks it all the time. My aunts and my sister ask it too. Even my boss at my former company asked this with regularity.

So, for the benefit of all you people who don’t understand why men need a few toys in their toybox, let me attempt to explain.

A lot of guys work really hard. I count myself among them. I leave for work at 8 AM and I usually come home right around 7 PM or so. Like many single guys, I come home to an empty apartment. I don’t have a girlfriend, so unless I decide to go to the gym, I’m left with the choice of immediately going to bed for the night, or amusing myself with a hobby. On the weekends, the situation is similar. Either I amuse myself with a hobby, or I catch up on sleep.

Some guys in my situation come home at night, get dressed up and go to bars to pick up women. This amuses them. It doesn’t amuse me. Most nights when I go out to bars, I end up coming home frustrated and annoyed. Thus, bar-hopping is not one of my hobbies.

Some other guys in my situation do things like gamble, drink, abuse drugs and go to strip bars. Without trying to sound too preachy, these things may be cool every once in a while, but they’re not things you want to do with any regularity.

So, to amuse myself in my spare time, I try to get into new hobbies. ATVing is my latest. I also like to play video games, perform music and write for business publications. This is how I spend my spare time.

Hobbies are not unique to the male of the species. Women have hobbies, too. In fact, I have met several women who like to do things as radical as jumping out of airplanes to amuse themselves when they have spare time.

Mom, Sis and the gaggle of neighbors who are mystified by “boys and their toys”: Please take a second to reflect on how silly you’re being for making fun of my ATV purchase. Rather than going out and seizing your spare time and making the most of it, you elect to sit at the kitchen table with cups of tea and talk about what OTHER PEOPLE are doing with their spare time. Maybe that’s your hobby. Hey - whatever amuses you.

“What is it with boys and their toys?” Well, lemme tell ya. This past weekend, I jumped on that ATV and went sprinting down the beach at 70 MPH. I stopped at a deserted spot and watched the waves roll in while I looked for interesting crap on the beach. This is my new hobby. It’s both exciting and relaxing at the same time, and it keeps my mind off the bullshit that I have to deal with at the office.

So the next time you want to make fun of how people spend their spare time, take a look in the mirror and ask yourself what YOU’RE DOING with YOUR SPARE TIME. Isn’t it just as silly to waste time making fun of people who purchase toys so they can have a little FUN?!?!

I’m done now.

2

What is it with boys and their Pit Rants?

3

In my experience, the people who say things like “boys and their toys” are jealous of your hobbies (I’m a girl, but still am a wicked gadget head and toy freak). Let it roll off. Next time someone comments, just say “Well, it’s better then when I used to sit around and smoke crack all the time, right?”

You hit the nail on the head- some people spend their spare time obsessing about what other people do and being jealous of the fun they’re having. Count yourself lucky that you’re not one of them and have fun on your ATV.

Zette

4

At least your not spending your time watching soaps!

5

Hear Hear!

I’ll never understand why constructive (or at least non-destructive) hobbies tend to illicit criticism from people who spend the rest of their time complaining about how they never get to do what they want to.

So let me say…

Congratulations! Congratulations for finding something that you enjoy doing. Congratulations for making the financial commitment to that. Congratulations for having the time to devote to it.

Why someone should try to make a person feel guilty about having a good time in a way that is not harmful to anyone is beyond me.

6

Hazel’s internal monolog while reading the OP
Huh? ATV? What’s an ATV? What’s this guy talking about? What on earth did he buy? Oh. He drove it on the beach? It must be a vehicle of some sort. “A-T-V”? Ah, ha! It must be an All Terrain Vehicle!

Hazel’s comment on the OP
To me, the remark “boys and their toys” sounds hostile. Seems likely that someone is trying to elevate herself by putting others down; trying to feel superior by sneering at others.

7

THespos that must be one honking big ATV to illicit that kind of response. Congrats on the new toy. May you and it have many fun hours together. As you stroke it’s body getting the shine just right, as you rev it’s engine, as you take it where few have gone before.

But rather than a toy couldn’t you just be going for phallic symbol? :wink:

8

For those unfamiliar with the sport, this is what I bought.

I think I’d have to weld a six-foot cylindrical tube to the front in order for it to qualify as a phallic symbol, though… :wink:

9

I just have one thing to say - I’m jealous. Your ATV outing sounds really fun. Don’t let small-minded people bring you down. Everything you said in your rant made perfect sense to me (and, I suspect, a lot of other people who have realized that enjoying hobbies is what keeps us young and our lives interesting). You go, boy.

10

I’ve always heard that comment directed at boys with too many toys. I have a brother in law who spends half his income and all of his free time with toys. As with anything, obsession on bigger, better, faster ways to goof off can be destructive.

It sounds to me, however, like you’ve found a fun new diversion, and I say “good for you”. One of my new goals is a couple of those bad boys, and the free time to enjoy them.

11

I have never heard of an ATV. Looking at the picture, I am thinking “Damn. I want one too.”

It does look like a nifty “toy”, but an exceedingly cool one, and definitely one that will get you out and about, doing fun things. So what is wrong with that? Is that any different from a motorcycle or a dune buggy?

I cannot understand people who actually, seriously, have a problem with someone cultivating hobbies. Thankfully, I haven’t met many. I cannot understand such thinking, though.

What is there to life if not to have interests and hobbies? After work, what should people do with their lives? I grew up around people with many interests. My parents worked long hours, but still had time to do interesting and fun stuff. My dad had his books, music and photography, and all his collections. My dad also loved trains, but I think he was afraid of the “toy” stigma that came with them, so he wouldn’t allow himself to get those super fabulous model train sets. (I did buy him one, a few years before his death. He was so happy.) My mom had her music and crafts. My sisters and I are the same way with our varied interests, thanks to our parents’ influence.

Come to think of it, why the hell did my dad feel too embarrassed about getting into model trains? He was so afraid of being made fun of, for having a “toy”. Why did I have to give “permission” for him to own a train set (by buying one for him as a gift)? Screw that. Screw people who make interesting people with full and rich interests (like my dad, and almost everyone I know) feel “ashamed” of being interesting! Damn.

Well, thanks for bringing this up, THespos!

12

Redboss’s internal monologue while reading the OP, having missed the word "also".

“So what’s this ATV? … oh he likes to play video games, perform music and write for publications. Ah, so it’s a kind of TV thing that lets you do all those things on your TV… must be another new electronic appliance I never heard of… so he “drove down a deserted beach on it” … must be very convincing… and “looked at the waves” well, at least it’s not one of those games where you kill people a lot… he’s really intensely imaginative sort, isn’t he…? gee, why would someone complain about a TV thing like that?..”

Thanks for the explanation Hazel.

To THespos: um, is it noisy?

Are you going to go to beautiful secluded and peaceful retreats and take that peacefulness away? Cos I’m agin that.

Here in Australia some of our beaches have terrible noise pollution from surf scooters. They must be fantastic fun for the riders, but the restorative calm of the beach is ruined when they’re in earshot.

Access to nature - good.
Destruction of natural peace by people having access - bad

Redboss

13

Very cool, THespos. I got the same line of crap last year when I bought my '66 Fleetwood. And you know what? I don’t give a flying fuckola. I like it, I can afford it, and it’s fun to drive through traffic like a badass in a 20-foot long black Cadillac.

I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, and the only people dependent on me for support are the mortgage company and the local utilities.

So there.

Enjoy it.

Zap!

14

Diversions are fun, and so what if it’s silly. I think
there is entirely too little silliness in the world.

When my husband moved out in May (after 21 years) I bought
myself a very fast, little red Saab convertible. It’s only
a toy, I don’t need it, it’s shallow, and it’s flippant,
but it sure has helped me get through some bad days.

15

Well, I followed the link…

It’s called a (gulp!) Cannibal ?? It eats it’s own kind? I just hope you don’t let it leave the knawed bones of its victims all over the beach.

16

This reminds me of in American Beauty when Kevin Spacey buys that sports carand his wife wants to know whose it is.

His reply: “It’s the car I’ve always wanted, and now I have it. I rule!”

17

Bwahahaha

Quit kidding. But it does remind me of a joke.

A [insert foreign country name here] decides it needs to buy condoms for its citizens so it orders some from a manufacturer in the US. But this country doesn’t want to seem lacking in the manly department so they send an order asking for condoms that are 10 inches long. The US manufacturer gets the order–the owner ponders the matter and then says "go ahead and make them that size, but mark them “medium”.

18

I suggest that you direct your mom, sis, and others who are making you feel silly to the website you linked to!

From the small print at the bottom of the website:

(bolding mine…)

Have fun with your new not-toy!:wink:

19

It’s somewhat noisy, not overly so. The factory exhaust keeps it pretty quiet. It certainly doesn’t sound like a lot of those 2-stroke dirt bikes that make that annoying “turbo hummingbird” sound. Most of the beach houses down on the shore where I ride are up on 150-foot cliffs. I’d imagine the folks living there probably don’t hear much and that the waves drown out most of my sound.

Plus, I don’t sustain the noise like a personal watercraft might. I get to where I’m going and then shut the machine off until I’m ready to leave.

20

Girls have their toys, too. They just don’t like calling them that.