random musings: cars, porn, gender differences... my life

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I was supposed to be working on my car today. See, I need to replace the exhaust system from the catalytic converter on back. Sounds like a big deal but all it really involves is the five foot exhaust pipe and the muffler, and I already bought the parts. It’s just a matter of taking off the old ones (and since the muffler is almost off anyway that shouldn’t be too hard) and putting the new ones on. But I knew I wouldn’t end up doing it, and sure enough I didn’t. I had the car up on the ramps and everything I needed was out; then my father showed up and took over. He does that every time I work on my car, even if all I’m doing is checking the oil. “The dipstick is bent,” he says, “I can put it in better than you can.” Saving the world from the helpless girl.

Is car talk that suggestive on purpose? Another symptom of being a Man Thing? It’s funny, and makes it incredibly easy to come up with pick-up lines in the pits. “Wanna check my fluids?” “Can I crank your driveshaft?”

And then there’s porno. My best friend and I picked up a copy of Playgirl yesterday, just because we could. It was hilarious. The centerfold was shot at an abandoned gas station, and the accompanying “article” kept mentioning suggestive car talk. They actually said “We weren’t as interested in the hot rods on the lot as we were in the hot rod in his pants.” The phrase “bulging man-meat” was used at least three times throughout the magazine. And one of the photos really took the cake: a man in the process of pulling off a wetsuit. My friend and I had the exact same idea and said it at the exact same time: “It looks like as soon as he gets the suit down another inch, his penis is going to jump up, revealing a face and hands, and say Hidey ho! like Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo!”

There was also an advertisement for penis pinatas. I’d get one for my friend’s birthday party, but most of our friends are male. Either they’d be upset by taking a bat to a dick, even in effigy, or they’d really try to whack it off.

It’s weird having mostly male friends. They blame all your bad moods on PMS, make suggestive comments only half-jokingly, and cause people to think you’re dating just because you go out in public together. But, they’ll intimidate people for you, they smell good, and they almost always have the weird-sized wrench you need but don’t have. (What is it with guys and having every size of wrench imaginable? Maybe they’re just better trained at keeping track of their tools.)

Ah, yes. There’s another thing about my father taking over car repairs. When I was little, he taught me how to work on his Mack. I had my own little tool set and as soon as I could read the numbers on the wrenches it was my job to fetch his tools. I spent most of my childhood high on diesel fumes with grease marks under my eyes like a baseball player. But as soon as I hit puberty I was no longer welcome in the garage. One day he’d be happily explaining to me the inner workings of his transmission, and the next he seemed surprised to know that I could change my own oil. I just don’t get it.

Oh well. What am I gonna do? He didn’t finish taking the fiver off my car yet; if I get up tomorrow I can do it myself before he has a chance to take over. For now, I need a drink.

2

I think you’re the first person in the history of the world to admit to buying a smut rag, without the disclaimer you were “reading it for the article(s)”.

3

:smiley:

You know, when we bought it, the cashier was a woman in her 50s who looked absolutely appalled that two young girls would be buying smut like that. (Geez, I have blue hair and my best friend has tabby-cat spikes, you’d not think it’s out of character.) She looked down her nose at us (for some reason the counter in that bookstore is off the floor, like a pharmacy) and sniffed “I suppose you’re just buying it for the articles?”

I grinned. “Nope. We wanna look at penis.”

4

I love you. :smiley:

5

It’s pretty much the same for a guy having mostly female buddies. They let out an occassional quip about surprise erections and putting your eyes back in when you see a hot one. I"ve done a lot of babysitting and women guests were dazed seeing me change diapers with no trouble, as though I had made the baby float in mid-air.

 Both sexes treat the other in ways they think are appropriate, usually meaning well but often getting it wrong. We all have to cut each other some slack.

And most of my pals who check men out are looking at their butts for some reason.

I suspect most straight women get a perfectly subliminal erotic charge from pictures of other women, especially hair and skin. You will often hear a woman say, "She's just gorgeous" but most guys are not like to say, "That's a good-looking dude."
6

Bwwahahahahahahahahahaa…gasp
Sorry, that was funny, although you could get her in trouble for commenting the way she did.

Porno… well, if you’ve ever looked at a penthouse or some other low-grade porn mag, you would be amazed at how incredibly stupid the captions and what-nots can be.

Playboy usually doesn’t get that stupid, because they are trying to have this whole highbrow approach.

As for the car thing, well, before puberty I imagine dad really didn’t think of you as a girl, so much as a kid. I know I view my 2 that way… equals, pretty much.

When puberty hits I know that I will treat them differently. It’s just a fact. Hopefully I will not have forgotten what I have taught my daughter, however.

As for the male friend thing… well, see, any guy that hangs out with a girl, no matter how much “one of the guys” she may be, there’s still that whole female thing in the back of the mind… all of your guy friends have wondered what you look like naked, I guarantee it. Although they would deny it.
You are just as bad, citing “… they smell good…” as one of the good points of having guy friends. Would you say the same about female friends? Would you get pissed if a guy friend said the same about you?

7

Actually, I just threw that in there because I couldn’t think of a third point off the top of my head. My female friend does smell good, because she smells like the guys (motor oil. we’re nitro junkies). I wouldn’t get pissed off if my guy friend said the same about me. I get your point though.

8

Chikki, what exhaust were you replacing? The Z’s? Did you get larger size or replacement stock? What kind of muffler? http://www.mantapart.com if you wanna soup up the Z a little. Check out v6jbody@yahoogroups.com if you wanna join a Z mailing list. :slight_smile:

–Tim

9

I’d be willing to bet that the majority of Playgirl’s readers aren’t female, and the publisher probably knows that.

You probably don’t hang around women who knit or crochet, or engage seriously in some other “feminine” hobby. Do you know how many different sizes and kinds of crochet hooks and knitting needles there are? Not to mention things like stitch counters and markers, cable needles, stitch holders, types and sizes of sewing needles, thread…it’s not just men. Same impulse. It just doesn’t get as much notice or respect when it’s sewing equipment and not wrenches.

I imagine there’s a fair amount of gender discrimination there, but also a parent’s unwillingness to believe in the adult competence of his child. Only a short time ago you were a cute little tot who was long on curiosity and short on knowledge. You needed lots of help and advice then, and it’s hard to change the habit, maybe. Some parents have a hard time treating their adult children as adults, and I suspect most parents still see little kids when they look at their offspring, no matter how mature they are, or how respectful they are of their kids competence.