Aw, she’s a sweet little punkin. Thanks for sharing your angel with us.
It is amazing, and humbling, what they have to teach us, isn’t it?
Again, so sorry Buliwyf.
I am so very sorry. I can’t begin to imagine how this has affected your lives but I am glad to see you also seem able to face the future with optimism and together, including Montana. For what it’s worth, I think that’s important – that you can all move forward together.
You write well Buliwyf, and you read like a big man coping with what life throws at him. Also, If you have found writing to be cathartic, I’d suggest you keep it up as it might help others.
May you continue to be strong and open. My respects.
I understand your anger and pain, Buliwyf: My wife quit her last job primarily because of a stunningly offensive comment made about the loss of our babies.
It seems to me that the only person to lose any dignity is the person who spoke to you in such a disgusting manner.
My condolances on your loss.
Hello, little Montana! I wish the world could have gotten to know you. I hope you are safe and warm wherever you are.
Buliwyf, she’s a lovely girl.
What a fuckwit. If your daughter had died after one day, would it be ok to have a picture up then? How about a month? Or a year old? Or 2? Or 18? If a child dies, parents still put pictures of them up - what’s wrong with you doing so?
This guy has no common sense. I hope you don’t have to work with him on a daily basis.
Esprix
I saw the picture, and firstly I would like to say how beautiful, and how she really does look just asleep.
Secondly I would like to say that it is one of the saddest things I have seen in my life (because of the background knowledge that I have from you, so I know the little child isn’t asleep), it is just amazingly, upsettingly, tragically moving.
I am really sorry for what you went through, and what you went through with your co-worker.
I was about to sign off and get to some badly needed housework when I decided to check the Pit one last time. This thread was at the top and the title caught my eye. It wasn’t until I started reading it that I remembered your thread of last September.
My mother worked at a hospital nursery and was always bringing home pictures of newborn babies, to which my usual reaction was, “Yeah, another baby, they all look they same to me.” When I saw the picture of your little girl I started crying.
Your co-worker is an insensitive ass. My condolences to you and your wife on your loss.
My God… he’s lucky he’s still breathing.
Your daughter is beautiful.
I can’t understand the person’s problem if the picture is your desk facing you…
My condoleances to you and your wife.
Was this person a co-worker at the same “level” as you? or was he/she a higher up? I am curious.
I’m new, so this is the first I’ve heard. I’m so sorry to hear about your loss, and I’m proud to be sharing this board with someone like you. I am not religious, but I will be thinking about your family. You are an amazingly strong person, and your daughter is beautiful. (Sorry about the awkwardness of this post.)
As for this OP, words can not express the rage. Don’t piss in this person’s coffee, they are not good enough to drink it. Inhuman bastard.
Buliwyf, my condolences for your loss and my thoughts are with you and your wife. I am sorry that such a precious gift as your daughter was taken from you. (And your daughter is definitely beautiful.) I think your devotion to her and your determination to keep her in your heart speaks volumes about you.
And if your coworker doesn’t like it, then he can get himself a hammer and a big ol’ pile of sand and start poundin’.
Your daughter is beautiful. Thank you for sharing her with us. I am so sorry for your loss. Your thread was beautiful and brought tears to my eyes.
You DID NOT lose an ounce of dignity and handled the situation with aplomb. I don’t think I would have handled it as well as you. Your cow-worker is an insensitive asshole. Perhaps “management” should consider sending him to “sensitivity training”. They should send him off for at least five years!
I mentioned this once in another thread, but back in the 30’s my grandmother lost a child at birth, and she never got to see it. Doctor’s made those kind of decisions for you, and Grandma wasn’t feeling well enough to think about it. Almost 70 years later and she still speaks of it occasionally, and gets curious as to why she didn’t get to see it. Doesn’t know if the little girl had abnormalities or what. And she never had the nerve to ask my grandfather if HE saw the baby.
I’m happy for you that you have some pictures at least of your beautiful baby. You will never forget her but you won’t have the one extra pain of an unanswered question. If it was me I’d have a BIG version made so the jerk couldn’t miss it, but I’m not as charitable as you sound like you are. God bless you both, and someday, when you all see each other again, she will be able to show you around and say “Hey, here’s my mom and dad!”
She is absolutely beautiful. And she totally looks like she’s sleeping also, as you said.
I am sorry for what your so called colleague said - that is so shitty its untrue. What goes around comes around though - he’ll pay in some other way for that piece of shit behaviour.
Don’t let him tarnish your memory of your beautiful daughter - he is not worthy to gaze at her picture, let alone comment.
Take care of yourselves Buliwyf and Mrs B… we are all thinking about you in this sad time.
At the museum where I work we have a collection of photographs of dead children. 100 years ago it was very common to call in a photographer to make a “memory photo” of deceased children. (It was usually the only photograph the parents had of the child.) Some of these photographs are incredibly lovely. The children were carefully laid out on a sofa or bed, dressed beautifully with their hair styled. They look like sleeping angels.
I think it’s wonderful that you have such a beautiful photograph of your daughter, ** Buliwyf, ** and I’m very sorry for your loss.
This could be the most despicable thing I’ve heard here.
I may not have been able to control myself had I been you. Literally, I may have exploded into that wretch, and I don’t know what may have happened. I’m glad you resisted that urge when it came up.
I’m sorry to hear that this happened to you.
I admire your restraint. I don’t think I would have been able to stop myself from either 1) getting hold of that person by the neck 2) using some very strong language. Don’t let people like that get you down.
What a complete tool. I hope they feel ashamed of themselves and apologize.
Your little girl is just beautiful. It makes my heart glad that you keep her so close to you. The way you speak of her, it sounds like she walks closely with you in your daily life. What a brilliant soul she must be, to be inspiring so much love, even though she is on the other side of the veil for now.
I’ve seen a book of these photos. They are very touching.
Bulliwyf: I’m so sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing the photo of your beautiful daughter.
Your co-worker is an irredeemable asshole.
My reaction was the same as Esprix’s.
She’s gorgeous, BTW.