WOW. Aside from just being a jerk by telling you what to display at your desk (other than something actually distracting or a liability to the company), would he/she actually say something about having a picture of your dead grandparent displayed?
I just unpacked the pictures of my grandpa, including the last time I met him, and I’m going to put them up somewhere.
Wow. I thought that what Jersey Diamond and Joe_Cool had said to me last week were the lowest, cruelest and most hurtful things ever to sully this board, but, Simbelmyne, you have dethroned them with a thud.
I thought for sure I would check this thread again and see “banned” under Simbelmyne’s name…I thought I had read “don’t be a jerk” somewhere in the rules…or was I mistaken? Because if those two posts don’t qualify, I don’t know what would. Sorry, Buliwyf that someone had to come here and feel the need to spread their disease.
Margo
Ignore the jerk.
[B}Cardinal** there is a difference between a picture of your dead Grandparents taken whilst they were alive and a picture taken of them after they were dead. It is rare for people to ever see a person after they died, I havn’t to my knowledge ever seen a dead person, and I would not want to see a dead person. For me images of dead people are more common, but can be upsetting, images of live people who are now dead are not at all upsetting. That said this is for me to deal with, and it would not be reasonable for me to ask someone to alter what they display in their own space to save me from my squeemishness.
PS. sorry about the bad coding, and I should note the use of the word Ignore was not meant to have any link to the ignore feature on this Message Board, a feature I didn’t even remember until I re-read my post.
Well friends, yesterday was a very emotional day. The co-worker and I sat down and had a little chat. for those of you who asked, this person has never lost a child of their own, and also were aware of the whole story behind the photo on my desk. As I said though, this picture is not easy to see unless you’re standing directly behind me, something which doesn’t often happen with the way my office is set up. Anyway, I explained how his comments had affected me, and also asked if there was a reason he reacted the way he did. He apologized for putting it the way he did. We had a long very personal talk which I won’t go into here, but basically, he’s going to stay away from that side of my desk and mind his own business. We agree to disagree basically. Not exactly the outcome I hoped for but better than it could have been. I thank you all for all the support and love I have recieved through your posts.
I had a few comments for some of you ,PrimaFlora , this experience is different for everyone, so I won’t say that I understand how you feel. But I really do empathize. I do understand what you’re trying to say, and I mostly agree with your points. I would like to send you a big hug through this thread.
Mith , no…I’m not in denial. Regardless of your feelings on the subject, I DO have a daughter. She exists and is real. She evokes real emotion for me and I have 9 months of memories of her existence to cherish. For me to allow her memory to die and pretend that she never existed as you seem to suggest…THAT would be denial. You remind me very much of the many people I’ve met since who have said, it’s okay you’ll have another baby soon. Well my friend, I never lost A baby, I lost Montana. I will never be able to replace her, I will only be able to add to the family of which she will always be a part. So, to answer your main point, no…my daughter IS beautiful. And she always will be.
SimbleMyne, I pray everyday that this subject can remain a joke to you.
Anyway, Thank you all again for your support.
Buliwyf
Buli, I’m glad you had the courage to share your feelings and photo of your daughter with us. I think we all learned a bit. And she is a beautiful baby.
Buliwyf, I’m so sorry for all of this. Your co-worker still sounds like a jerk to me, but at least he/she will keep the jerkishness to themselves from now on. Please remember that any time you need to talk, there are literally hundreds of people here who will always listen.
On the subject itself, I think people need to grow up. There is absolutely nothing wrong with displaying a picture of a loved one, regardless of when that picture was taken. Primaflora, I’m sorry for your loss, and I for one would have no problem with you displaying a picture of your baby. Why? Because you would display this picture out of love and remembrance, not out of some impulse to shock or repulse. Why, if such photos upset people, do they not stop to think how much more upset are those whose loved ones are actually in the photos?
Bippy once again makes an excellent point that death is one of the major taboos in American society. We’re so removed from it now that the slightest mention of it in public is a huge social mistake. But despite our squeamishness and denial, people keep dying. And rather than accept it, mourn openly and heal, we hide it away like something shameful and dirty. Buliwyf was treated by a co-worker like some sort of perverse criminal because he chooses to remember his daughter through photos, and has the gall to display that photo in a public setting. Let me make this perfectly clear: There is nothing, absolutely nothing wrong with him doing that. Fault rests solely on the co-worker for acting like an ignorant, selfish child.
We could get into a big debate here over people’s rights to display whatever they wish, censorship and the like, but I don’t feel that has all that much to do with the situation at hand. **Buliwyf[/b[ has suffered a great loss, one that few of us will ever understand. If he chooses to display a photo of his child, regardless of what that child looks like, who the hell is anyone to say a single word to him? Everyone is perfectly free to not look at it.
Tiburon*, that was beautiful. 
Buliwyf you are the best father Montana could have hoped for.