I do that as well. 
I find playing Hit Them Up by Tupac or Moist Vagina by Nirvana works quite well. For a change of pace, Teenage Whore by Hole or Pink Velvet Cocaine by the Honeys.
It’s strange … we used to get weekly (sometimes more frequent) calls from someone claiming to know that we just switched long-distance carriers (we didn’t have one for quite some time) and/or that we just switched from X company (we have been with the same company for a while now).
“No, that is not correct.” “No. We do not and have never used that service.”
The last time the guy called, I told him twice that we didn’t use X company. So he mentioned another company. My response:
“Are you going to just keep listing phone companies until you get one right?”
In short, I have not answered the phone and heard a telemarketer since.
Funny you should mention that. I used to get a lot of penis-enlarging spam, but nowadays, it seems like most of the spam I get is for prescriptions. I don’t know what to make of that shift.
**
You know, when I said I wanted to “have” a big cock …
Before our state got a “No-Call” list, I had this conversation with several Long Distance Company persons:
LDCP: Hello, I’m from LDC and I can save you money on your long-distance bill.
me: Oh, I’m not interested, thank you.
LDCP: But you can save a LOT of money.
me: No, I’m sorry, I don’t have a phone.
You would not ** believe ** the responses you get off that one.
Here’s my favourite:
“Hello, I am from PhoneTabulous and we can save you $50 on your next long distance bill, what do you say?”
“I’m sorry. I love pissing away money.”
You do this, too? This was one of my favorite tactics back in college. I even had it on my answering machine. My roommate, OTOH, generally answered the phone by saying, “God speaking.”
Now I often answer the phone in Shin’a’in, or some other fictional language, and just stick to it if it sounds like a telemarketer. If I run out of vocabulary, I hang up. They usually don’t last that long, though.
<ring>
B: “Zhai’elleva.” (“Wind to your wings.” A greeting.)
T: “May I speak to Mr. Balance?”
B: “Hai.” (“Yes.”)
T: “Yes, hello, Mr. Balance. I’m calling to see if I can interest you in blahblahblah…”
B: “Isda Ma’trix?” (“Have you seen The Matrix?”)
T: “Pardon me?”
B: “Nohs for’shava.” (“It’s very good.”)
T: “I don’t understand.”
B: “Ke’anu Corthu se shesti.” (“Keanu as The One is ridiculous, though.”)
<click>
B: “So’trekoth.” (“Gullible fool.”)
Once, I said to one of these calls: “It puts on the lotion or it gets the hose.”
They said: “What?”
Then I said: “I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chanti.” Then I did the noise that Hopkins did after that line.
The idiot said: “Hello?”
I finished with: “Can you still hear the lambs screaming, Clarice?”
They hung up. One point for me, and great amusement for me as well.
this reminds me of (semi-related hijack) when we got one of those annoying door to door salespersons selling knock-off perfume. A friend of mine happened to be sitting in the reception area when these kind folks walked in. We refused to have the crap sprayed on us, and said not interested. she gets indignant and says, “don’t you want to smell good?”
our reply… “no”
they quickly exit