Gee, Melanie, it looks like we’ll be able to split four men between the two of us–just like living in Alaska!
I will probably meet Ike at his office and come with him–Mel’s description of him is pretty much on target, though I don’t know if today is his herringbone tweed or houndstooth check day.
I’m in a white cardigan, pearls and burgundy skirt–only my hair looks Victorian today, I’m afraid.
“Scraggly?” “Stocky?” You must learn to call yourself “zaftig” and your hair “silky,” dear!
Kosher restaurant? I think it’s a COSSACK restaurant.
Those of us with a lick of the shtetl in our lineage will be nervously glancing over our shoulders, waiting for the pogrom to begin.
But it’ll be fun, nonetheless.
Anderson in tweed pretty much does it, as far as my descrip goes…6 foot tall, brown tweed jacket today, wire-rim cheaters. I’m afraid I left my Lester Young-style porkpie hat at home today, but next time…
Is this the kind of place that will give me crap for wearing jeans?
And how am I going to find you wingnuts?
“The world ends when I die. And as far as I’m concerned, the rest of the universe might as well call it a day too.” – Matt Groening
Flora, I have a LOT to learn from you - lessons will begin tonight. Oh, and before I forget, my roommate prepared a little something for you! I’m sure you’ll want to burn it.
Alphie, you can wear jeans. Nobody cares about anything at this place.
Maybe we should just accost everyone who comes in the door. Any word on reservations, yet, Manhattan?
“The world ends when I die. And as far as I’m concerned, the rest of the universe might as well call it a day too.” – Matt Groening
They still aren’t picking up the phone. I guess if I served (and consumed) vodka until 4:00 am every day, I’d be late for work a lot, too. Sure hope they’re open on Mondays.
We probably won’t get a reservation anyway. The review says they don’t offer them.
Livin’ on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine
Well, if they’re closed on Mondays we will just congregate outside the door and go someplace that DESERVES our patronage. Shouldn’t be hard to find on 52nd Street.
Oh, Melanie, Ike and I already think of you as the daughter we never had . . . We so look forward to influencing and corrupting your mind.
I have reserved a table at the Russian Vodka Room for 6:00 this evening under the name “Straight Dope.”
They seemed quite nice when I explained that we’d have drinkers and probably not eaters, that we’d straggle in over the course of an hour or so, and that no, no one knew anybody.
Guess Monday’s not the busy day at RVR.
Anyhoo, just identify yourself as part of the Straight Dope party when you get there, and you’ll be all set.
Livin’ on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine
…and I’m sure the DEA has already been notified.
MELANIE! Have you brushed your scraggly hair yet this morning? That blue shirt…it looks like you SLEPT in it! And you finish every DROP of your vodka, missy, or NO caviare and blinis for you! Flora, make sure that young lady’s in bed, LIGHTS OUT, by 9:30, or she’s GROUNDED.
So how do I fit into the family dynamic here?
I hope they don’t point me towards the “Shooting Dope” party. Well, maybe we’ll meet up afterwards.
“The world ends when I die. And as far as I’m concerned, the rest of the universe might as well call it a day too.” – Matt Groening
Everyone always wants to be my parents. But so far, Flora and Uke are the most caring and understanding ones. BTW, this one guy down the hall actually comes in and combs my hair every morning - I am not joking.
I guess Flora and Uke won’t be mad when I start “borrowing” money from them, too! Heh.
Alphagene, there’s a place for everyone. Maybe you can be our family drug dealer!
So far my list is quite extensive.
Melanie, dear, Ike and I are both in publishing–if you can get money out of us, I have a stone here I’d like to get a blood sample from, too.
Alpha, and you Manhattan can be our sons and Mel’s brothers–or the pool boy and the cute guy who cuts the lawn . . . Depending on what y’all look like.
–Mrs. Robinson
[gruffly] Well…as long as they don’t come crawling into our bed at two in the morning…
Hmmm, now Ike, let’s not be hasty . . . Lemme get a look at them before I decide who I want crawling into my bed.
This evening??? Well, that’s a bit too sudden for me to change my plans (with my wife)…I assumed we were talking about some unspecified date in the near future.
Sorry I won’t be able to make it…maybe next get-together!
Chaim Mattis Keller
Ooh! I truly do *** LOVES ***a catfight! 
Sorry, the Statue of Liberty is in New Jersey.