I’d like to reinstate the fuedal system, just because I want to be the subject of a peasant uprising. What a cool thing!! Disgruntled commoners!! On that thread, give the Monarchy divine providence and abolish the Government. sends England back into the dark ages
If the above are not possible…
There can only be twenty universities in Britain. Courses can not include such drossery as ‘Beckhamology’, and ‘The Simpsons’. Additionally, everyone is forced to study logics and ethics to give them some basis upon which to form their opinions rather than simply accepting things as they come along.
Ban all tabloids. If you can’t understand a broadsheet, you aren’t important enough for it to matter. ← (excuse for moral outrage)
Bring back corporal punishment in schools. Everyone to get spanked once a term regardless of behaviour, just so they know what a little of what it’s going to be like if they do something really bad. Small children to get spanked too, because they’re so annoying. Spank prisoners too, and CLARAs. (Central Lane Resident’s Association - people who do 60 in the middle lane of a motorway). If they like it, chop their legs off.
Any teenager who shaves their head and wears adidas trousers to be dunked in tar. If they have one earing, walk with a swagger, and end every sentence in a swear word, they will be left in it.
Mushrooms to be banned.
Anyone who suggest spelling ‘socks’ as ‘sox’ in a thread about imaginary laws to be prime candidate for involuntary euthanasia program.
Everyone who can’t spell ‘to’, ‘too’ or ‘two’ (or ‘their’, ‘they’re’ or ‘there’ for that matter) will be forced to communicate in semaphore until they learn. Similarly, everyone using sms-abbreviations in email to have three fingers removed.
Hunting via archery to be legalised.
Vast quantities of Mongolian Sheep to be imported.
William Morris curtains to be exiled to Spain.
More castles to be built with attached titles!! (I really want to be the Margrave of something).