Let’s just clear it up, because I’m just a girl and I don’t understand complicated concepts without men explaining them.
Torie: I beat up my boyfriend, but it didn’t leave bruises so it doesn’t count
diane, jar, aries, countless others: what the…it’s wrong to beat up your boyfriend
nyctea: cut her some slack!
others: do you think it was wrong to beat him up nyctea?
nyctea: yes! But we still have to coddle her!
Pulling untrue shit from your ass doesn’t help your argument much.
Once again, there is a difference between asking for emotional support to try to feel good about yourself again; and desperately craving male attention and shamelessly asking people to flirt with her.
Just to clarify, nothing that I’ve posted so far has been mean at all! I’ve either speculated about her motives, or given her advice.
RE; the “it’s illegal to kick someone out of their house blah blah blah” I rather suspect that there is no ‘one size fits all’ answer for that, that it would depend on a number of factors, including (but not limted to) jurisdiction, who the owner is (is it one of the parties? both of them? neither - as in rental?) if there’s a lease involved and if so, whose names appear on the lease, relationship (legal) of the parties involved etc.
Just for sake of pointing things out, I live in MI, 20 years ago when my now exhusband moved out of our home that was owned by a friend of mine, (we lived in w/o a lease), I was advised that I could in fact, change the locks and deny him access from that moment (advice from a noted lawyer). and a client of mine who shared an apartment w/his g/f (his name was not on lease) came home one day to find his stuff outside, broke in to the apartment, spent next 8 years locked up for B & E.
While there may be some validity to “he can’t keep her from her stuff”, it didn’t appear true in these cases that the remaining person couldn’t ‘kick them out w/o notice’.
I’d have advised her to contact police and seek their assistance in getting her stuff out of the residence.
Re: the ‘tell me I’m not totally unlovable’ - I’m not going to pretend to read her mind, but agree w/others that responding to this with ‘flirting’ (vs. “awww shucks, no, you’re still a worthwhile human, good that you’re getting counseling, etc”), was, what was the technical phrase? yea, “Icky”.
Re: domestic assault - I cringed on the first page of this one when some one (can’t remember who, doesn’t matter anyhow) said something like “well, this is different from domestic assault”. um, no, not at all. Again, I work w/offenders and see both male and females charged w/this. Domestic assault is wrongful behavior. He’s mentally abusive etc etc etc? leave. Find it difficult to leave? get help. Do not hit. Seems odd to me that it has to be pointed out.
Bruising isn’t necessary to prove ‘domestic assault’, at least in my experience.
oh whew. I thought wring was coming in here to yell at me again 
Well it looks like the pitting is turning away from torie and towards me. Fine go ahead. If it gets these damn rants away from the girl I’ll be happy to take the heat.
I admit it! I am the smilie heart creator!
Oh God I must be a real pervert to pull a stunt like that, huh? Gee, I mean I must of been trying to seduce her with my amazing coding skills, huh?
Get a life. I saw torie’s post as her being fucked about by her ex-BF, retaliating against it through an unnecessary but possibly provoked attack, which did nothing like I and any other logical person would suppose, and wanting to feel like there were people in the world that would actually give a shit about someone like her BF did not. Flirt was the wrong word to use. Oh shit better cut off her hands so she can’t make another mistake again. :rolleyes: I made the heart because I had made one previously for the doper harmless. It made her feel better, like I hope it made torie feel better. And as for some people criticising her using the boards to ask for sympathy while I’ve got three words for some of you and you know who you are.
Pot. Kettle. Black.
Don’t pit a girl because she doesn’t live up to your standards and not because she made a mistake in her intentions. Feel free to pit me though for a gesture of good will that I hoped would cheer up the real victim of this story because I could give a flying fuck what you have to say about me.
nah, you gave me a pony
Twenty-two is still very young. I never said I’d hold her to the same standards as a 14-yr old, or any age, for that matter. Youth, inexperience, inappropriately placed anger, they’re all in the same trick bag. This is a learning experience for her. She was wrong and she knows it. I think we’ve all made mistakes we cringe at in our later years. I’m sure this will be one of 'em for her.
nocturnal tick, nah, it’s no fun to pit someone if you know they’re getting off on it.
And here’s something interesting, just because some of us have done stupid shit in the past (hint: me) doesn’t mean we don’t get to call others on it in the future.
note to torie: if you having a job a home and a life requires having a man…step back and reassess
Here’s my take on it:
Torie: Sigh. My boyfriend kicked me out of our apartment today with notice. In a fit of anger I hit him. But immediately afterwards, I realized I needed help and I went to a mental health clinic for counseling.
diane, jar, aries, and others: You despicable monster! How dare you come here seeking sympathy, you boyfriend beater! And how dare anyone offer her sympathy, you’re just encouraging domestic violence!
nyctea: Yes hitting her boyfriend was wrong. But let’s give her praise for recognizing her problem immediately and seeking help. Let’s also not forget that torie is a victim of extended emotional abuse at the hands of her boyfriend and is now homeless. She is deserving of scolding, but also sympathy, because we’re humans, and we all make mistakes. She needs our support now, she is reaching out for support.
diane, jar, aries, and others: None of that makes a damn bit of difference. Who cares what she has been through or that she was kicked out of her home. What she did is horrible and unforgivable and she is not worthy of any sympathy or support. her boyfriend should have called the cops!
nyctea: But she is seeking help, guys, and has expressed remorse. What about that?
diane, jar, aries, and others: That point is totally moot because she asked for FLIRTING! That negates everything. What a bad evil person.
Torie: Wait, I was only being facetious! That is what the 
was for! Sigh.
diane, jar, aries, and others: Yeah right. We know you’re a bad person. Shame on you!! Pile-on, girls!!!
And you can’t make a decent argument if you just spill out jokes like that. It’s lame, learn from it. Like you supposedly learned that people can make mistakes, people can bring up things that they shouldn’t have done and hold their hands up and say sorry, maybe like this:
Oh, but wait, you go on and rant about her, saying how bad she is for what she has done and how she should have been as perfect as you are now, even with your past errors. You should be supportive to someone who makes the same mistakes you have. This board is for fighting ignorance, not abusing it with mockery and indignation.
Having met torie, I wrote her an e-mail after she posted to the DopeStock '04 about losing her job, and I offered my support.
I didn’t know about this thread until I spoke with her a few minutes ago on the phone.
What I do know is that she is a very pleasant and intelligent young woman who admits to having made a mistake, is on her way to correcting the problem and asks for forgiveness and support.
As her friend, I give both willingly.
Call if you need to talk, torie.
Bill
nocturnal: let me introduce you to the concept of back pedaling
torie did nothing to stop the flirting and praise for beating up her boyfriend (which we only know was mild from HER side of the story), instead encouraged it further, basking in the love. Only one person that I saw (before this was opened) even suggested that perhaps hitting was bad. Then, when she got called on it, came in and retracted that she ever wanted to be flirted with.
No one here said we shouldn’t sympathize with her. But, like I’ve said about sixty times: SYMPATHY or COMMISERATION != “I’ve seen your pics and u r so hawt! let’s get nasty!”
and I maintain that if a guy had posted:
You’d be calling for him to be strung up and killed.
And while your bizarro world translation of events was humorous, one thing you attributed to me is true:
Having a vagina shouldn’t get you off the hook for assault.
World rolleyes shortage! Panic in the streets! Film at 11!
See, this is what I don’t get. Where the Hell are people getting that he was an abuser? Why do they insist that the violence torie committed was exagerated, as it probably was, and then insist on exagerating the boyfriends culpability beyond any semblance to reality. Show me one iota of evidence that he was emotionally abusive that can’t be explained by torie exagerating an argument they had. She hasn’t gone into any details about this, so it is the worst type of assumption to claim that he was abusive.
Furthermore, she readilly admits that she didn’t love him anymore. Methinks that this have been awhile coming and was hardly at a moments notice or for no good reason. As to the jobless-because-she’s-homeless thing, you’re an idiot, nyctea. Perhaps you she reread the original thread and pay close attention to post #13. In it, torie says
Hardly sounds like homless to me. So pray tell, how has her boyfriend caused her to lose her job? In the same post she says she found a new job. That was posted two days after he threw her out. I suspect that she lost her job before they broke up and he had nothing to do with it. You demonizing the guy when you have no evidence that he actually did anything.
Lastly, and this is what really pisses me off.
Complete bullshit. Unfucking believable bullshit. She goes over to his apartment and assaults him. Now, I’m thinking he let her in the door first. She calls him the next day to wish him “Happy Anniversery” and he talks to her. Where the fuck are you getting that he is denying her access? She has never said anything even marginally hinting at that.
This is what pisses me off about all the apologists for torie. Just because she posted here, you automatically assume that the boyfriend is the worst of all human beings when he could be the second coming of Ghandi* for all we know. Before you demonize him any further you need to explain three things. What job did Torie lose, and how did she lose it? What did Marc say that is considered emotional abuse? Why is he more culpable than Torie herself?
(Ghandi also kicked out a guest that had stayed too long
SHUT UP! Ever’ last one o’ you had best just shut up y’head! I’m tryin’ to watch a “Hee-Haw” rerun over here, and I can’t hear a damn word Junior Samples is sayin’! The man’s DEAD, and y’all are talkin’ all over him!
If’n it don’t quiet down in here, and I mean PRONTO, I’m gonna whup on each and ever’ one o’ y’all! And then I’m gonna go flirt with Marlene down to th’ diner! I know you all hate it when I flirt with Marlene, but it’ll be your own damn fault 'cuz you was all TALKING! OVER! JUNIOR! SAMPLES!
Ah cain’t even enjoy watching Misty Rowe’s boobies bounce around fer all this racket. And now I done missed the whole punchline to the BR-549 skit!
Bullshit.
First the bullshit about her losing her job and now your little reinactment just lost you any (if there ever was any) credibility you might have had with me. You are just making shit up as you go along, looking more and more like an idiot with every post.
Are you even reading either thread? Is it not computing?
Monkey With A Gun: here, enjoy this country that I"ve turned over to be ruled by you. We used to call it Luxembourg, but now it’s yours.
First of all, I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’m certainly not “piling on.” My opinions are my own, thank you. I am my own woman, I do not need someone else to tell me what to think.
Second, hitting anybody is wrong. That’s all.
I’m certainly not saying she isn’t worthy of sympathy or support. Indeed She did not ask for any. Instead she just wanted cheap male attention.
Third, I have no reason to believe that is was “just a joke.” She posted multiple times to that thread, and never once did she say, “ok, stop it with the flirting guys, I was just joking.”
Why didn’t she just come here and say, “Yeah, I asked for men to flirt with me, perhaps it wasn’t the most appropriate thing, sorry about that.” rather than deny it? I think that’s what bothers me the most now, I wish she’d just own up to it, rather than backpedaling.
Then some other stuff about dumpster diving…I’ll go look that up for you.
It’s just as much bullshit as jarbaby’s original reenactment was…
You guys are no better than the snobby chicks in high school who think they’re better than everyone, piling up on someone less fortunate and kicking them when they’re down. You guys have blown this whole thing out of proportion and are just plain being MEAN to torie.
About her losing her job, I simply misread her post, where she cited losing her job. So shoot me! Damn people!
And I’d rather be an idiot who is trying to stand up for the underdog than mean vicious judgmental high-and-mighty snobs.