He dumped me.......

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I just wanted to let everyone know that I will be a little scarce lately. I am accessing the boards through the library at the moment.

At 8:30 on Sunday morning, Marc threw me out of the apartment. He does not love me anymore. In an hour, I lost everything that had become familiar and comforting to me. I’m a little lost at the moment. :frowning:

I didn’t really love him anymore. Everyday he hurt my feelings. He let me know in his own little way that I was never good enough. My self esteem has some recovering to do. I don’t want Marc back, I want the apartment back. I want the comfort of living by myself, without my mother. I was over him a long time ago. But I am not over the anger.

Yesterday morning, I went over there and beat the hell out of him. I was so angry at him for what he has done to my self esteem. I hit him repeatedly in the chest and arms. I’m lucky he didn’t call the cops. Needless to say, I went straight to my local mental health center and am now in some counseling. Pople with a history of depressive illness in thier family can sometimes have thier own depressive illness triggered by life changing events like these. She said my violent episode may be indicitive of a larger problem.

I have the large task of convincing myself that I am not inherently unlovable. Any flirting anyone could offer would be greatly appreciated. :smiley:
Until Thursday, when I will be able to come to the library again, I will be thinking of you. I love you guys. Once I get a computer (Which will be soon, hopefully) this whole thing will seem so much less lonely.

2

Sorry to hear that torie sending warm thoughts your way…

3

Nope, sounds about right to me. :stuck_out_tongue:

I’ve seen the pics: hubba-hubba!
Hey, baby, how you doin’? :wink:
Tell this ass-monkey the harem mistress is not pleased and will be along to insert a boot directly.
Nobody messes with my snuggle-bunny! :mad:

I know I’m probably not the one to talk right now, but if that’s the way he’s been treating you continuously, then good riddance!
You’re entirely too sweet to put up with such crap. :slight_smile:

4

Wow. You’ve had a crappy month. I hope things turn up for you. Best wishes.

5

Hey, wait a minute… nobody told me the harem was co-ed… how do I sign up, again?

No more hitting. When go back, bring pie. Hit him with that. Much less painful for both of you, probably more satisfying for you, and good for the pie industry.

I haven’t been back long enough to read many of your posts, but I have it on good authority (harmless’s posts) that you are cool, fun, and not inherently unlovable.

So, aside from your OP, how you doin’?

6

Well that sucks mightily.

Good on you for heading straight to counselling! As a veteren of many a counseller, going back as far as elementry school, I’ve got nothing but praise for the process. A good one can make all the difference in the world. (Carol, if you’re a Doper, thanks!)

I’ve done the violent thing too. Recognising that it’s not what you want to be is a huge step forward. It would be so easy to just say he deserved it. This is about you and the journey you just started to becoming the cool, strong, independent person you know you can be. Stand up girl, you’re going to be okay.

Now, practicle. Have you got a job? If you do, great. If not, even a McJob will get you a little basement or shared place and your independance. Actually, shared accoms might not be a bad idea at first. It can help with the lonliness. Check around with friends and FOF’s. Someone you know or at least know about would be safer. Don’t be too picky. So what if it’s not as nice as the place you left. You’re free and you can always move as soon as you get it together, right?

Whose stuff is it? Can you get enough of the basics to set up? You really only need the minimun kitchen stuff, maybe a TV and a couch. Heck, we’ve lived with less that that when we hit a new town in just the clothes on our backs. (Ah, to be 21 and foolish again! :wink: )

I don’t know what it’s like in your area but up here we have programs for women leaving relationships, especially abusive ones. Sounds like you’d qualify for mental abuse anyway. There are courses you can take that teach you to live independently, search for work and generally learn about yourself. There’s also some help for immediate housing. Now, this goes back about five years so things might be different and as I said, different area. Check out what’s around in your area. The mental health centre should have the info, in fact your counseller ought to know.

Oh, Torie , good luck! I really really hope you’ll be posting in just a short time to tell us about your great new place and the wonderfull job and this cute guy… :wink:

7

And she has breast you can go Brbrbrbrbpbrbpbrpbrbprbrbbrprski! in! :stuck_out_tongue:

8

Awwwww, torie. Here ya go:

:wink: :wink: iii :wink: :wink:
:wink: iiiiiiiii :wink: iiiiiiiii :wink:
:wink: iiiiiiiii[color=red]torieiiiiiiiii :wink:
:wink: iiiiiiiiiisiiiiiiiii :wink:
:wink: iiiFINE!iii :wink:
:wink: iiiii :wink:
:wink: :wink:
:wink:
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Love nocturnal (official cheerer upper and flirty dude) tick

9

This is the same dude who went dumpster-diving to find your driver’s license???

Wow, Torie I’m sorry to hear that. Sounds like the guy needs to be dusted with sugar to prepare for a visit from TORIE’S MINION ANTS!!!

I must point out here (to anyone who hasn’t seen a pic yet) that Torie=babe.

signed,
a married man who really shouldn’t be visualizing a 3-way with torie and harmless but just can’t help himself…

10

Hmmmmm…
Oh dear torie you seem to have dropped something. Here. Let me bend over and pick that up. Oh harmless whatever are you holding there?

:eek:

My fantasising is now over…Ok one more…mmmmmmmmmmmmm…

11

Oooooo! No one treats a fellow SDMBBP’er that way! Ok, we’ve got two choices. We can either go the brutal route, or the sneaky one.

If we opt for brutal, then I’ll just send the loyal minions of the Briston Benevolent Dictatorship over there for a good talking-to.

If we want sneaky, then we’ll need three things: Torie’s wallet, a dumpster, and a large padlock. :smiley:

12

Wow. This is my life about nine years ago. Even with the XBF being named Marc.

Here’s the thing. When you are staying with your mom or whoever and he calls you up and says you can come home now, he’s not mad anymore, don’t do it. And don’t date him, either (I did this, and wound up losing about another year of my life).

Anyhoo, my cat Conan is lying next to the keyboard right now, so if you want to put your feet on the monitor to get some cyber kitty-comfort, feel free (thanks to harmless for pointing this thread out to me)

Or, you can try this

13

Thank you! I looove you guys!!!

This is the same guy who dumpster dived for me. He had the strangest habit of being increadibly nice and loving, then turning critical and mean before I knew what hit me. :frowning:
I hated him so many times.

I found an apartment today. It is 650 a month utilities included. It’s cute, big and I know a couple who will probably share it with me. That will bring my rent, cable and phone expenses down to 390 dollars a month. That includes keeping internet access and everything. And it’s going to be so much fun to decorate!!!
I have a job now, I work at Sally Beauty Supply. My mother told me today that she will pay for me to take courses to get my Travel Agent certification. :slight_smile: ::Blows horn::. That will start in September.

Meanwhile, my dear friend Derrick is letting me come over several times a week to stay in touch with you guys. I can’t let on how greatful I am that he is doing this. The combination of seeing more of him and staying in touch with you guys will really help the lonliness. Every single post has helped me soooo much.:)Thank you, thank you, thank you.

14

You know we love our fellow Dopers, torie. :slight_smile: Best of luck with the job/ apartrment, and may Marc suffer a painfully creative karmic retribution.

15

That is great news torie. Sounds like things are looking up for you.

Wishing you luck and joy in your new career.

16

Reason number 347 I will never live with a man without being married again:

If you’re married, they can’t just boot you out, take all your stuff, or drain the checking account. Or they will be held responsible by the court, and treated none too kindly by the judge.

Cohabitation sucks by my account.

Anyways, good luck Torie… you’re way better off without someone that’s cruel enough to treat you like that.

17

Wow, I have an ex boyfriend named Marc too, me thinks this Marc guy has been around the block and back.

Enjoy starting over again Torie, I left my husband 2 weeks ago and it feels really good.

18

Sorry about your rough time, that stuff sucks. I’d disagree with trublmakr though. Be glad it’s not gonna cost you any more than the price of a new apt. and some new gear. Lawyers cost like a bitch, plenty of my colleagues can evidence that reality.

Anyway, I too have seen the pictures, and can say only…
How YOU Doin’ :wink:

Besta luck.

19

I’m just sayin’- when you live with someone you have all the responsibilities of being married, but none of the rights. Although, in some states (if not all) you can’t just kick someone out- you have to evict them by process. I guess having legal rights makes me feel better than living on someone else’s whim.
As for lawyers, renters without any children or real property of any worth can easily do a do-it-yourself kit, usually.

20

Wow! I didn’t expect it all to come together THAT fast! Great!!!

(Stern voice) However…

DO keep up the counselling. The pattern you’ve described of nice one minute and nasty the nest will likely change. Once he sees you’re not going to crawl back, he’ll be a total sweetheart for as long as it takes. No, the shock of you actually leaving won’t have changed him. Yes, I realize he kicked you out, but I have a felling it’s another phase in his power trip - “Let’s see how many times I can REALLY mess her up”. He’s a game player. Take my word for it.

Still keepin’ my fingers crossed for ya! :slight_smile: