You boys looking for a hot date tonight? What? A cold one? Warning, eek factor!

The BBQ Pit
1

When I first heard 3 guys in a neighboring county were caught in the act of digging up a fresh grave, I thought they had some scheme to sell body parts, take jewelry off the corpse. or some other greedy reason.

I was wrong. Apparently they wanted what we all want, sex. Except with a week old female corpse, the victim of a motorcycle accident. :eek: They allegedly bought condoms on the way to the cemetary. :eek: :eek:

It amazes me that there are three individuals on the same continent who would think this a good idea. Surely they could at least find some accommodating livestock out back.

It’s so pitiful. It’s so disgusting. Yet all I can do is write SNL skits in my head about it. Just a few miles out of town are Larry’s, Darryl’s and Darryl’s dumber cousins.

2

Yeah, 'cause going bareback on a decomposing chick would just be, like, icky.

How about that X-Files ep where the boys kept mom’s living torso under the bed for boinkage :eek: :eek: and eek! squrared!

3

The article doesn’t mention the most important fact of the story: was she hot?

4

Lucky they survived, they were already fucking near dead.

5

“So, whaddaya wanna do tonight? Go get a stiff one?”

6

“How cain Ah free yer doubtful mind / An’ melt yer cold, cold hearrrrt …”

7

“Blimey, Harry Potter, I know we’re to study necromancy, but I just don’t think it means what you think it means…”

8

I think we can all agree that this is indeed one sexual habit that would devastate one’s children were they to find out the parent indulged in it. Yup, this is the one.

Well, maybe it would be worse if one found out one’s parent was a **polyamorous **necrophiliac–but I doubt it…

Or maybe necrophilic bestiality would be worse… Ack, I need some brain bleach now! :eek:

9

Hmm, it looks like Ms. Tennessen was quite the hottie when she was alive.

Inquiring minds, fighting ignorance, etc.

10

True enough. But sometimes you just have to accept that you’ve missed your window of opportunity and move on.

11

At the risk of blurring forum boundaries, I have to ask in all seriousness - can you really be charged with “attempted third degree sexual assault” on a corpse? Doesn’t assault imply a live victim (if they shot her body, would they be up on ‘attempted murder’ charges?)

12

If they shot a corpse believing it was a live body, and they were trying to kill it… sure, that’s attempted murder.

13

Wow. I could have done without the picture.

First, it was funny and gross. Now it’s just sad and disturbing.

14

Ah, but we can be pretty sure they didn’t believe this was a live body, having to dig it out of a grave and all. There’s no mens rea.

They can probably be got for “damaging human remains” or whatever that crime is called.

15

**SmartAleq[**QUOTE]Or maybe necrophilic bestiality would be worse
[/QUOTE]

So would sado-masochistic necrophilic bestiality jus be flogging a dead horse?

16

Sounds like the family has been through some tragedy before. From her obit:

And now three morons dig her up with the intention of fucking the corpse.

The poor family must be thinking, “What next?”

17

The story also gives new meaning to “Wisconsin Death Trip.”

18

At least they weren’t trying to buy cell phones!

19

Well, there’s:

Criminal Trespass
Vandalism/Destruction of Property
Desecration of a Grave?
Desecration of a Corpse? …

Sexual assault construes a lack of consent, or a violation of consent. Since human remains cannot give consent, assault is sort of implied. But since human remains are not persons, but, well, stuff, we are basically left with things like desecration.

20

The relevant charge of 3rd degree sexual assaul in WI is found here in Section 940.225. The briefest summary I can figure for it is “sexual intercourse with a person without consent.” I did find a “key definition” of “consent” that referenced unconsciousness or sleep, but not death. I will look into the definition of a “person” – so far I haven’t found the accepted legal definition in the WI statutes.

OTOJ, there is also possibly a relevant clause in SECOND degree secuals assault in that “Sexual intercourse or sexual contact with a person known by the perpetrator to be unconscious or mentally ill or mentally deficient.”

I would think a dead person cound be considered unconscuous or mentally deficient, or both.

Any lawyers who’ve handled necrophilia cases out there? Wouldn’t the be a funny vanity search – “attorney AND necrophilia”?