I’m female, so I’ve never had a prostate exam, but I have had various illnesses that have warranted similar exams.
The last time I had one done, the doctor said while she was doing it, “Well, this all feels quite normal.”
I couldn’t help it—I burst out laughing and said, “Well, maybe to you.” She laughed, too, but turned a few shades of red and purple.
When I had mine done they never mentioned the air, and I was too loopy from the anesthesia to notice what they were doing. After I left, I started feeling some pain in my abdomen that got worse over the next couple of hours. I left work early and went home thinking they had scratched my intestine with the camera.
I was laying on the couch at home wondering if I would have to call an ambulance when all of a sudden, “PHHHHHHHHBBBBBTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
Oh, that’s what that was!
That’s true. 
I think I missed my chance from a combination of:
)Actually, skip that last reason… :o
Don’t ever show him how they do a partial prostatectomy. A clue…
It involves a laser :eek:
Shoved up the urethra :eek: :eek:
And it isn’t miniaturised equipment :eek: :eek: :eek:
The first time I saw the video I could not believe how big the rod was (and I am talking about the metal thing they shove inside). I’ll put up with low pressure pee thank you very much.
This is a technique used to deal with enlarged prostates that are non-cancerous, and is less invasive than a full prostatectomy (but I can’t imagine how)
Si
It was indeed a prostrate prostate exam. What, are you supposed to stand up like a man?
I’m not a man, how would I know? I’d ask around the office but we’re a little short on guys round here.
“Using the whole fist, doc?”
Great movie.
The first time I remember having that kind of exam was a few days prior to surgery that was to remove five pilonidal cysts from area around the base of my spine. As I “assumed the position”, I clearly recall seeing some, well, unorthodox posters hanging on the wall of the examination room. The first was undoubtedly thought of as keenly witty down in the Nephrology Clinic. It said “I love you with all my kidney.” The second was a kind of sign I had seen frequently in this and other Army hospitals. It showed one stick figure beckoning enthusiastically to another, who was extending its arms in a “keep back” pose. In large letters it proclaimed “Sexual harassment is forbidden.” The last word had been crossed out with a marker, though, and the word “exciting” was scrawled in as a replacement.
Just the sort of thing you want to see when some guy who doesn’t exactly make your heart sing is using your body as a finger puppet.
Good job you don’t smoke.
I enjoy doing prostate exams about as much as you enjoy getting them done. Not my idea of fun to shove my finger up someone’s ass. It would help me out a lot if you’d all make finger puppet noises.
Think that’s bad? When I was 18, I had a Q-tip each stuck up my rear and then one up the other end–yes, in both “out” holes–for $50.
(It was part of a (legitimate, academic) study at a major university.)
Best part: Donating sperm to science (at home, that is, away from the Q-tip-lookin’ things). Worst part: Giving the urine sample right after the, well, you know.
I felt that one for days.
I had to get my nuts sonared once. That wasn’t very uncomfortable, but the lube was pretty cold and it took quite a while. Whatever it is they use, it doesn’t clean up with great ease either.
I had an exam up there that took a couple minutes, and the Dr. started chatting, like it’s going to distract me or something. He asked me if I had any hobbies, anything I especially enjoyed doing.
I said I really enjoyed not inserting things into my anus.
Heh. Not only have I had all the normal girlie exams, but I’ve had my urethra dilated, so I still don’t have too much sympathy.
Contrary to what one might expect, urethra dilation doesn’t involve some neat drugs like dilating your irises does. They just come at you with a thick metal rod with a tapered end. I won’t forget that experience soon.
But did it also cure your hiccups?
What a great sentence. I am spend a lot of effort trying to insert it into conversation from now on.
Thank you, I’ll be here all week.
Ya know, you probably could have got it done for $25 at the local rub-n-tug.
Yeah, I had that done once, when I kept getting UTIs. I had to fast ahead of time, so between my blood sugar conniption and the pain, I fainted in the changing room afterwards. The only concern they showed was that my blocking up the changing room would make the next patient late to their procedure.
What the hell does a finger puppet sound like?