Too bad legislators aren’t elected, then the women’s voting majority could change that.
Let’s go to the videotape, VernE. lisacurl said this –
which brought this response from you –
Somehow a polite request has been turned into “rage.” Then ETF asks –
to which you reply –
so now anger is added to the mix. The only problem is, all this rage and anger originated from you. You just made shit up. They never spoke of rage and anger, only you did. I suspect that most folks here would agree that someone who is yelling in rage and anger needs to calm down or go home; however that has fuck all to do with the posts you responded to.
Much better.
Uh, yeah, except you haven’t been following the conversation. Note that my first response in the thread mentioned that my wife sometimes takes her anger out on me during PMS. This is very important. Remember it.
Then note that at the end of my post in reply to lisacurl, I wrote “[/Ogre projecting].” This should be a clue to the savvy reader that, I dunno, I was projecting…that I was not really literally answering lisacurl’s post per se, but that I was rather cleverly referencing information I revealed earlier, based on the apparently erroneous assumption that whoever was reading the thread might be paying attention to what was said in it. My wife sometimes uses the same justification, that I have somehow violated “boundaries” which I did not know existed, and which do not exist most of the time, and how I should have known about them all along, psychic wonderboy that I am. The difference is that instead of getting massively grumpy every few months, my wife has a tendency to get snappish and waspish pretty much every month.
So, in conclusion, my post was a (rather light-hearted) way of making several points: 1) that we can’t afford to just leave women alone (well, I can’t, anyway) for five days every month, 2) that I’m not likely to react well to being yelled at for no apparent reason, 3) I still need to communicate with her and get her input on various matters, and 4) I don’t appreciate being a target of anger that I have not earned. It’s not like she doesn’t know it’s coming. It happens at roughly the same time every month.
To continue with this tedious redux of a conversation whose point should have been obvious had you been paying attention, the next post was in response to ETF, who asked if I would be similarly disturbed by being attacked by someone with a migraine, a flu, the gout, etc. Well, of course I would. Why? Because I did nothing to deserve it. Hell, why wouldn’t I? I’m not allowed to attack other people when I’m sick or feeling bad.
Are we clear yet, or do I need to deconstruct the rest of my posting history for you?
I can not tell you how much this post pisses me off. (joke)
I feel so crappy some times that I just can’t keep from bitching. Couple of other posters have said that a woman who has pms acts like a man. I agree. Men get really uptight when the womenfolk are not all squishy and sweet. Fuckers.
You forgot to mention perimenopause.
That’s when the hormones start going haywire.
Just ask my husband 
Nothing, just made it up. What’s ABD?
‘Already Been Done’, from the context.
On the other hand, it’s not as if you don’t know it’s coming either. Roughly the same time of the month and all. You can develop a thicker skin for a few days out of the month and understand that the fuse is going to be a little/a lot shorter.
Okee Dokee.
Which of these definitions of projecting are you using?
This is where you seem to have gone off the rails. Are you under the impression that every post in every thread references every preceding post? If so, why respond to lisacurl? Why not just, you kow, reply? She was not reponding to anything you said. Why did you need her post to help you continue this unbroken information stream?
Is this why? Because lisacurl used the word “boundaries?” A word that appears nowhere in your seminal post? You do realize, don’t you, that lisacurl is noting the existence of said boundaries, a notification which puts the lie to the assertion that one is unaware of their existence?
Well, psychic wonderboy, as you noted in your Very First Post (All hail Ogre, Bringer of the Word. And yea, the Word is constant, and ever present, and doth sooth us and inform us alike, and always.) you recognise the signs of PMS. And here you tell us it happens every month. How much of a drain on your psychic resources can it be?
No one is asking you to. And it wasn’t in the Holy Post, so we’ll have to ship this off to the Apocrypha.
No one is yelling at you.
Have you told her about the First Post Theorem? Might help.
As do you.
Oh gosh. Methinks the crown is weighing heavy on the head; else you would have paid attention and realized that I noted that in my response to you. Not that I needed to. First Post Theorem and all.
Swing and a miss. She said nothing about an attack. Are you sure you are the God of All Threads? My faith grows weak. Maybe you’re just a pedantic, self-centered asshole who thinks the universe revolves around him, and believes that a physiological response is on the order of choosing which shoes to wear.
If all these folks are attacking you, you might consider whether you are doing anything to provoke it. I have been close to many women who are menstruating, yet I have never been attacked. And I’m kind of a prickly guy.
That would be cool. Can you get right on that? And don’t stop until you’re finished. That’s a good lad. Run along and do your little project, and we’ll give it a big old looksee when it’s done.
Never had migraine.
If you’re able to go to work, it’s not flu.
And however vicious my gout gets, I’m supposed to take the pain pills and put the fuck up with it. Going all grizzly-bear on the first person who says hello is not an option.
I got the impression (confirmed by his subsequent posts) that Ogre doesn’t want any woman in his life to get angry with him at home, either.
As Contrapuntal and lisacurl have both pointed out, I said nothing about any of my hypothetical sufferers being in a hair-trigger screaming rage. Where do you and Ogre get that from the words: “Please leave me alone, I’m not feeling well”?
It’s the First Post Theorem. See, anything said in a thread is automatically assumed to be referenced in every post in that theread, even stuff that is only implied. So when **Ogre **implied in his first post that his wife is a screaming, batshit insane, violent raging bitch with a capital B, that implication is assumed to be in every subsequent post in the thread. Duh.
For the record, I am going to assume that Mrs. Ogre was not such a violent person before he married her, else, why would he?
Sometimes correlation indicates causation.
My deepest condolences to Mrs. Ogre for her unfortunate partnering.
I can get being bothered by her attacking you or being a bitch or whatever, but getting upset because she’s crying? Look, I have the hormonal weeping too, and you can’t always help it. Sometimes you just cry. It’s nothing personal; it’s not meant to make you feel shitty; she’s just crying. Pass the tissues and keep her away from sad movies for a week. Not hard.
None of those, Captain Google. “Projection,” in this case, can be substitued for “transference,” as is often the case. I’m sure a Google search will enlighten you. Maybe. And before you jump on the Clinical Psychology bandwagon for which you are obviously unsuited, go have a beer and chill out. I was using the term for rather humorous effect…informally, if you will, as in, “I was projecting my feelings toward my wife during PMS onto lisacurl. At no time was I actually attacking lisacurl. No lisacurls were harmed in the making of this post.”
Uh, yeah. You see, that’s why it’s called a “thread.” It is a series of posts by varying users with a central topic defined in the OP. It is therefore not unreasonable to assume that each and every post is somehow thematically related. It is also not unreasonable to expect that whoever reads and replies to a thread be cognizant of and familiar with the contents of that thread. I mean, really, ETF got it. Malacandra seems to have gotten it. Nobody else really took offense to it. You’re the only one who seems to be offended.
Because that’s the way I chose to do it. Stylistic differences. Clever wordplay. I’ll bet lisacurl’s thought processes went something like this:
“WTF?! Why is Ogre yelling at…wait. I don’t know this guy. He doesn’t really have any reason to yell at me. So let’s see, there must be something else going on. Ah yes. I seem to remember way back on page one that he said that his wife sometimes gets snappish during PMS, and ooooooh, I see his clever little vBB tag about projecting. Why, he wasn’t talking about me at all! He was projecting his feelings about his wife’s PMS onto my post! I get it! Food for polite conversation!”
If you participate in the thread, follow the thread. That’s all I ask.
Now who’s going off the rails, sparky? These “boundaries” are rarely consistent things. They go up and are taken back down at intervals, not always with fanfare or announcement. And since a woman’s body is not a Swiss timepiece calibrated to the US Navy Atomic Clock, the time at which these boundaries are erected (during the onset of PMS, for those who are still lost in conversational limbo) is not normally constant from month to month. In other words, let’s say I get my head bitten off on August 3. Uh oh. PMS. Boundaries. Time to make myself scarce. Requisite time passes. Wife becomes all lovey and hunky dory about a week later. Cool. You can bet your ass I’m on the lookout around September 3. But fuck! It hits half a week early, and suddenly I’m embroiled in a fight over whether I clean out the litter boxes right now or at the next commercial break. PMS, and it’s only August 30. Suck!
In other words, either your SO has a period like clockwork (assuming you are male or lesbian,) or you have no idea what the experience is like.
Yes. The signs usually consist of being attacked for some imagined slight. In other words, I know it because I’m suddenly embroiled in a fight which came out of left field over some trivial issue which wouldn’t normally bother her.
To be attacked more or less at random over a ridiculously trivial issue? Considerable.
Man, are you ever dense. Remember the “projection” thing. lisacurl said, and I quote,“There is roughly a 3-5 day period once every few months when if I say, ‘Please leave me alone, I’m not feeling well…’” My wife sometimes says the same thing. Unfortunately, that’s not really an option. I don’t know what kind of utopia you live in, but around here, we both have to work, cook, clean, and help out. I take up as much of the slack as I can, but you know, there are times when I can’t handle everything, even during PMS. Which means, I need her to at least be able to relate to me in a civil manner. This is not an unreasonable request.
You are still not getting it. To be helpful, every time you make a comment in which it is obvious you still have not digested anything I’ve said, I will simply post this: WFTAYTA? GBARTT! - which stands for “What The Fuck Are You Talking About? Go Back And Read The Thread!” I hope this will prove helpful.
Or, IOW, projection. My wife was yelling at me. See, that’s what this whole thing is about, and the reason I’m wasting so much time having to explain this to you. I’d be studying for my Molecular Genetics exam right now if you were simply able to put 2 and 2 together.
Actually, the First Post Theorem is merely corollary to the Thread Comprehension Theorem, which reads thus:
“One should read and understand the entire thread, including all posters and previous postings (see also: First Post Corollary,) before attempting to respond to the thread, keeping in mind that posters might, at times, use indirect or playful means to make their point.”
WFTAYTA? GBARTT!
So now you’re having trouble understanding your own posts. We’re in deep water here, fellows. I know you noted that in your response. That’s why I included the explanation in my own response…because you once again flew off the rails without understanding a word of what I said. Remember - projection. ETF fully understood that I was not talking to lisacurl, or at least, she responded as if she knew. Subtlety is not your strong point.
Wife. Attack. Projection. Not really directed at lisacurl. Keep up.
All these folks? You are massively clueless. One person. Wife. Projection. Wordplay. KEEP. UP.
OK. Here we go: July 2000 - September 14, 2006: mostly polite conversation with mostly intelligent people. September 15, 2006: gets into a befuddling argument with a hammerhead who can’t be bothered to comprehend the contents of the thread to which he’s posting.
There you have it. Hope it helps.
Precisely. Thank you.
Do you want people to get angry with you at home? I’m not sure about you, but I’d prefer my home to be a mostly peaceful place, free from arbitrary conflict. While I know that such matters will, from time to time, arise, I know this: my wife does not appreciate it when I grow angry and snappish (for whatever reason,) and I’m expected to medicate and suck it up, or at the very least, not take it out on her. I expect the exact same in return.
Nor did I. I said “yelling” as an example of an attack. This does not necessarily constitute a “hair-trigger screaming rage.” It could be in the form of passive-aggressive displays, raised voices, “the silent treatment,” actual yelling, upbraiding me about not having done something she asked me to do, etc. Pretty much the full array of human anger and aggression, minus actual violence. I don’t appreciate any of it, for a simple reason: I have not done anything to deserve it. I am not allowed to treat her the same way, regardless of my mood or state of health. What’s different about the reverse situation? Nothing.
On occasion, I get that. On these occasions, I am totally fine with it. I ask her if I can do anything for her, and generally just leave her alone afterwards. However, sometimes it’s not like that at all. I get yelled at, and I don’t know what kind of saint you are, but I don’t appreciate being attacked for no reason.
Apparently, the idea that you follow the history of posts in a thread before you respond is foreign and unreasonable.
I mean, seriously. 
Am I not allowed to make indirect reference to an earlier post to a thread? Was it really that hard to follow? Come on, man. This is the SDMB. We’re supposed to use a bit of subtlety occasionally, and be able to assume that whoever is reading the thread might be able to figure out what’s going on. It’s not like it was completely out of left field. The pertinent data is RIGHT HERE in the thread, in black and white. I would have just said WHOOSH, if I weren’t so taken aback by your confusion.
Exactly.
Let me correct this. Sometimes, this is OK. I’ll do my best, but sometimes, totally leaving her alone for 3-5 days is simply not an option. At the times I have to communicate with her, I expect to be treated civilly, for the reason expressed earlier: I am not the source of her pain or discomfort.
Of course you are. What you are not allowed to do is claim that every post in a thread references every other post, which is demonstrably false, or pretend that when you post a bullshit response and get called on it, you were really just making a vague allusion to one of your previous posts.
You might also refrain from citing posters as “getting you” before you know that they actually do.
The sad thing is that you seem to believe that your specious bullshit makes sense. As I said, my condolences to the Ogress.
There was nothing vague or after-the-fact about it. It was intentional from the moment I posted my second response to the thread.
ETF and Malacandra are free to come in and correct my interpretation, and if I was incorrect, I’ll acknowledge it. No skin off my nose. However, I’m still betting that they understood.
Yawn. That all you got?
I don’t question your intention, only your execution.
I don’y know about Malacandra, but ETF clearly did not. She asked you about it just upthread.
What more do I need?
While you are at it, why don’t you point out exactly how these posts are referencing your wife’s anger.
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=7780416&postcount=49
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=7780864&postcount=55
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=7780872&postcount=56
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=7781005&postcount=59
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=7781019&postcount=60
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=7781044&postcount=62
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=7781068&postcount=63
And don’t weasel out by saying that they are ‘thematicall connected.’ That is not a direct reference, which is your support for claiming that* “This should be a clue to the savvy reader that, I dunno, I was projecting…that I was not really literally answering lisacurl’s post per se, but that I was rather cleverly referencing information I revealed earlier, based on the apparently erroneous assumption that whoever was reading the thread might be paying attention to what was said in it.”
*
What we are loking for is a direct reference to (to use your word) information. Not thematic similarities. Information.
We really don’t care whether you’re squishy or not. Honest.