I usually know when my wife’s on her period. Before my daughter got married and moved out, I sometimes knew. There are very few women I know so well that they’d actually tell me about it. It’s too bad the OP has to work with women that can’t keep such news to themselves.
Incidentally, an amusing incident that happened to me some years back: I was having lunch with a group of women that worked for me. One of them mentioned that I was the first male boss she’d ever had, and that started a discussion about whether they preferred working for men or women. The newest employee said, “Men, because if you say you need the day off because of ‘female problems,’ they’ll never question it, but you can’t get away with that with a woman boss.” I told her she couldn’t get away with it with this male boss anymore, either. The others all busted up laughing.
Oh, yeah. That’s true, regarding having a male boss. Especially one who’s just the teeniest bit insecure. They really don’t want to know about your gyno exam, or your pap test, or your mammogram. They REALLY don’t want to know about the surgery for a "female problem. " Not at ALL. Magic words: “It’s, um, well, it’s a female problem.” Look just a little downcast. Say no more. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
(WARNING! TMI! Abandon all appetite ye who enter here!)
Sometimes it’s more than just mood swings, tenderness, etc. When I worked in retail, I had to stand for hours at a time ringing up customers. Normally that wasn’t such a big deal, but when I was menstruating, it felt like my uterus was trying to slide down through my birth canal. Fun times. It’s really hard to provide service with a smile when all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball under the counter. And while I despise women who try to get away with crap while experiencing nonexistant PMS, sometimes it’s hard to concentrate on anything but the pain.
Yeah, when I was a kid, sometimes after an argument with my mom my dad would take me aside and tell me I needed to treat her with a little more “respect” during certain four-to-five day stretches.
Adolescent that I was, I told him I considered that kind of “respect” disrespectful to her and that I would interact with her with the same (what I called at the time) honesty that I would throughout most of the month.
We had this argument a few times. I don’t know if my Mom even knew any of this was going on.
Baahahahahahaaaaaaa! (Hey. You forgot the king-sized Snickers)
Occasionally I will snap someone’s head off at work. Usually it’s deserved. One of the guys from sales once asked “What’s the matter? That time of the month?” I took great pleasure in smiling and saying “No, I had a hysterectomy ten years ago. Now I get to be a bitch whenever I feel like it.”
So if someone sick with, say, a migraine, or flu, or a vicious attack of gout were to say, “Please leave me alone, I’m not feeling well,” would you project the same attitude toward them? Or would you consider those to be legitimate reasons to cut that person some slack?
“It’s not as bad as you make it out to be”
“It’s all in your head, you need to get over it.”
“My mom/sister/last girlfriend didn’t act that way.”
All wrong answers. The fact is, it’s different for every woman, and trying to act like every woman should react the exact same way because it’s the exact same affliction is bullshit. Some women share similar symptoms, that’s about as good as you’re going to get. Just because someone else’s symptoms were less doesn’t automatically mean what you’re seeing now is dramatization. Hormone fluctuations, age, weight, stress level…all kinds of shit factors in. Not treating someone with a little extra consideration because you don’t think it’s bad enough to merit different treatment is precisely the kind of rude assholery you’re complaining about.
I must be the obtuse one because if that’s what you meant I must have misread your post. Sorry about that. I thought you meant she said she had PMS but didn’t…oh, nevermind.
Uh, yeah. Pretty much, because I did not do anything to deserve it. When I have the flu, I’m still expected to act like a human being. It is unacceptable for me to direct my anger at someone else, because they did not cause my pain. It is acceptable to act like one is in pain, but it is not acceptable to take it out on one’s friends and family. Period. Ever. Control yourself.
