I swear you can’t make this shit up. I swear I heard all of what you are about to read today at lunch.
I went to lunch today at a local 24 hour restaurant. Think of a local Dennys / diner with better food.
Anyway there was a guy sitting across from me (U shaped counter) talking to another guy. He had a rather loud voice so I could not help but overhear his story. And I do mean story.
I have to tell you, I have been known to stretch the truth a bit, but this guy makes me look like am amateur. A rank amateur.
Let me see what I can recall the story.
Here let me put these in right now, so I don’t exhaust them trying to fit them in everywhere they belong in this story. :eek: :rolleyes: :dubious: :smack: 
He had invented an engine. Britney Spears put up the money for the engine development. The guys from JPL built it. It produced 1,000 horse power running on MAPP gas.
They then fueled it with his special fuel which he developed from Napalm and it developed 10,000 horse power, it broke the 1" thick titanium mounts that were holding it down, and it flew several miles and crashed into a house.
He had the family in the house move into a hotel while they repaired the house. Britney’s father was in charge of the re-construction, but they had to use a different contractor as he is not licensed here in California. they were paying Britney’s dad $500/ day for his “supervision”
Anyway they mounted this engine on the space shuttle. There were great big air scoops that came up around the tail. And they launched it. When in outer space they had to use their own on-board oxygenated fuel as there is no oxygen in space. Anyway the astronauts opened the shuttle’s doors in the ionosphere and the doors got stuck. Every body that they were goners, but then they called this guy and he told them to use their thrusters and and land belly first.
Anyway Britney wanted to pilot the shuttle, and since it was her money that was funding it, he gave he pilot training. but to be certified she had to fly a mission. so up goes the space shuttle with Britney in the pilots seat.
She flies the shuttle to the ISS and when they go to dock there is lightning arcing from the shuttle to the solar panels on the ISS. The lightening ran down the solar panels to something and arced something into a non-functional state. (sorry the restaurant was kinda loud there)
Anyway Britney flew the shuttle back and landed it at Edwards.
Then there was this other engine he developed that generated 1 trillion horsepower. That’s right 1.000,000,000,000 horsepower. It was the size of a mini-cooper.
they anchored the engine to a large concrete stand that was 1/2 buried. They ran the engine for 3 seconds and it moved the concrete stand 3’ through the dirt. Oh I forgot to mention, the fuel is based on Nitroglycerin.
Obama came out to see it, asked a question and was told that he had no need to know that info.
they then mounted this engine into an ICBM and flew it and landed it on an aircraft carrier off of Hawaii.
There was something abut the admiral having questions and them taking off again. A guy was tracking it and counting 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 when the admiral asked what he was doing, he said he was counting on the Mach numbers.
At this point he got up and left still talking to the other guy.
Several things leap to mind here.
Why didn’t Stranger tell us about this stuff going on at JPL?
How the hell do you anchor an engine to a test stand that develops 1 trillion horse power? If a measly 10,000 HP broke free how do you hold a trillion?
Should I have been looking for the guys in white coats and butterfly nets?
and lastly I wonder what color the sky is on this dude’s planet.
I’d say it’s the color of money, but I’m sure the story goes on to tell how his ex-wife and/or partner cheated him out of all of the profits. Or the government stole it.
Real engineers use kilowatts.
Yeah. I once met a guy who was a personal friend of Bigfoot. There is a name for these people: Crazy
Santa Monica is full of crazy homeless people. We see crazy every day. this guy looked normal.
And Real(mad)Scientists use gigawatts.
Rick, I’m always on the lookout for new restaurants; what was the name of this one?
Norms. Lincoln @ Colorado.
Ah. So it was a diner and a show, eh?
How were you not belly-laughing and rolling on the floor through this? I think I would have been hyperventilating and turning blue from the laughter. And - my laugh can be contagious, so I would have had the whole restaurant going after a minute!
Dinner and a comedy show.
Meh…that’s the least weird thing I’ve seen come out of Santa Monica in a while, including Sheryl Crow, who is a whole big bag of weirdness herself. If you really want to see some high weirdness as all hours of the night, try Fred 62 on Vermont in Los Feliz. If you just want to see downright criminal activity, try the Original Pantry Cafe. I swear, they must have a pneumatic tube directly connected to the LA County jail. Despite what people tell you, don’t go to Canter’s Deli, which is just greasy and nasty, and the only reason to go to Kate Mantilini is to recreate the iconic scene in Heat with DeNiro and Pacino bonding with each other before the epic bank heist.
Stranger
Are all of the Norm’s pretty good? I’ve seen diners and hamburger/sandwich places?. They seem a bit worn, so I’ve never stopped in, but late night service is not too common around here, so I’ll give one a shot next time I’m up for a late meal.
BTW, I work in El Segundo and stay in Manhattan Beach, so if you ever need someone to nosh with, let me know.
Hey, have you seen my wallet?
I had no idea that Britney Spears had so many talents!
Indeed, but she still can’t sing for shit.
Rick, could you tell if the two guys knew each other or Crazy Guy just latched into an innocent bystander? I hate when they do that.
Now I understand. She had to shave her head to put on the space helmet.
Ummm, if he was going to make this story up, he should have maybe put some thought into the celebrity to use in the story instead of a has-been one. Even Justin Beiber would have made a better story. (Or this story would have been better circa 1999).
You can’t make this st up **
Apparently someone did.
I think he just latched on. they were not sitting next to each other, there was one seat between them.
I didn’t dare start laughing, I was afraid I was going to miss some of this stuff.
Malleus Nope sorry I could not think of this on the best (worst? most drug addled?) day I have ever had.