Alright, I changed my mind. Two years worth of massages from a bikini clad masseuse.
How much does a brain transplant cost?
Laser eye surgery, laser hair removal, touch-up and improvement of my tattoo, and maybe another attempt at sinus/septum repair so I can breathe. But I hesitate at that last one, since I’ve done it once and it sucked.
If you asked me in ten years when I’m done having kids, the answer may be different. I joke with my husband that I’ll likely want a breast lift for my 50th birthday, but I’m pretty sure I’m only kidding.
At my age, it’s not about looks anymore, it’s about what’s likely to go first. I doubt new lungs could be bought for this small pittance.
I could use a good haircut. And it’d be nice to have a personal nutritionist and personal trainer. That’s pretty much it. I have no desire to have any sort of cosmetic procedure and I doubt that my eyes can be fixed at this stage.
What about medicinal chocolate?? 
Hmm… new eyeglasses (not a suitable candidate for surgery)
Regular dental visits
Go to an allergist and take advantage of any new treatments since I could afford them
Go to a dermatologist/cosmetic surgeon for some minor skin issues
Regular massages
Really, I can’t imagine how I could spend a half a million on my body in two years. What I need is mostly maintenance and not even a crapload of that right now. For the record, almost 50 and female.
Hmm. The only things I can think of I’m not sure count.
I don’t want/need any cosmetic surgery. I don’t have any diseases or ailments that can be fixed by any amount of money.
So I guess I’d go with something like a really nice home gym, if that counts. Or upgrading my kitchen so I can make healthy food. But not sure if either of those counts as “for my body.”
If they don’t count, I got nothing.
Teeth mostly. Maybe another pair of glasses in about a year. I think I’d like to spend the rest on healthy foods. I’d probably need a good freezer for all that.
Lasik - been thinking about it for a while but never felt the need to go ahead with it
Personal trainer/coach - Help my running, general exercise, flexibility and strength. Would get a triathlon coach to go along with it, just because
Masseuse - once a week at least 
Cook to prepare healthy meals multiple times a week.
Can I cover a home gym under this?
Hmmm… Hookers and blow both are things which affect the body…
I’d finally get that penis ensmallment I’ve been needing
Yes, along the same lines, a single-lane lap pool (i.e. an “execise” pool, not an “entertainment” pool) attached to the house, and the building/enclosure to make it viable year-round in a forest neighborhood where there are winters.
Teeth, lipo, personal trainer (if that’s allowed), some other plastic surgery like a bit of work around my nose, lines and such, see if there’s anything new out there to take care of my IBS and other GI issues, take care of my thinning hair, eye sight (maybe lasik again). I’m sure I could come up with more.
Interesting answers!
I think if someone was having fertility problems and they both wanted to go all out to do everything they could in two years they might get close to the half million mark. I’m not sure.
I think I would get my legs, underarms and some eyebrow hair lasered.
I’d get the procedure that stops your period, endometrial ablation.
And get some dental work done, get wisdom teeth removed and get teeth whitened.
I’d also get rehab for my ankle and take allergy shots.
Probably just hire a trainer.
Lots of fresh vegetables.
I can’t think of anything. My teeth could be a lot straighter, but I don’t see myself wanting to spend any money, even free money, on that. LASIK or whatever might be nice, so you could probably chalk me up for that, although I’d like to be more educated on the possible side effects and my risk. I could probably use some hair, but my bald pate is kind of who I am, so I don’t really see wanting to change that either. If the home gym/trainer/masseuse stuff is deemed acceptable for the purposes of the OP then, yeah, I’ll go for that, too. And if kitchen counts, then I’m sure I could do my damnedest to try to eat up that half mil.
Otherwise, nothing.
I have always respected FairyChatMom’s outlook on life, and this confirms it. I would do exactly the same.
My knees need to be fixed but the VA is on the hook for that.
I need to work out but I don’t need a trainer.
So I would hire a good cook to come over and cook me good nutritious meals to help me lose the middle age weight.
I’ll spend it on things I’d love to get fixed, but can’t justify as medically necessary.
[ul]
[li]$50,000-ish to correct my pectus excavatum. It’s not severe enough that anyone has suggested I need to get it done, but I can’t help but think that it has reduced my lung volume some. It certainly impacts my appearance, and I feel like it probably negatively impacts my ability to do some exercises.[/li][li]$20,000-ish to finish fixing my bite. I finally got braces to move my teeth into roughly the correct position (at age 40), but to truly do it “right” involves surgery to widen my upper palate and shift my lower jaw back just a bit. Again, not strictly medically necessary, but it’d be nice to get all my teeth to meet properly.[/li][li]I feel like I should budget some for LASIK, but I feel like last time I asked about it I wasn’t a candidate. Plus, the idea of surgery on my eyes just kind of freaks me out. Maybe I can throw some extra cash at the docs for some really good drugs.[/li][/ul]I think that’s it. I’ve got a touch of scoliosis, but not very bad at all; I don’t think there’s anything that could realistically be done. I’m prone to sinus polyps, but last time I got examined they hadn’t recurred; even when they do I can usually get it covered by insurance.