If your grandfather doesn’t care which of his current wives is your grandmother, you just might be a Romney.
If you were born in a particular state and your dad was a beloved longtime governor there and you STILL only carried the goddamn state in the GOP primary by 4%, you just might be a Romney.
If you’ve moved to the right on every significant public policy issue since 1994, you just might be a Romney.
If the most enthusiastic response you can get from the Republican rank and file is, “Eh, OK, I guess maybe he could beat Obama,” you just might be a Romney.
Well you could have said “Cool story, bro.” 
Or a Trump.
If you wear wingtips with your mom-jeans, you just might be a Romney.
And if your mom jeans are pressed and have creases, you definitely are.
And you walk around with your fist jammed all the way into the front pocket.
And walk like you’ve never worn jeans before.
If you look like you’re uncomfortable in your own skin unless you’re wearing a $2,000 suit, you might be a Romney.
To riff off the original: If you have a working 52" plasma TV in your kitchen, but you don’t know it because you’ve never been in your kitchen, you just might be a Romney.
If John McCain reminded you to count how many houses you own before announcing your candidacy, then you might be a Romney.
This whole thread is gold, but these two particularly made me laugh out loud, for real.
If ‘weight lifting’ means the capacity of your garage’s car elevator, you just might be a Romney.
If your idea of a funny story is your dad closing a car factory, you just might be a Romney!
That article has the Obama campaign responding. Is it time? I thought a campaign never wanted to engage the opposition until the nomination was official.
[/hijack]