The only thing the OPer knows for sure is that they shared a passionate kiss. Unless you’re talking about cold sores, there’s no risk of disease with a kiss.
The husband deserves to know even it’s just kissing (which is not very believable, by the way).
You are right and I don’t believe that nothing more than one “passionate kiss” has transpired either…but if Bob admitted the “passionate kiss” to his wife, then why should we assume that Martha did not do the same?
We (and the OP) don’t know that the husband doesn’t already know about the affair.
It is unlikely, but entirely possible that both injured spouses are aware and have chosen to stay within their respective marriages for reasons that are their own.
Do you really want to take responsibility for what happens if things go really, really wrong after you tell Bob? Could you live with a horrible result?
This is one of the main reasons to stay out of it. It would be different if you knew that you could have a good outcome by taking action. But you don’t know that.
Sometimes we just have to live with things we can’t fix. I’m so sorry that this is falling on your shoulders. But you have to start learning to back off from things that are not your problem to resolve.
Meanwhile, you may need some counseling to get through this.
I wouldn’t be responsible. His cheating wife would be responsible. I would certainly HOPE that things went very wrong for her.
You can tell whomever you like but while it may change the situation it’s not going to change the people. Your mom is still going to have bad taste in men, Bob is still going to be a dillusional cheating ass, Martha is still going to be a cheating ass, Martha’s husband is still going to have bad taste in women.
Believing Bob will suddenly come to his senses when Martha is taken away from him and he will return to your mother and live happily ever after is just a pipe dream.
ejtx, if you heard all this from your mother, she was wrong to have involved you in her marriage. It’s none of your business and it’s put you in a completely untenable place. From here on, I say, stay out of it. If mom wants to tell you stuff, cut her off and suggest she find a counselor - either her minister or a therapist or a lawyer or whatever, but not you. Involving you accomplishes nothing. It’s completely wrong and unfair of her to try to keep you involved. She has problems and she’s making them yours. Do not accept them. She’s an adult; make her act like one. Keep your mouth shut and stay out of her marriage. Let me repeat: none of this is any of your business.
If she does leave Bob and needs help, yes, certainly support her as you can, but otherwise, leave it alone.
Just my humble two cents.