You know what I hate?

When I’m taking a piss and the stream becomes suddenly and inexplicably bifurcated.

Know what I hate? Pecker tracks in my slacks form the last drop or two.

You know how when you put an icepick in your ear and then smack it with a hammer? And how much that hurts? Man, I hate that.

Dude, we’re talking about piss here. For instance:

You know when you pit an icepick on the head of your dick and smack it with a hammer, and then when you take a pee it shoots out in 3 jets? Yeah, I hate that.

You know when your dick is so big that you have to piss into the toilet from the hall? Man, I hate that.

Guys, you need to get closer. Much closer.* Then it won’t matter if your stream is bi- tri- or quadrifurcated.

*To the bowl. But you knew that.

You ever jerk off in the shower using bar soap, and then the soap gets into your urethra and burns like hell after you ejaculate? Man, I hate that.

Now there’s an idea…

Never mind.

And you drive it into your eardrum…I hate it when that happens.

This will answer your question.


Imagine it’s 5am, it’s dark, you’re not wearing your glasses and therefore it takes a while to notice the change in stream.

That’s what I hate.

I hate when someone sews the opening closed and I can’t piss at all. I really hate when that happens.

Hey, I tried spending more time with it, finding out things we had in common, and sharing feelings. You know what it said? Do you?

It didn’t say anything. For god’s sake, people, it’s a freakin’ toilet.

Huh, what you say?

I just took a look at it, and the following thread said “So I had another date”

Pretty much speaks for itself.

- Jack

Bifurcated? Hell, try * hexfurcated*. Wet floor and the mark of the devil all in one.

Ya know when you use the wrong lube to jerk off, and your dick gets dandruff, and starts shedding skin like a snake? Man I really hate that.

Try Astro Glide! How are things in Mad Town?

Ya know what I really hate? When my dick can’t find any outside work in Mad Town, and I have to employ it at home. Man I hate that.

There’s a song for that too! Google Kevin Bloody Wilson “My dicks on the dole, living on handouts again”