You know you’re still groggy when after shutting off your alarm clock you proceed to whack your face against the door jamb. The door jamb has been there for over a century, it ain’t moving. Your face has been in the same place for 30 years, it ain’t moving either. Not hard enough to bruise, just hard enough to make me feel like a dim-witted moron. Maybe for an encore I’ll scrape my thigh across the corner of the kitchen cabinet while stumbling to the bathroom in the morning.
Forget not the classic “scalding-coffee-in-the-crotch syndrome”.
Just say no.
Loverock used smilies, and see where it got him?
Next, try brushing your teeth and opening the medicine cabinet at the same time thereby striking your tooth brush and causing you to brush your larynx.
It’s sooo lovely to start the morning with a good gag.
Is that kinda like getting up and getting dressed for work and heading out the door only to realize you forgot to put on pants??
I kid you not, I’ve done that…but I work at 6a.m. and that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it!! 
Or getting up on a Saturday and heading out for work, and you only work Monday - Friday.
We are, each of us angels with only one wing,and we can only fly by embracing one another
Oh! Oh! I’ve got one!
How about when you drive alllllll the way to work, then discover you’re wearing your slippers?? Been there, done that.
(they weren’t fuzzy ones, they kind of feel like shoes, soles and all)
Love is like popsicles…you get too much you get too high.
Not enough and you’re gonna die…
Click here for some GOOD news for a change Zettecity
Any ladies out there ever forgotten to put on your bra? Done that. And it’s not like I’m small enough to get away with it. I’m a C cup.
Men too, if you wear a bra. 
“The quickest way to a man’s heart is through his ribcage.” --anonymous redhead
Uh… I’m a C cup and I never wear a bra.
–
Teeming Millions: http://fathom.org/teemingmillions
“Meat flaps, yellow!” - DrainBead, naked co-ed Twister chat
O p a l C a t
www.opalcat.com
Or get up late rushing around you run out to crank up the vehicle so it can warm up run back in the house. Collect all your things to leave…walk out the door slamming it behind you. You get to your warming vehicle thinking how nice it will be only to discover that you have locked the door of your car…and your housekey is on the ring with your car keys. So not only do you have a running vehicle but you also have locked yourself out of your house. You ever tried to wake up your neighbors at 5:30 in the morning?
“Do or do not, there is no try” - Yoda
Put the cereal box in the fridge & leave the milk out on the counter.
I’ve got to. The years have not been kind. If I don’t wear one, my chest hurts.
And I’ve done the locking the car & house keys in the running vehicle, too.
“The quickest way to a man’s heart is through his ribcage.” --anonymous redhead
Hubby left a closet door open in the bedroom and I banged it good one night – saw stars, big knot on my forehead.
If people at work hadn’t known him, they would never have believed the “ran into a door” explanation.
Oh! Putting the chicken dinner stuff in the crockpot at 6 a.m. – getting home at 6 p.m., lifting the lid, and realizing that you have to turn the damn thing on!
Did this in 8th grade.
Woke up at 1:30 in the morning (winter time) thinking I was late for school. Got in the shower and about 5 minutes later my mom came down stairs and starting yelling at me.
She couldn’t believe it, “what the hell are you doing in the shower? It’s only 1:30 in the morning…”
Opal: Ain’t it great being a stay-home mom?
“…being normal is not necessarily a virtue. It rather denotes a lack of courage.”
techchick…
I’ve gotten up, shut off the alarm, got dressed, walked to the barn. Then I went to set things up in the milkhouse and noticed the clock said 12 not 3. Walk back to the house…
I used to have a cat who’d drape himself over my shoulders and stay there for hours, just riding around. One miserable morning when I had to be on the bus by 7am I forgot he was there and put my coat on over the cat. He let me know this wasn’t a good idea.
Catrandom (still has the scars)
When I was in high school, I often took zero hour classes (optional classes that start at the cheery hour of 7 am). One day, I accidentally set my alarm clock for an hour early…and arrived at school at 6 am. To do this, I had to wake up at 4:45, something that is almost physically impossible for high school students. My sister is a tenth-grader, and she has trouble being on time to 8:30 classes.
Also, last year my dorm room had the adorable feature of having bookshelves above my head on the bed. (Does that make sense?) I was really unhappy about this, because a. if there was an earthquake at night, they would have fallen on my head. Israelis tried to assure me that there are hardly ever earthquakes there. Didn’t help much, and b. I hit my head on that bottom shelf I don’t know how many times.
~Kyla
“Anger is what makes America great.”
actually went to work one day w/ 2 different colored shoes: one black, one navy blue.
have gone to sleep a few times forgetting to take out my contact lenses.
i’ve moved around so much i was once at work & couldn’t recall right off what state i was in. (7 states in 13 yrs)
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yep, got up, showered and staggered out only to discover it’s only 2 a.m.
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the opposite: hit the snooze alarm, dreamed I was getting up, showering, etc. only to jerk *really>/i> awake an hour later. No shower, no toofs brushed…
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zombied into work w/ ill-assorted grooming stuff; i.e. no earrings, mismatched shoes…
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get into work and can’t for the life of me remember if I put on deodorant. Hey, it’s so automatic, who remembers?? Obssess about it…
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groan, get up, do the zombie-in-the-shower thing–and it’s my day off.
'scuse me, gonna get to bed,
Veb