[sub]psst…You know:[/sub]“It’s not a bug, it’s a…”
You sit and calculate the kinetic energy of your body when you are running full speed. (When I was in high school and very fast for my size, it was approximately equivalent to that of a bullet from a .357 Magnum.)
I once read an anectode by some woman laughing at her father, an engineer.
Apparently he was building a lasagne and was laying the noodles crosswize. When she told him to lay them side-by-side he said, “That’s wouldn’t be structurally sound.” She go a kick out of it.
My first thought on reading it was, “Huh? What’s her problem? He’s right.”
You see an underlined word in print and wish you could click on it.
You can recite the first hundred or more numbers of pi.
You look at a sign and you wonder which font was used to create it.
That is a good one.
My favorite that I’ve seen in RL was a brand-new white Beetle with the plate CAR2D2.
Whenever I am reading the printed word in an attempt to find something in particular, there is much wailing and gnashing of teeth that neither the creator nor evolution thought to include a grep function.
Who needs an appendix? I want my grep!
Ok, now was that was funny.
I don’t know anything about computers, but generally all our conversations are filled with really bad RPG jokes that only gamers would get.
Thought of some more:
I worked at Shoney’s while in college. I remember showing a new girl how to cut the fudge cakes up. They were baked in a huge sheet pan and had to be cut into squares. “Now”, I said, “Even though your pieces will not all be the same size rectangle, you must work them out so that each piece has the same cubic inches of cake in it”. She nodded mutely. Lord knows what she was thinking about me! 
In class one day I observed my professor’s coffe cup. “Hey! Dr. D, the shape of your cup is a hyperbolic paraboloid!”. He said “someone’s been studying too much.”
. . . if you seriously discuss whether “alleviate” or “mitigate” is the correct opposite of “exacerbate.”
. . . if the following makes perfect sense and is in fact a laudable sentiment: “I don’t care what the MLA says, split infinitives are just wrong!”
. . . if you see a full stop inside parens when it should be outside, or outside when it should be inside, and you cringe.
. . . if you know what a serial comma is.
Mmmmmm… HyPar surfaces…
I always am seeing curves like that. Like playing with a lamp with a cylindrical shade on it casting conic sections on the walls.
You can correctly whistle a 300-baud modem hand-shake sequence.
You have 1000101 tatooed as an arm-band (which I do…pervertedness meets geekiness!)
The BOFH is your hero.
–IDB
You can discuss the differences between Asheron’s Call and Asheron’s Call 2 - and why AC2 sucks.
Also, if you use your avatar’s name as your sign in name in non-game boards.
If you had to buy a second computer, so that you and your husband both have characters online at the same time, so you can quest together.
That you divide friends into online and not - and you call online friends by their avatar’s names.
You can convert characters to ASCII code (expressed in binary, hex, or decimal) and back without a table.
Reading all the webcomics you have bookmarked takes over an hour (on a broadband connection).
You have enough loose computer parts in your closet to build a whole new computer.
You’re still laughing at the FEATURE licence plate on the VW bug. 
Fellow geeks! Yay! 
More RPG geekness:
…you own a D&D player’s handbook
…you have more than one D&D character
…you know that MUSH is not oatmeal
…you complain about MUSH newbies who can’t write a pose longer than two lines
Tolkien geekness:
…you own a copy of the Silmarillion
…you have read the Silmarillion
…you watch FOTR and TT, pointing out all the deviations from The Book
…you know the difference between Noldor, Sindar and Silvan Elves
…you read the Shire genealogy in LOTR
…you know who Gandalf really is (hint: not human)
Geology geekness:
…when going through photos from a family trip, it is automatically assumed that you took the ones of Interesting Rock Formations that look like A Boring Lot Of Rocks to the uneducated 
…your idea of a fun Saturday afternoon is attending the local gem and mineral show
…you insist on seeing the gem and mineral exhibit at the county fair
…family and friends bring unidentified rocks to you and ask what they are. You can usually provide an answer.
…while vacationing at the beach, you spend much of your time chipping away at the local shale cliffs trying to find fossils
…you succeed in finding aforementioned fossils!
…you know the geological history of your area and will happily explain it at the drop of a hat
…you know why one should never take a gneiss for granite (and why it’s funny)
"You know you’re a martial arts geek when
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You use a crescent kick to close your cupboards.
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You spear-hand the elevator button.
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You fall down, fall properly, and kiyap when you fall… on the sidewalk in winter…
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Your friends all run screaming when you say “Hey, I just learned this… grab me!” to them.
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You’ve spent hours and hours doing wall-running, and don’t understand why people think its so cool in the Matrix… you do it every week… without wires.
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You do staff spins and strikes with anything of a decent enough length that comes into your hands.
Again, many of these gripped from internet sources…"
Other than the wall running, this is an apt description of myself as well.
My old Georgia license plate read “IFTHEN”. I got comments both from programmers AND mathemeticians.
You might be an irredeemable HARDCORE computer geek if:
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hearing about someone needing to “man bash” instantly makes you think they probably just need to use shell escapes.
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Not only have you upgraded the BIOS on your computer, but you’ve upgraded the BIOS on your CD-ROM drive, and you’ve hacked and modified the BIOS on your videocard.
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You have more machines than monitors by a factor of three.
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You have more operating systems than monitors by a factor of two.
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You consider Star Trek fans a lowly form of geekiness. Real geeks watch Hong Kong kung-fu flicks, in the original chinese and english subtitles.
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Someone asks a Unix question, and you know three different answers to their question. All of which are correct.
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You scan the comments in kernel source code for jokes.
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You’ve found your name in someone you don’t know’s tech blog.
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Your first questions when considering buying anything new frequently involve capacity and bandwidth.
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You’ve ever used the words “network-attached fault-tolerant array”, referring to something you’ve built.
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You’ve ever installed Linux on a WebTV-style set-top box.
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You’ve got pictures of computer hardware on your hard drive.
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Pictures you took.
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Of your own computer hardware.
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You’ve ever seriously considered rewriting vBulletin in Perl instead of PHP, to access the cached-code speedup that mod_perl provides under Apache, and replace their crap code with a much more scalable system which statically generates pages only upon modify or create events to avoid the immense overhead of unnecessary active content regeneration, and you’ve gone so far as to read Jelsoft’s product features page and can spot at least six horrifically bad assumptions they make about how well their code scales due to lack of knowledge about application streamlining, bottlenecks, database access, and portability, as well as four obvious signs that they don’t know squat about making enterprise-quality scalable code… all because you want to turbocharge the damn hamsters.
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You not only understood the previous paragraph, but you have some comments to post about it.
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You type faster than 60wpm, and you don’t touch-type.
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You’ve ever used one motherboard in more than three computer cases.
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You consider a domain name to be a valid birthday gift.
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You’ve ever written a program to find available domain names generated from a list of randomly-generated compound words.
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You send email instead of using a phone with your closest friends, without fear of them missing it.
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You remember your friends’ email addresses, but have to look up their phone numbers.
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You wrote an accepted submission for rec.humor.funny in 1992, and Google finds multiple modified versions of it.
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You’ve ever spent most of a workday posting to SDMB.
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You’ve ever used an emoticon in a handwritten message.
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You’ve voided a warranty on something you just bought, to make it better than the manufacturer intended.
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You have not only done your geek code, but you’ve got suggestions on how to improve the code.
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You know what the $1 Patent Club is, and you’re a member.
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You aren’t considering putting a computer in every room in the house, because that’s a terrible waste of hardware and space, when all you need is properly-built thin clients and a centralized server…
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You’ve ever wired a house. One you didn’t own. With Ethernet.
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You’ve ever looked at a house with a tin roof and wondered what the RF shielding was like inside.
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You’ve actually done the testing for the above.
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Your first concern when buying or renting is the accessibility of broadband.
I can think of more, but I’ll leave it be for a while…
I only have one ATM,
You send IMs and email to your SO who is on her computer in the dining room from your computer in the living room instead of just asking out loud.
Raise your hand if you really did go to click on that…
raises his hand
You know you’re a superhero geek if…
*You believe that wishing for more than one mutant power is a must
*You can correctly name over 85% of the DC owned characters on a poster.
*When you read mostly Marvel comics
*You’ve wondered just how many G’s Superman must pull when flying at top speed
…if you try to “undo” your faux pas.
…if you often think that traffic would be so much simpler if your car had a rear-mounted chaingun. (OR if you instinctively think “no problem, I can just drive off the road…”)
…if you’ve ever tried to adjust the Hue/ Saturation while working on a real painting.
…if you complain about 192 kbps as “low quality.”
…if you respond to your screen name as readily as to your given name (guilty as charged!) - and, by corollary, if you’ve used the same screen name for more than half a decade.
OH.
MY.
GOD.
That has got to be one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard in my life