OK. Fine. I have the flu. I am simultaneously bored and stupid.
-He’s been re-assigned for parts.
-He’s pining for the fjords (gotta get just one in there).
-He’s moved to Tallahassee.
-He’s our new partner. Want to join the boys for dinner? (Is this a give good news in a bad way or bad news in a bad way thing?)
-He’s working late tonight. We thought we’d stop by so you wouldn’t worry.
You know how your kid’s not home from school yet? The principal calls and says…
When they answer the door, hand them a box about the size of a grapefruit and say “Here’s Johnny!”
It also works for Fluffy or Fido.
I’m reminded of an old joke from the 1970s when telegrams still existed but had become really, really rare. And singing telegram services were around for occasions like birthdays & such.
Telegram messenger rings doorbell, shouts “Telegram!”.
Man answers door.
Messenger: "I have a telegram for John Smith.
Man: “I’m John Smith. is this a singing telegram? I’ve always wanted to get a singing telegram.”
Messenger: “No sir.”
Man: “Oh please, just this once can you sing it to me?!”
Messenger: “Sir, I really don’t think you want me to do that.”
Man: “Oh yes I do; please, please!”
Messenger: “Okaaay …”
Messenger: Tweets on pitch pipe. “One anna two anna … Sue and the kids are dead!”