I was expecting him to suddenly be worth 10 points at scrabble…
Anyway, can anyone think of rules that limit three wishes’ power reasonably? Everything I can think of either allows you to become effectively omnipotent, allows the genie to screw you over arbitrarily, or leaves it to the discretion of the genie.
Metawishes are the way to go:
I wish for the granting of my wishes without the side effects or specific implementations granted by a malolevent genie.
Actually, I don’t always even use it for its wish depending on the game I’ve played. If I’m playing a combat character with limited access to magic mapping, I very often will WANT that permanent lightsource, especially during the early game and the end game.
Brian, whom has ascended S and V.
But it’s ok for side effects or specific implementations granted by a benevolent genie?
I might wish to always have access to a fresh bottle of wish-granting genie.
I call it “The Gift of Deus ex Machina.”
Any time I’m in a bind, I’d be able to look around and find a bottle housing a grateful-for-release djinn.
I dunno. You could include the provision that the wishes come with a mystical and unreplenishable power source equal to, say, an octillion (10^27) ergs. That’s about as much power as the USA uses in a year, or the mass-equivalent (by E=mc^2) of around a ton. When the power is gone, no more magical stuff happens, though any physical changes you’ve made to things would remain in effect.
This has the side-effect of encouraging prudent use of wishes. If you want to kill germs or divert bullets you can keep going for millennia, but if you want to start turning mountains to gold you’ll burn through it pretty damn fast.
I wish I didn’t need any wishes.
The answer is obvious and well documented.
Wish Three
I wish for your freedom.
Now, if you used the first two wishes wisely you have omnipotent friend for life.
“I wish for another lamp-with-genie.”
You can make that your second or third wish. Repeat wish with each new genie, as is neccesary.
Woohoo! I’m in someone’s sig!
I’d wish that I’d encounter another get-three-wishes situation at regular one year intervals for the rest of my life.
Since the standard statement of the clause generally seems to be “I will grant you three wishes, and you may not wish for more wishes”, you simply use your last wish to ask for two additional wishes. Note that two is not more than three. This buys you one extra wish at a time, at least until the Plot forces you to use two wishes in quick succession.
Assuming the genie slaps me in the face for that and says, “No!”…
Wish 1) I wish for the ability to work any magic that I’ve heard or read of, except for wish magic.
Wish 2) I wish to be immune to any side effects of magic use that I consider harmful including, but not limited to, damnation, rapid aging, and a tendency to wear pointy hats.
Wish 3) I wish for all material requirements for my magic to be waived, thus eliminating the need for, say, a 20-foot cube of unobtainium each time I want to cast my “Massage Feet” cantrip.
I would use the resulting power for the good of myself and others–mostly others, unless they piss me off. Then they can find their own &@*# genie.
Then one day, with all your power, you’ll be tired, and think to yourself “Wouldn’t it be great if I could just sleep forever?” and poof, we’d never see you again.
I have decided to re-think my position on the matter, and after much thought I decided to go with the Saturday Night Live Christmas wish because I think it covers all the pitfalls listed above.
[deep reverberating god-like voice]
*** ALL ENCOMPASSING POWER OVER EVERYTHING IN THE UNIVERSE ***
[/deep reverberating god-like voice]
Yeah Genie! I got yer wishes - right here!
** Scuba_Ben ** wrote… (and similar from others)
So what the hell happened? Its like I was throwing rocks at an RPGer’s nest and they all just came out of the wood work. Is there some type of D&D/RPG which involves female genies? (Possessed, no doubt, of large grapefruit-like breasts (to paraphrase some of Cecil’s comments on the matter ) and wishes? I never played any. Did it sound like I was playing one?
** quothz ** wrote…
Here lies Janx, he died of stack overflow…sheesh.
** Vlad Dracul ** wrote…
I thought of something along these lines, not having it implanted though - yuggy. I nixed the Idea because I’d louse the durn thing some how or another.
I cant manage to keep a pair of sun glasses, imagine a “magical talisman”.
** ResIpsaLoquitor ** wrote…
This really rubs my nose in it. I thought I was clever, I thought I was smart, I thought I was really on my way to wish loop hole stardom, then comes along someone like ** ResIpsaLoquitor ** with such a amazingly simple plan, it just makes me want to go back to bed!
** Johnny Bravo ** wrote…
Oh man! I haven’t laughed that hard in weeks (notice how I did not blow my beverage all over the screen/key board). Where did you come up with this stuff Johnny, you are obviously one evil bastard. I’m glad you wouldn’t be my genie, I can almost here your cackling, banshee like laughter in the background now. (wouldn’t that just make a damn fine sig line?)
** JasonFin ** wrote…
See, where are you going to come across wishes like this, (or people who make wishes like this), except the on SDMB.
[hijack]
** OpalCat ** wrote…
I know you don’t know me, even though I visit your web site 30 - 40 times a day, subscribe to your news letter, am on your ya-hool list, mention you in my tag line, do vanity searches of your user name on the SDMB every day and am watching you through my binoculars right this very moment.
Will you be my friend.
[/by-jack]
I wish for a cheese sandwich… just because.
Wish? Did somebody say wish?
Mekka lekka hai, mekka heinie ho!
Long live Jambi!
I think my wishes are rather more modest:
1 - Wish for life-long good health.
2 - Wish to always have enough money to be the 1000th wealthiest person in the world. (You want enough to live very well, but be beneath the radar).
3 - Wish to live to at least 70 Terran years.
And never wish for the freedom of the genie: it can be a trap to ensnare the wisher as the new genie.
Here’s a nice one: I wish that you will suffer eternal, unending, irrervisable, and all-around really nasty torment should you grant my wishes in a manner that either I do not approve leaves me in a condition that I would not approve of before making my wishes.
A genie would have no problem agreeing to that. What do you think his forced servitude is? 
If I ever did find a genie, all of my wishes would be contracts, effective upon signing, that had been vetted by several lawyers and DMs for loopholes.
For example:
Upon the signing of this contract I will hereby officially wish for a bank account at [Bank] containing 5 million US dollars. The conditions are as follows:
a. The money in the account will be accessible to me. I and only I will know the password to the account, and I will be able to withdraw or deposit money freely.
b. The money will be my money. The 5 million dollars will be the amount after any necessary taxes. The money will not have been taken from any other person.
x______________
I expect someone to come and poke holes in this, since it has not in fact been vetted by several people; indeed, I whipped it up on the spot.
It’s sort of sad that I’ve thought this through before.
:eek:
pulls towel around tighter