LANGUISHED
Living at NEWCASTLE gaol, Umlaut is sadly hoping early death.
Now, EDWINA will call all students to learn English.
EDWINA
English DOESN’T wane in North America.
Did Oscar escape so nicely TUESDAY?
TUESDAY
The untimely electrocution still DISTURBS all Yetis.
DISTURBS
Don’t IRRITATED Sherpas tell untruths regarding Bigfoot sightings.
“I rarely return irradiated TAMBOURINES and trumpets,” Edwina declared.
That awful man barfed on us! Really? It’s not even SATURDAY!
SATURDAY!
Sally ACTUALLY told us Richard doesn’t always yell!
Artists can’t truly understand a LAMENTABLY laughable Yankee.
LAMENTABLY
Let’s all master every necessary TENET again before losing yesterday.
TENET
The earth never expects TOPOGRAPHY.
Those old pornographers own gloriously raunchy APARTMENTS, paying high yields.
A particularly awful religious tract might encourage New TESTAMENT slavery.
TESTAMENT
To eat soft TURTLE appetizer meat earns no treats.
Turn up regular titles LEXICOGRAPHERS expect.
Let’s elect xylophonists into congress, otherwise grappling Reganites and PODUNK heretics earn respect; sad.
PODUNK
Patton Oswalt’s dope UMIAQ never kerplunks.
UMIAQ
Unknown MASSACHUSETTS invalids acquired quinine.
MASSACHUSETTS
Made a solution seeking a cure - hives, upset stomach every THURSDAY toward sundown.