I work in a salon as an assistant/receptionist. Recently, the owner took on an apprentice to do acrylic nails. The new apprentice is a 22-year-old nutjob. I hate this girl so much I’m not sure I can continue to work for the salon. I’ve never left a job because of a co-worker, but I’m damned close.
Yesterday she did my nails for practice. We were together for 2 hours, and by the end of it, I was so angry I needed to go home. That’s right. I left work early because of a conversation with this stupid bitch.
It all started because we were discussing this incident. The girl discussed in the linked thread is a hairdresser where I work. The apprentice and I were talking about what happened to her when the apprentice casually remarked “I never thought (hairdresser) would be a murderer.”
I just stared at her for a minute before saying “what?” She repeated her stance, and I told her that (hairdresser) had had the abortion because of her doctor’s advice. I said that the fetus was severely damaged and probably would have miscarried anyway. Also that the mother had a hideous infection in her uterus and fallopian tubes. The apprentice just stared at me blankly and shrugged. “She’s still a murderer,” she announced. “It’s not up to her to decide when a baby gets to die. God has a plan and she shouldn’t mess with it.”
I won’t transcribe the entire conversation here, but it escalated into her calling my friend and co-worker a murderer, a sinner, evil, etc. She also claimed to have had a tubal pregnancy at one time that she refused to have terminated. I told her that tubal pregnancies do not right themselves and need medical attention to be removed, and she looked at me and said that I just didn’t understand. She claimed to have kept the tubal pregnancy until the fetus died on its own before having it removed.
Also, at another time in the conversation she said that she wouldn’t see “Alexander” because Colin Farrell plays a “homo” in it, and that’s just not right.
I’m not starting this thread to have a discussion about pro-choice and pro-life. I respect a person’s stance on abortion. What angered me so much was her verbal attack on my friend and the hideous things she said about her. I’m still mad about it. Last night, I felt sick from thinking about it so much. :mad:
You know, honestly, you might want to talk to the owner of the salon about this girl; I don’t know that the owner will let her go because she’s making you want to quit, but just think of what this will do for business if the girl starts talking this way to paying clients! That’s what the owner is most likely focused on, and that’s how you should approach him about it, IMHO.
**Alias **, I agree with you here. I’m pretty tolerant of other people’s beliefs, even if those beliefs don’t jive with mine. However, I draw the line when someone belittles the beliefs of someone else, particularly when it doesn’t have anything to do with the task at hand (what the hell do abortions have anything to do with hairdressing? )
I agree with norinew, you should go with the “how will this affect customers” route. It’s more professional and will still get your point across. Those kinds of comments have absolutely no place in a business establishment, especially one that serves customers of undoubtably differing religious and political beliefs.
The girl either has to go, or get seriously schooled in what is and what is not appropriate to discuss in the workplace.
Whether your co-worker has a Gump-like IQ or not, if she started the conversation about your friends situation she’s the idiot. If you did, you’re the idiot. Anything that involves the willful termination of a fetus, whether medical justifed or not, hits moral and ethical hot buttons like a five year old playing Whack a Mole. These topics should be avoided as part of social conversations with co-workers that you do not wish to turn into ugly debates regarding the sanctity of life, and who can or should be able to terminate a pregnancy.
I’m as pro-life as they come, but when it’s a tubal dammit the mother is going to die. What? She thinks both parties should die? Nuts.
That said, I can’t see trying to get the girl fired over this (I’m not saying you’re going to or want to, I’m just talking about the idea in general because, true to form, the idea has already been mentioned in this thread). There is pretty much nothing worse than a tattletale. If she continues to say stupid things, she’s going to get herself fired. I don’t see how it’s needed for you to get involved, because let’s face it, you’re just pissed because of what she said. Let’s not pretend this is about the customers, because you probably won’t benefit if she does more nails because you’re probably paid hourly (feel free to correct if I’m wrong, I’ve never worked in a salon). If this were really about the customers, you’d be mad either way because conversations about abortions of employees, regardless of the circumstances, are completely out of line.
What I just said goes double if you were the one who started the conversation.
And if you’re ready to quit over this, I’ve gotta wonder how you’re going to deal with the rest of your life. You will never work in an environment where everyone agrees with you and never offends you. Nor will you ever find a place that doesn’t have at least one nutjob. Maybe you live in an area where jobs are plentiful, but if not I can’t see you quitting a good job and hindering your own ability to pay your bills just because of some apprentice. If you quit over this girl, you’re only hurting yourself. Maybe you will have made a point, and maybe quitting a job on principle has a time and a place (Enron, etc.). Either way, your lights aren’t going to stay on just because you “took a stand” and quit. Sometimes you’ve just gotta let things slide and pick your battles.
Wait, when did she talk to customers about her views? If you willingly engaged in conversation with her and heard some opinions you didn’t like, well, it’s pit worthy, but if she doesn’t share her views with customers, I don’t see that as necessitating her firing.
The woman obviously doesn’t have social graces, and if you want to manipulate the powers that be so that the situation changes in your (and probably every one else’s) favor, it’s probably best to mention that an inappropriate conversation was had that could scare customers away. Why should you leave leave a job where you’re presumably happy when you may have an easier course of action?
However, as I was reading the OP, I started to think, “I can’t believe she discussed this with someone who is more or less a stranger.” This isn’t a judgement, but perhaps there is a lesson to be learned on both sides here.
I actually sympathize with her. I consider my hair and nails to be living things. God has a plan for when my hair will fall out and I refuse to get it cut (or wash it for that matter). Nails will eventually break off when they get too long.
Tell her that discussing controversial topics will undoubtedly piss off people and are inappropriate when at work. She’s an employee first, and there’s no reason for an employee to voice their opinion on abortions at a salon.
I’m sorry about your friend, and I do hope she fully recovers.
Right, but didn’t Alias willingly start talking about it? Then the onus is just as much on her as this other woman to keep conversations in the salon professional.
Nothing. This woman just ddin’t think a hairdresser would ever have one, perhaps because based on personal experience she thinks hairdressers are too stupid to fuck.
I don’t believe Alias started it. The girl who had the abortion brought it up with her co-workers, because she’d been sick for months and people were concerned and wanted to know what was wrong. Then the evil manicurist wouldn’t shut up about it for the rest of the day. Because Alias works with her, she had to hear it, but she didn’t start the conversation.
At least, that’s the impression I got when Alias and I last talked about it. She can (and will) correct me if I’m wrong.
Yes, but it looks like Alias was keeping personal beliefs out of it.
Where as Alias was just talking about her friend’s medical condition, I took this to mean it was the apprentice who actually voiced her opinion on abortion.
And you know, if you have a brain in your head, and if you want to avoid contention in the workplace, even WHEN someone else brings up a controversial subject (like abortion, homosexuality, whatever) you keep your opinions to yourself as much as possible. Don’t bring up your opinion, especially if not asked, and if you are asked, try to keep inflammatory words such as “murder” out of your answer.
You should have congratulated her on her fortitude and inflexible moral standards, reminding her that one tubal pregnancy puts her at increased risk of having another*, with a substantial chance (if she again does nothing) of having it rupture, and wind up suffering a nasty demise from hemorrhage and/or peritonitis. But in such an instance she should forego antibiotics and surgery. Whatever happens is, after all, God’s plan and she shouldn’t mess with it.
*“Previous ectopic pregnancy becomes a more significant risk factor with each successive occurrence. With one previous ectopic pregnancy treated by linear salpingostomy, the recurrence rate ranges from 15 to 20 percent, depending on the integrity of the contralateral tube.1,9 Two previous ectopic pregnancies increase the risk of recurrence to 32 percent…”
Okay, let me clarify a few things. One, there were no clients in the manicure room at the time of the conversation. Two, it started because the apprentice wasn’t sure what exactly had happened to (hairdresser), and asked me if she was okay. The hairdresser had told everyone just the bare basics of the situation, and the apprentice innocently asked me what that all meant. Like a fool, I explained it to her because I thought it would end there. I mean, we’re co-workers and see eachother every day. I thought I knew what to expect from this girl. I wasn’t asking for a debate about abortion, I just told her about (hairdresser)'s illness. I was shocked when she said the things she did.
As for calling her fat, let me expound. Because I hate this person intensely, every flaw she possesses is magnified 100 times in my eyes. I know the difference between glandular fat and fat fat. This girl is FAT FAT. She eats gravy on french fries, for god’s sake. I admit it has nothing to do with this rant, but COME ON!!! Gravy on french fries!!!
