You Useless Waste of Oxygen.

I do so hope that you find yourself facing some kind of urgent need from a bureaucracy, and some paper-rattling, “I-don’t-have-to-exert-myself-to-help-you” twit declines your request with the same smug, “you’re not being reasonable,” that you just gave me.

Last Thursday night/Friday morning, I sent an email to my parents’ PCP. I informed him of the general condition of both my parents, and that my Mother was having a discharge meeting scheduled for Monday of this week. I outlined my belief that because my mother’s heart incident was stress-related it is imperative that we get my father out of the house before, or as, my mother comes home.

I then added a paragraph about the possibility that we’d need scripts, or authorizations from the doctor, and a (demonstrably vain) hope that he would be ready to provide such as it was determined that they’d be necessary.

Well, yesterday we got into finalizing the plans for my father. We’ve found a respite care room that he seems qualified for, in an excellent facility, with wonderful people. And we’re all set to have Dad move in for a month, while we set up a more permanent solution.

We just need a doctor to sign off on Dad’s medical history, and clear him for assisted living.

And Dad’s doctor is out of town this week. And none of the other doctors in the practice are willing to consider doing a damned thing about this. If we had been told Friday that getting permissions this week would be difficult we could have sped any of the paperwork requirements through last week. But no one ever got back to us about this.

So, now you’re sitting there, smugly telling me that it’s not reasonable to expect a doctor’s office to be able to fill out a form quickly to reduced stress on a woman who just had the next-best thing to a heart attack. A condition that was definitely stress-induced, and whose single greatest source of stress is caring for, and living with, my father.

And you want me to have them living together for the coming weekend. When they can barely keep from sniping at each other with hourly visits these days?

You have the gall to tell me that I’m being unreasonable?

You, when the office of my father’s PCP has never spoken directly with me about my father or my mother’s care and treatment since the day you were informed by me about my mother’s cardio-myopathy? Who has on record that you are not supposed to talk to my father about any medical information - because he’s terrible about passing on messages, or giving out clear details.

When you have had a record this summer of forgetting to pass on test results to other doctors; When your office did cost my father one surgery date by failing to provide the neurosurgeon with timely information; When you’ve lost records, and only gotten primly compliant with strict HIPPA rules after you were called on not following the communications protocols we’d requested several times; When you can’t follow those fucking communications protocols, even now.

And you’re telling me I’m being unreasonable?

You’re damned tooting right I’m being unreasonable. This is the straw that broke the camel’s back. You just lost two patients. I will see to it my parents find a new PCP. Both of them. And take their pharmacy business elsewhere as well. I will blacken your name any time people bring up medical care. I will do everything in my power to see that your facility is metaphorically burned down, and the lot it stands upon sown with salt and made to be a blight upon the memory of those unfortunates who recognize what the sterile, stunted field used to be.

If you could fucking communicate in a timely manner, I would have been glad to do what needed to be done to get the paperwork to you last week. But you frigging arrogant tin-plated dieties see no need to accommodate any one else’s imperatives. Just your own.

Fortunately, I do have at least one idea that I think might work: My father is being co-managed in his treatment with a GP working out of the local VA clinic.

Yes. You filthy worthless wastes of oxygen - you’re proving yourselves to be less useful and responsive than the VA. My father is of the generation that used to use the expression: “Why pay for lab rats when veterans are free.” And we both believe that the VA will be more helpful, and more responsive than you are.

Just be glad I don’t have the franchise for oxygen permits. You wouldn’t be able to pay enough for more than about 200 liters a day.


My Dr. woes are done, here’s hoping yours find a swift resolution. Or if not, you can give them a swift resolution right up the backside with your boot.

Sierra Indigo, that’s great to hear that you’re done with Dr. woes!

Well, we’re getting some work-arounds in place. As I said in the OP. So I think we’re still on schedule.

(If not I bring Mom to their office, and let them figure out where she’s staying Thursday.)

Sorry to hear this OtakuLoki. Hope things clear up very, very soon.

Let’s hear it for friendship!
After I’d had my brainstorm, yesterday, about the VA (which seems to have been on track - when I got a hold of the social worker with the VA she’d been getting ready to get everything set up for me with the doctor there) I remember that Dad’s neurologist had said at a recent doctor’s visit, “If there’s anything I can do to help, please call me.”

So I did. :smiley:

I didn’t actually talk to the doctor. I did talk to his secretarial staff, and got through why I felt this was urgent, and that I couldn’t get any help from Dad’s PCP office. They presented the request to the doctor - who began with a perfectly understandable note explain this sort of thing should be done by the PCP. I explained to this other secretary that I agreed with her and with the doctor. But Dad’s PCP and his office were being supremely unhelpful.

So, he did go through and filled out the form as best he was able, and that’s proven sufficient for the independent living facility to allow Dad to move in tomorrow!

phew I’ll be doing some pre-packing for Dad’s move tonight, and making lists of all that needs to be brought. While all this will be busy making for the next couple of days, I’m finally going to get to relax this weekend! Yeah!

(And I’m still going to be pushing my parents to find a new PCP)

It seems that yesterday afternoon, while I was out getting some groceries, my dad took a call from the PCP’s office. The woman I spoke with earlier was calling to let Dad know that the form we’d needed had been filled out and signed by one of the other doctors in the office.

About 30 hours after I was assured by this woman that it would be impossible for any other doctor at the practice to fill it out and sign it, and that I was being unreasonable for wanting and expecting a timely turn-around on this paperwork.

What I suspect happened is that after the neurologist I mentioned in my previous post found out that we couldn’t get the form filled out from the PCP, he took a few minutes before or after filling out what he could, to blister somebody’s ear.


Well, good. I’m glad things are working out as well as possible in your situation and I hope things continue to go as well as possible. And I hope that the PCP’s office is more cooperative for the next person in your shoes. Best wishes for you and your parents all round.

I had the pleasure of making the day of one of the women in the neurologist’s office today. On the “blow job principle” I wanted to make sure to reward behavior I appreciate. So I stopped a local nursery and picked up a small flowering plant, that I was assured wasn’t a hard one to care for, and a card for the doctor.

So I come into the office, and see the one woman (okay - I keep thinking “girl.” Not because I think that all women are immature or incapable. Rather her voice, on the phone sounded young. Seeing her in person, she looked maybe 17.) who I had first talked with, and whom I’d had the sense to write down her name.

Once I confirmed that she was whom I had spoken with, I gave her the flower, and the card for the doctor, and thanked her, and everyone else in the office - letting her know that I wanted the whole office to share in the flowers, because I know that it was more than just one woman who had helped me.

She was flustered and as cute as a button with it.

So I had a nice smile to remember today with all the running around I had to do today with getting Mom out of the hospital and Dad into the facility.

That was really nice of you.

Now write a letter explaining how co-operative and effective the neurologist and the staff were, and send it to every insurance carrier and PCP whose address you can find. (Email is fine.)

Then write a letter of appreciation to the neurologist for the responsiveness of the staff. Send a hard copy directly to the young woman who was so helpful.

Even plants die; written recommendations are forever.

Squeeee. that is great!

Hope it means we wont be losing the occasional movie decompression and Jay’s Diner evenings …

Did we ever figure out what we wanted to go see thanksgiving weekend?

I sure hope they’re still on! :slight_smile:

I haven’t any idea what movie to go see, yet. Any ideas will be cheerfully accepted.