Ok, these recent threads about sex have got me thinking that perhaps we need some expert advice on this subject. After much thought I’ve decided that Night Ranger, a group of men renowned throughout history for their blazing intellect and embodiment of all that is right and good about humankind, might be able to shed some light on the problems we’ve been wrestling with here at the SDMB. I took the lyrics from one of their songs (‘Streetlight People’, a song so loaded with meaning and emotion that I cry like a small child every time I hear it) and deconstructed the message hidden therein. What Night Ranger says is revealed below:
Don’t Stop Believin’
<Do Not Give Up Hope for a Stable Relationship Resulting from Casual Sexual Contact>
Night Ranger
<Nocturnal Scout-possibly for the casual sexual contacts mentioned above>
Just a small town girl, livin’ in a lonely world
First subject is a relatively young, human female residing in an isolated rural environment, which leads to feelings of social alienation from her peers
She took the midnight train goin’ anywhere
The subject took a rail-based transportation device away from her restrictive environment without concern for its destination.
Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit
Second subject is a relatively young, human male residing in an impoverished environment in a large urban center.
He took the midnight train goin’ anywhere.
This subject also utilized a rail-based transportation device without regard for it’s final destination although his motives for doing so are unclear.
A singer in a smoky room
A lyricist, probably accompanied by some form of musical accompaniment (i.e. a ‘band’, such arrangements typically include one or more stringed instruments and some sort of percussive device) is performing in a room cloudy with secondhand smoke—the result of excessive cigarette consumption combined with poor ventilation. Note: This is a setting change, both of the subjects mentioned in the first verse have obviously managed to arrive at this destination independently of one another.
A smell of wine and cheap perfume
A strong scent of a grape-based alcoholic beverage and inexpensive, commercially manufactured fragrances permeates the air. The overall picture of this environment is that is frequented by members of the lower social castes in human society.
For a smile they can share the night
By exhibiting a standard simian greeting behavior (in this case contracting the musculature around the mouth to make the ends of the lips rise), these two individuals are signaling their readiness to engage in casual sexual contact with one another. Although not explicitly stated, it is heavily inferred that both individuals do in fact engage in the aforementioned behavior.
It goes on and on and on and on
This type of behavior is fairly common and has been so for quite some time. It seems feasible that this behavior will also continue relatively unchanged into the foreseeable future.
Strangers waiting, up and down the boulevard
Another setting change—this time to the street on which the establishment in which the subjects met is located. This street is apparently frequented by individuals which engage in the same type of behavior as the two subjects on a regular basis. One can infer that this street also has many of the same sorts of establishments which cater to this behavior located on it.
Their shadows searching in the night
These individuals are engaging in a constant search, primarily conducting during nocturnal hours, for casual sexual contact
Streetlight people, living just to find emotion
These individuals are also ‘living in the moment’ and not employing any sort of long-term reproductive strategy.
Hiding, somewhere in the night
This activity, although apparently widespread, is not socially condoned and must take place furtively.
Working hard to get my fill
The individual singing this song is actively engaging in casual reproductive activity.
everybody wants a thrill
This desire to procreate with a wide variety of partners is fairly strong throughout homo sapiens, undoubtedly due to strong biological pressures.
Payin’ anything to roll the dice,
The price of this behavior is rather high both in terms of exposure to sexually transmitted pathogens, psychologically damaging encounters with incompatible sexual partners, and the high likelihood of unplanned insemination.
just one more time
However, the probability that these events will occur during a single encounter are relatively small; therefore they do not deter casual sexual activity (at least for this particular demographic group).
Some will win, some will lose
Some individuals will be successful in their quest for casual sexual contact; others will not.
Some were born to sing the blues
And some individuals, either due to their physical or psychological characteristics, will repeatedly be unable to engage in this sort of behavior, leading to hormonally induced depression. This depression may manifest itself in an otherwise unexplained attraction to a style of music known for its slow, melancholic tones.
Oh, the movie never ends
This type of behavior is timeless—the use of the word ‘movie’ here implies that there is some kind of voyeuristic entertainment to be gleaned from it in addition to its reproductive value.
It goes on and on and on and on
As stated above, this behavior occurs frequently and will probably continue to occur frequently in the foreseeable future.
chorus
Don’t stop believin’
The singer now urges the ‘CSC’ demographic to not give up hope for a stable relationship resulting from casual sexual contact
Hold on to the feelin’
Instead, they should utilize the elevated serotonin levels (and other neurophysiological effects which Pavlov identified during his experiments) resulting from a successful CSC to perpetuate this behavior until, by the law of averages, they should eventually find a compatible long-term reproductive partner.
Streetlight people
Having concluded his advice on successful reproduction, the singer repeats the term ‘streetlight people’ (i.e. the practitioners of the CSC reproductive strategy) to ensure that his demographic realizes that he is intending for them to be the primary recipients of this information.
