Do you want to leave people engrossed in thought, laughing until their sides hurt, or feebly trying to correct your logic, distracted so you can swipe their lunch? Well listen up!
You just have to use my world-famous if-not-never principles.
Here are the basic laws:
Not and never are the same thing, to make your statements sound more grammatical. (goes with nor, non-, ect. too)
Move the not/never around in your sentence. It won’t sound correct, but you can tweak it a little. Example: I never eat fatty foods=I eat never fatty foods=I eat not fatty foods=I always eat non-fatty foods
Here’s where it gets confusing. Suppose something=something-else. Then not-something=not-something-else. (I got this from an SD column, try and find out which one)
Using math principles xy=-x-y. So not x=not y. This should work with words too. Example: Not never=notnever=not notnot never=always*ever. Result: Not never=ever. True
Use common sense
Here’s the example that had my freind rolling on the floor: I’ll show my steps. I didn’t use all of the laws, but they help alot in other principles.
Take the phrase “Laughter is the best medicine”
Laughter=best medicine (5)
Not laughing=not best medicine (3)
Not laughing=worst medicine (5)
Therefore, if you are sick and there is nothing funny going on, you might as well kill yourself, because it would be better for you. (6)
This was my first phrase transformation, so it is principle #1.
If you have any more, please post them (showing steps wanted, not required).