Please turn in your membership card at the door. Try to retire with dignity, like Johnny Carson;just count your money and keep out of the spotlight:
Quentin Tarrantino
Ellen DeGeneres
Jewel
Ethan Hawke
TLC
Wesley Snipes
Alannis Morrissette
Juliette Lewis
Emilio Estevez
Vince Neil
Christina Applegate
Michael Richards
Alicia Silverstone
Paula Abdul
Perry Farrell
Glenn Close
Patrick Swayze
Mare Winningham
The entire male cast of “American Pie”
Still out there, but should retire anyway:
Sting
Keanu Reeves
Al Pacino
Oliver Stone
You’ve had 14 minutes - 15 is approaching:
Arnold Schwartzenegger
Ashley Judd
Sugar Ray
Please stop making comebacks:
Cher
John Travolta
The Rolling Stones
Paul Reubens
That is all.
Mare Winningham isn’t even close to having her 15 minutes yet. There are still way too many people who have never heard of her. They deserve to see her talent before she disappears.
OTOH, Madonna is into her fourth or fifth hour already.
You know, I used to like Al. He has done some classic performances in the past. But lately, everything I’ve seen him in he’s acted so over-the-top hammy it’s painful to watch. All the subtlety has gone out of his acting. To convey emotion, he just screams now.
BTW, I’m not saying everybody on the list necessarily deserves to fade away (i.e. Tarantino, though he should quit acting [and “From Dusk 'Til Dawn”? Bleh.]). It’s just that if their career trajectories don’t take an upswing soon, they’re gonna end up as "Where are they now"s.
Jeez, some real Mare Winningham fans out there, huh? Well, thank your lucky stars there’s Lifetime and its many disease-of-the-week movies so you can get your fix.
And with Glenn Close, it’s just personal.
I agree wholeheartedly with giving the boot to Pacino/ DeNiro whatever the hell his name is. How many different “Old man-tough guy” roles can these guys play?
Give it up fella’s…you are wrinkly old men, a 12 year old girl could beat the snot out of you.
Thank you.
Good Lord! For some of these people, their 15 were up years ago.
Quentin Tarentino? What’s he been doing lately besides doing bit roles in other’s movies?
Paula Abdul? She’s so '80s. I think she had an album that tanked a few years back.
Alicia Silverstone? I got it. First we find Amelia Earhart, then we’ll send out search parties for AS. Then after that, they can go looking for Patrick Swayze.
(Slight hijack: I work at a newspaper, and we got a call a few weeks ago asking us if we had heard that Patrick Swayze had died. We checked the wires . . . hmmmm, Anthony Quinn, check. But no Swayze.)
Now, let’s not forget the newest sinkers into the cultural pool:
Backstreet Boys: Their album’s tanking, their fans are dressing as empty seats at their shows and their new look’s gonna be the last look we’ll see of these bozos. I still think of The Onion’s headline about them “Backstreet Boys become Backstreet Men in Backstreet Ritual.”
Pearl Harbor: It’s official. This movie is a bomb. May make a quarter-million worldwide, but considering the cost of the film and Disney’s expectations for it, $250,000,000 just doesn’t go as far as it used to. Couldn’t happen to a nastier film. Of course, Disney’s blaming everyone for it – the critics in particular – but not the idiots who made this bloated, crappily manipulative piece of dreck.
