Thanks for the good advice. I’ll try with interrupting more decisively next time (a bit difficult, since I am the type who automatically shuts up when the other party talks over him. If I ever got to choose a superpower I’d request the shut-up look.)
I have also read about the two communication styles constanze mentions (in fact recently when someone talked to me about her troubles at work I asked whether I should listen the male or the female way. She asked for first the one than the other, for maximum mileage…)
Curiously enough it’s more often men than women that the situation in the OP happens to me. Perhaps because it’s more often with men that communication style A is called for. For me it’s evident that in a true dialogue the turns both sides take need to be short, because when you speak more than say one or two sentences you begin to run away with assumptions where the other party needs to put you right quickly, or to topics that the other party quickly needs to indicate that they are irrelevant to the problem at hand.
You’ll have to play around and figure out what that person responds to. I usually have pretty good success with letting them ramble for a little while, then going for the name repetition. Usually works. But sometimes you have to be more dramatic… without knowing this particular person and how self absorbed they are, it’s hard to say.
Sometimes this happens at work - the worst is when you phone someone to ask a question and they go off answering it before you’ve even finished asking it.
I’ve always had success with 'Could you stop talking please?" I think it’s borderline rude enough that it jolts people into shutting up long enough for you to finish.
“Whoa! You lost me. Let’s go back to the beginning, okay? What’s the flooflangle on the whatsie?”
Even if you have to phrase it like you are the one at fault*, if you keep at it you can get to the right place.
I know. You don’t want to do that. But the thing about social interaction is that sometimes you have to swallow your pride and take verbal responsibility for someone else being a dumbass. “Sorry, I misunderstood” when the problem isn’t that you misunderstood but that they are a COMPLETE IDIOT. That sort of thing.